Quips and Cranks.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 546, 22 July 1882, Page 4

Quips and Cranks.

• THE HOTEL CLERK WHO KNOWS

everything.

A newly arrived and singularly assorted •ouple at the Fifth Avenue Hotel, consisting : of a Londoner and out-and-out American Western man, stood watching the throng of people coming and going at the marble eounter the other evening, and listening with surprise to the endless number of quick questions made to the hotel clerk about trains, rooms and individuals, and his instantaneous replies, when the Englishman j broke out with :. . “ Most extraordinary man ; seems to know everybody and everything—wonder if there is any question about a railway train or any person that he can’t answer.” - £ .. “ I’ll bet half a dozen ohampagne I’ll put A him a question about a train he can’t answer,” said the Westerner. , . “ Done : I’ll stand six to see him go to grass,” said Her Majesty’s subject. “Well, here goes, then,’ and Western stepped up to the marble counter. “ Say. You appear to know everything and-everybody ; wlio is there that’s going to ih—l, and when’ll the train start ?” ; *sCharles J. Guiteau Btarts 30th of June, 'air,” replied the olerk, looking the querist Tight in the eye without moving a muscle. “ Well, I reckon you are about right* but you catft tell me where can go and get a ticket, can you ? ’ V ?SGo to the devil!” said the clerk, turning awiy. - ■ ■ "ji said the Western guest, looking over to Parker, the blonde alter the laughter had subsided,: “ you can" charge six bottles of ‘ Fiz ’ in my bill for the nso of them gentlemen, .for I must weaken on <|his bet—it’s agin, me.” He withdrew, and !*he clerk kept answering questions about Other and more familiar routes with perfect