Intelligent Vagrant.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 247, 3 June 1876, Page 12

Intelligent Vagrant.

Quis scit an adjiciant hodiernae crastina summse Tempora Di Superi.—Horace. All who know Mr. Donald (I mean the Mr. Donald who has lately taken to hotel proprietorship) will agree with me that he is a gentleman who is not inclined to give anything for nothing to anybody. Indeed, a personal experience of last week convinces rne that, upon this point, he is peculiarly sensitive. Whilst I was walking down Tory-street he suddenly came out from the hotel of which he is the proud possessor, and clutching me by the arm, pointed in a general way to Mount Victoria, and said, " Hoot mon, dinna ye see yon sheep in my paddock." lam unable through ignorance of the Greek language to continue Mr. Donald's conversation in his own words, but I gathered f rom : him at length that a particular paddock on the side of the hill was his, that some people without leave or licence had turned sheep into it, that this proceeding tended to sap the credit of our rights, liberties, and dearest institutions, and that it was a matter that should receive the attention of the Pres 3. Mr. Donald was proceeding further, when, having better eyesight than he, I pointed out to him that what he took for sheep were merely quantities of clothes put out on gorse bushes to dry after some "family wash." At first he would not believe me, but at last he did, and returned into his hotel, and from the fact that his return was greeted with laughter, I conclude that some people there must have been practising on his well-known simplicity of character, and showing him for sheep what were really only linen and calico. X and Y were engaged this week at a little game of euchre for a £1 a side, and A, B, and others were looking on. It was X's deal, and Y said something to him which would have caused an ordinary man to make answer with his fist. X, however, merely said that he would not stay to be insulted and would stop playing. "Oh dear no, you won't," said Y, " you have turned up a right bower for trumps, and if you have a good hand the devil himself conldn't insult you enough to cause you to stop playing," and the result proved that he was quite right. It is refreshing to find that public opinion t as represented by the Press, entirely agrees with Mr. Pharazyn's statement that he was used to feed and clothe a family on £IOO a year when at a station. Everyone knows the station. It had quite a reputation in its day, and was called, I balieve, the " Go on" station, from a popular belief that to stop at it in hopes of getting anything would have been useless.

By the way, that giving of the name "go on " reminds me of a curious story of an epithet I read in an American paper the other day. At a contested election one patriot called his opponent in a tone of withering scorn, " a sooner man." The gentleman to whom thia was applied rose in indignation, and requested an explanation, or threatened to demand satisfaction. " What, sir," said he, "what do you mean by a sooner man?" Replied the first speaker, " One who would sooner take a drink than not."

Mr. Lee, the Inspector of Schools, dropped a few words of wisdom at the last meeting of the Education Board. As people know very well, an animated discussion had been going on as to whether a schoolmaster could board children at £25 a year without loss to himself. One member of the Board observed that he thought that sum should pay the schoolmaster handsomely. " I've no doubt the schoolmaster would make it pay," said Mr. Lee. As the late Captain Bunsby might have observed, " the bearing of this obserwation lays in the application of it." It seems to me that Sir George Grey is making a great deal of unnecessary fuss, asking the permission of the Governor to use her Maiesty'sname, and in fact the names of many distinguished people, in order to' support his efforts to obtain justice for the world, and to <nve everybody everything. In order to save him further trouble, I have written to him, eiving him full permission to use my name in connection with anything he may be doing, in the sure and certain hope that it will be quite as useful to him as that of her Most Gracious Majesty. Two gentlemen, whom I shall call Noddy and Toddy, had a friend from the country in town this week, whom in a burst of generosity they invited to see' life in Wellington, at their expense, by accompanying them to the pit at the opera. At starting for the theatre, Noddy neglected to provide himself wita money, trusting to borrow what would be sufficient from Toddy. Unfortunately, Toddy had set out also filled with the same philanthropic idea. Consequently, when they got near tbe Pay-box a mutual explanation took place, and they had to borrow enough from their country friend to take them into the theatre, and to provide malt and spirituous refreshments in the intervals. " Spirit of hospitality, how are thy rites abused!"