ENGLISH GOSSIP.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 839, 30 March 1888, Page 23

ENGLISH GOSSIP.

(FKOM OUR GOSSIPING CORKKSPONDENT.) London, February 10. . “Oh, lie is only fit for tho colonies. Pack him off to Now Zealand, it will do him good,” were the only words of a sentence I overheard in Pall Mall the other afternoon as two gentlemen passed me while I was doing my daily constitutional. If I had not graduated iu retiring modesty in Wellington the windy I should have followed tho speaker and givon him the benefit of a colonial experience ; but I didn’t. I don’t know whom they referred to, but probably some scapegrace of a son too unruly to be any good at- home, and so he “ was only fit for tho colonies.” Bah ! what do thay take us colonists for ? Do they think we are all retired prizefighters, who can knock all the unruly “spots” out of a roprobrateio four rounds 1 The same evening at my club the conversation drifted on to an aristocratic bankruptcy then before the court. His Lordship of Courtenay - not that 110 belongs to that district of your 3 so redolent of odours from your gasworks, and known as Courteriayplace, but my Lord Courtenay, the Hon Edward Baldwin, a son of the Earl of Devon, was undergoing tho process Oi white-washing, with which process doubtless some of your readers are familiar. This splendid specimen of the gilded youth of Eogland, an exotic flower of the hot bed of aristocracy, ia a fast youth. In 1370 he became a bankrupt, and in 18t4 paid his creditors one shilling iu the pound 011 debts amounting to LIOO,OOO. Then in 1878 he went the same old game, paying this time 0.10 shilling iu the pound on L 20,000. Now lately fie has, for the third time, sought the comfort of the Official Assignee for another big sum. The youth, who has had two distinct large fortunes loft him, has quietly got rid of them, and lately has had to five on a beggar’s allowance of L 6 per week from his father. Why I mention this case is that it is rumored in Clubland ihad fie is to be sent out to Now Zealand to pass away time until some small legacy becomes due. I lmpe that, although he is a luidling, the Wellington people will be upon tJx-ir guard, unless they are willing to accept m a few years’ tune an aristocratic dividend of one eluding m the pound '! , I sec by my late copies of the JS&w Zealand'Times that your worthy City Fathers are disturbed over the question of tVe disposal of sho sewage, and that you are thinking of importing a structur.” What 011 earth for, 1 wonder 1 A destructor means something to destroy, and 1 take it. y-.uir OmiricU have serums thoughts of actually destroying what in another half centuiy conla return your Corporation at least £10,006 per annum. I don’t think they can really be serious in what they say. I remember how your drains, especial]y from Te Aro end of ine town, used to flow undisturbed into itie blue watera of your lovely 3ay, and off the Te Aro foreshore wnen I would take my walks abroad to see the sun-rise reflected in the water, I was saluted with odours otherwise than salubrious.

I wonder if city wisdom still alfew 3 this primitive order of things to exist? 5 Went for a trip during the past autmsi.Es ■dong tho Kentish coast, from Sheerness',, QueensboTo’, Favor sham, Whitstable, Herne Bay, Birehington, West-gate, Margate, and Ramsgate. In each of these places I heard murmurs, and loud, against the “ imbecility ” of tho rulers of the great metropolis, as well as against local powers, for their want of sense in allowing the sewage of London, to pour down She Thames and gefc cast, by the tides on tho shores of these once favorite resorts. Unless something is done, these towns are practicaliy rUkjerl, The theory that, when, sewage in emptied into an ocean, it is destroyed, may be theoretically correct when figured out on paper, btti/ when put into practice, as shown in the cases of tho towns I have* mentioned, is absurdly incorrect. Tlio focculent foeted matter tossed by the tides, and collected and coagulated by the accompanying greasy scum of the seAvers, is thrown up on the beaches iu solid cakes, and at low water the action of the sura and air melting the grease, liberates the poison germs and makes tho 1 neighborhood hideous. They manage these things better in France, is an old saying", in this case a true one. Lately theJrencti Chamber of Deputies has decided by » considerable majority that the sewage ou Paris should be applied to an additional 2000 acres of laud at Aclures, in the forest of St Germain. The Germans, too, see the folly of destroying sewage matter. Tho City Council of Berlin have not only applied the sewage of their town to 11,000 acres of land, but so satisfied, aro they that no local evil—qfia sanitation —nan attend the operation that they are Row converting the houses and homsteads cf two farms into convalescent hospitals, and tliU3 in a twofold way are turning an evil into a benefit. If your City Council is wise they will save the sewage, and make money out of it, and before your centenary comes round tho income" from that source alone will be a very handsome sum. The Council may say that we can’t do it, but I hope the Council do _ not set themselves up for being infallible, because they cannot see how to do it. There are plenty of clever men who can, and these men are not difficult to obtain. Anyhow, future generations will cal! your present Council very ugly names, and perhaps curse their memories for being so stupid if they now try io kid tho goose that can lay golden eggs. A lady friend of mine and her husband have been travelling on a round of visits in Scotland, and last week returned terrified to town because there happened two or three mild earthquakes in the “land o’ cakes.” “ Something terrible, my dear sir,” said the lady to me. “ The earth actually shook.” I smiled as I her some incidents of the “ shockers ” I had felt in Wellington when my chimney came down with a run ; or another I experienced in daylight in the Avenue, Wanganui, when I assumed the typical aspect of a Turk at his prayers right in the middle of tho footpath ; or the twenty odd shocks I had felt at Ohinemutu per diem. This was very consoling to nry lady friend, who imagined New Zealand * must be an awful place to reside in. Bub this reminds me that during the past few years earthquakes have been more prevalent in this part of the world than they .fiave been for centuries before, and the discussion in scientific circles just now is, “ why this thusness 1” Perhaps your savants in Wellington or Wanganui, who have more opportunities of observation, could tell us. I was-at Charing’Cross Station on Friday evening last, and saw the Queen of Sweden, accompanied by her son, Prince Oscar, and a large suite, arrived from the Continent. The party Avere travelling incognito, and, of course, were only privately received. Her Majesty’s travelling name Avas Countess Haga, and the Prince had his luggage labelled “Count Gripsholm.” Amongst the maids of honor in attendance upon the Queen was Miss Munck, aud, as gossip has it, the Prince is to marry her while they are in England. I was curious to see this brave young lady for whom a Prince has” dared the Mrs Grundy of Swedish society- in his determination to marry. She is a sweet little creature. I use that term in the abstract, for she is about sft 2in in height, of slight build, with a charming figure; an oval face, almost childlike in its simplicity ; small Grecian rose mobile mouth, with well formed lips, the lower one perhaps a trifle too full; a coin.plexicin like the petal of a delicately tinted maiden blush rose. Her strong point aro her byes, large, dark, and liquid, dreamy in repose, but when raised with concentration full of Gre and animation. If I were a prince, nay, If I were a king, and the lovely Munck had been a beggar girl, thoso eves would have fetched me. 1 ans afraid the Prince could nob help himself, for, staid old married man "that I am, the looks ot ,

those matchless eyes —By Jove ! hero conies my wife ; I must change the subjeer. Dining the other night at the Criterion with a nowly-avrived American gentleman, whose acquaintance I formed in New Orleans some few years ago, our conversation drifted on to newspapers. My friend said our leading journals were wonderfully and fearfully edited. Ho said the leading articles' were about as lively as a page in Webster’s Unabridged, and the locil columns about as interesting as a walk through Greenwood Cemetery, New York." “ .1 guess there’s not much life in your papers, anyhow,” said he. “flow our" people like a smart paper,

’which, handles matters attractively, and talks real smart on men and manners.” I think my American friend was right. Our leading journals are “ heavy,” it must be confessed, and English people are beginning slowly but surely to find it out. “ Heavy ” journals are losing ground, and “light ” or lively ones are rapidly coming to the front. People in these exciting times, when everything moves at electric speed, do not want to read homilies in their daily paper. They want crisp, curt criticism, and when they get it they buy it. This has been proved in that smart half-penny Radical evening paper, started on January 17, and which in less than a month has- reached a circulation of over 200,00.0 per diem. Publishers are finding out that live papers sell and dead ones slowly decay. Verb. sap. I was waiting at Charing Cross Station about 7 o’clock on the evening of February Bth, to catch a train for the Crystal Palace to see the great show of caged birds, for I heard there were some New Zealand tuis to be seen, when I found the platform crowded with notabilities. I saw, among others, Sir Robert Peel, Mr Arnold Morley, M.P., Mr Childers, Mr Paulton, M.P., Mr John Morley, &c. I inquired why this commotion, when I was informed that Mr Gladstone and his wife were expected shortly from the Continent. I estimated there must have been a couple of thousand people in the station, and at least ten thousand outside the gates. At 7.35 the train came in, and when the G. O.M. alighted from the carriage the cheers were deafening, and were quickly taken up by the great crowd outside, although I must confess the outsiders mingled their applause with decided groans, hoots, and hisses. Mr Gladstone looks wonderfully brightened up by his trip abroad. He walks more vigorously, his eyes have lost their sunken lack lustre look, his cheeks are bronzed by the southern sun, and, as Mr . Morley remarked, “ his trip has made him 30 years younger. “May that bo so,” was the response of an Irish Nationalist M.P., who stood near me.

1 hope none of my Wellington friends are short of money. I was once when I resided in your breezy city, and I applied for a loan. I got it, for I had good security—but it cost me a solid 15 per cent. I don’t require to borrow money now, for the simple reason I can’t —my securities are not worth pawning. But if I had—oh, it makes my mouth water to think of it, and what I could have done with it in the days when your thriving suburb of Newtown was a howling wilderness. I went into the city yesterday and had a chat with a financial friend of mine. It reply to my usual question : “ Well, how’s money today 1” “Oh,'so, so; rather quiet. In fact fairly easy. Three-quarters to 1 per cent, for a few days, and three months bank bills are about lj per cent., and it is expected that the banks will lower their deposit rate to 1 per cent, in a few days.”Oh, impecunious Wellingtonians, don’t you wish you were a little nearer ? As you have the rabbit-plague in yom Colony, I see you are ambitious to get rid of it ; and M. Pasteur is preparing to slay bunny wholesale with chicken cholera. Now, if you were real smart people you would try to turn the despised rabbit into a source of profit. Some one must be doing this with Australian opossums, for my wife bought a splendid rug, 32in long by 17in broad, mounted on red cloth, for 3s 3d, the other day ; ' a couple could be had for 43 3d. I had bought ’possum rugs in the colonies, and, knowing something of the real value of them, took the trouble to. very carefully examine these rare bargains my wife had bought, when, to my disgust, I found they were rabbitskins dressed “a la opossum.” I wandered the other day into ill-savory, but money-making, Bermondsey, and dropped in, “ promiscus-like,” with ' a man engaged in the fur trade, and, in the comfortable smoking-room of tho Saracen’s Head, in the Blue Anchor-road, our talk was of fur, furry. “ Bless your heart, sir,” said the man, “here is Bermondsey ; we can produce sealskin, short sable, silver fox, and almost any shorthaired skin you want out of them blessed New Zealand rabbits. It’s the doing of ’em up that makes the skin—same as sardines are only sprats boiled in oil.” I pondered over this, and now I beg to suggest that if any enterptising colonist is coming Home during this summer he would do well to visit Bermondsey, and catch a inan who knows as much about the mysteries of the fur trade as my informant does, and transplant him to New Zealand, and in a few months’ time your exports could include sealskin and other valuable furs. There's money in it, my masters, there’s money in it. I am sometimes interested in cricket, and so are, 1 know, many of your readers. At a meeting of the Marylebone Cdcket Club, on February Bth, the vexod question of leg before Vyicket was warmly discussed. Mr Ellison, President of the Yorkshire Club, moved a resolution, which was carried unanimously/—“ That rule 24 of the Marylebone Glut) bo altered so iis to at euro that a batsman shall bo out if with any part of his person being in a straight line between wicket and wicket he stop a ball which in tho opinion of the umpire would have hit the wicket.” Thi3 resolution is meeting with favorable approval of all our leading cricketing journals, and no doubt before our season is fairly on will be adopted by all leading clubs. I know it is too late for your season, but your cricket clubs should make a note of tho above resolution for next season.

My old friend Brown, the J.C. of Tuapeka fame, did not neglect any opportunities while in London of pushing forward the claims of the Blue Spur and Gabriel’3 Gnlly Consolidated Gold Mining Company ('Limited). Ho got for his London directors Sir Walter Buller, Sir John Stokes (a lieutenant-general), and the Hon W. Gisborne, your once Minister of Mines. As the London solicitors he secured the substantial firm of Snell, Son and Greenip, of the city, and Sir Robert Stout, of Dundin, as colonial solicitor. With such an arrav of names the venture comes properly authenticated, and from what I learn, success is likely to follow. The news of the silver “ boom ” in Australia, and tho arrival of splendid specimens, has given fillip to mining speculations of late, but let New Zealand send just ono duffer on to the London market, and you may sing small for tho next seven years over your “immense natural mineral deposits.” It is sometimes very astonishing what nonsenaa will amuse some people. A lively discussion has been carried on in some of tho London daily newspapers as to whether it is right and proper for clergymen to wear a moustache. Some writers think evidently that a minister cannot proach wholesome doctrine whoso upper lip is “ disfigured ” by its hirsute appendage. Several clerical gentlemen have written in defence of the moustache, and one, perhaps a little more bold than the rest, openly avers that tho sole reason for his monstacho is to hide a very ugly mouth. Then the funny writer comes up smilingly and wants to know,, don’t you kno\v, if women whoso mouthes are not in the highest pitch of beauty should not be compelled also to wear moustaches. I know your colonial journals, at least some of them, do at times insert some very coriou3 epistles from correspondents, but I feel certain the colonial press never stooped so low as some of our London dailies in permitting such rubbish to appear in their columns. As many of your readers are no doubt great travellers up and down your stormy coast, they may not at all times escape the terrible nuisance of sea-3ickness. How to avoid, prevent, or cure this distressing malady has been a puzzle for travellers since the days of Noah. Many a time and oft, when journeying from your city to Onehunga, how I have—well, not exactly blessed the Manukau bar, which always upsets my calculations and made me long for the time when tho Main Trunk Line, via Marton, to Auckland would £be fiuished. Well, we hear of a fresh remedy for sea-sickness nearly every month, but hitherto none have been a success. Now Mr Watson Smith, lecturer in chemical technology to the Owens College, Manchester, writes to The Times to say that a substance known as “ antipyrine,” a new artificial alkaloid discovered in the products of coal tar by Knorr, of Eriangen, is the cure for mal-de-mer. According to Professor Smith, this new remedy is, a potent one, and numerous tests have proved its value. In moat cases a dose of li grammes is sufficient, the effect being manifested in ten minutes. Perhaps some of your local chemists or medicoes will give this new preventive a fair trial, and if successful, will enable more to enjoy a pleasant trip iu your well-appointed Union steamers.

“ What i 3 the matter ?” asked a lawyer of his coachman. “The horses are running away, sir.” “Cau’t you pull them up?” “I am afraid not.” “Then,” said the lawyer, after judicial delay, “run into something cheap.” Luxury.—Alderman to his guest, after good dinner —“Elp y’shelf ! Recollec’every bu'le o’ champagne we drink provi’sh employment for the workin’ claashesh ! ” Judge: “The prisoner is discharged.” Prisoner : “Well, begorra, I didn’t know Oi was loaded.”

“Will you please insert this obituary notice ?” asked an old gentleman oi an editor. “I make bold to ask it because the deceased had a great many friends about here who’d be glad to hear of his death.” During the time Sir Saul Samuel has held the Agent-Generalship of New South Waieß, he has floated loans on the English market to the extent of £27,000,000 ; and on one occa-, sion loans to the value of £11,000,000 in nine" months.