WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE SAYING

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXVII, Issue 23767, 21 September 1940, Page 2 (Supplement)

WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE SAYING

Rhyme and Reason WHILE anything but a lover of pootrv, there is ono rhyme that keeps running through Adolf's mind:— Angleterre Is still there. —London Opinion. Cops AJO Roman nuthor wo know of lias ever described the after-hours life of lictors, but it's more than likely that when they dumped the scourgingrods and the axo behind the hall-door of an evening and went out ior a snifter with the boys, lictors were as jolly, likeable chaps as New York policemen off duty. So are A.P.M.'s, into whose habits and customs we have recently made further research. Like many other people, we got a wrong impression of A.P.M.'s in the last war. They don't really enjoy telling the waiter to murmur politely in your ear that the3''d like a word with you in the vestibule, and if you cut up injured or rough it grieves them intensely. Further, you will admit —if you knew them in 1914Is—they're much more broadminded nowadays. —D. B. "Wyndham Lewis, in The Bystander.

" I'd like to tee some of the new parachute jumpers." —Answers, London Homes ("WEEN ALEXANDRA was not lacking in n sense of humour. When visiting a hospital she asked _ a little girl where she lived and received the reply, "In the Edgeware Road, opposite Garrould's. Where do you live, madam P" "In Buckingham Palaco Road, opposite Gorringe's," answered the Queen without hesitation. The Private Lifo of Queen Alexandra. Early Closing •THE private schoolboy has found a way of bringing his weekly letter home to a graceful conclusion. This is how ono ended an unusually short Sunday letter: "I am afraid I must close now as tho rest is of military importance." —The Daily Telegraph, London. Beyond Rubies TN a certain Lancashire taproom much argument recently proceeded regarding Hitler's chances of successfully invading us. Some were actually of the opinion that it might happen, but majority would not hear of it. Ihe champion of the latter based his faith 011 the fact of tho sea. "It's wutli a pound a noggin!" ho declared. —Lucio. in tho Manchester Guardian.

Shirts "rrmtOUGHOUT his whole life the Duce has never changed," says an Italian official. Now we know where he got his idea for Blackshirts. —Punch, London Here To-day, Gone To-morrow fJHILDKEN don't study geography any more; they follow it. —Portland Oregonian. Loot

TT seems that "famous Napoleon treasures" are being removed from Paris to Hitler's residence. The advantage of that course is that treasures sent to Berchtesgaden can also bo brought back again. But it is interesting to find the great ones in Germany following so closely the example of the small ones. There was a Forain cartoon in the last war of a Prussian officer superintending the packing for Germany of a French child's doll. The child weeps bitterly and begs for its return. "No," says the officer, "I am the father of a family." —The Observer, London. Verboten! TOSEPH GERHART EDUAPD BEITZ " Had a dreadful fear of heights. Therefore he smiled when he was put Into a Regiment of Foot And not in the Luftwaffe's ranks (He hated 'planes far more than tanks). But Joseph's smile abruptly faded When he was suddenly paraded And buckled in a parachute; lie Blanched when told it was his duty To drop upon a foreign soil To blow up tons and tons of oil. He murmured "I would rather notl And now N marks the fatal spot. —David Adam, in London Opinion. Young England AT a South-East Coast town recently •"■I was told a story of the local Sea Scouts. Some of them had obtained an old lifeboat, which they fitted with bunks and partly decked in. They had the reputation of being the biggest "scroungers" of naval stores in the district. Wheft the evacuation of Dunkirk took place they got a tow over there and did valuable work. On their return they were asked what sort of a time they had had. The reply was: "Splendid*! We got a wonderful coil of new rope." —Peterborough, in The Daily Telograph, London. Moneyed Woman rTHE woman who makes more money -A- than anvbodv else in the world keeps very I'ittlo of it for herself. She is Mrs. Nellie Tayloe Ross, Director of the United States Mint, custodian of fourteen billions of gold, fabulous stocks of silver, most of which is stocked at Fort Knox and West Point; all of it guarded by sensitive clectricnl systems that will ring like all bedlam if approached by a dishonourable thought I She supervises mints at Philadelphia, Denver, San Francisco, and gold-importing and assay offices in New York, New Orleans, Seattle. —-Tit-Bits, London.

London Opinion Simple Logic rPHE man who fears he'll lose his job Will never rise above the mob; Nor will the man so firmly planted He always takes his job for granted; Which narrows the field to that rare eccentricity: The common-sense guy who can get good publicity. —Cr. B. Walton, in The Saturday Evening Post. Noisy Warfare r PHEY would not have thought much of the "screaming bomb" in the old days, when both sides in a war paid deference to music, and not merely in the way of trumpet and drum. At the siege of Lcrida (1617), Voltaire says, Conde "was accused in certain books of a bravado in having opened the trenches to the sound of violins; but these writers were ignorant that this was the custom in Spain." —Observer, London. Just in Time r PHERE is still something to be said for a rigid discipline and a certain amount of that old-fashioned fuss which a couple of years ago looked like being abolished for ever in favour of that spirit so satisfyinglv summed up by Slogger Bairnsfather in that celebrated Old Bill query: "Could I interest you in a spot of drill?" Just in time, that stuff was checked. —D. B. "NVyndham Lewis, London. Short Cut to Economy A JOURNALIST working at the Ministry of Information submitted some "copy" for censorship. He was summoned by the censor, who 6aid he could not accept the material because it consisted of two different stories on the same sheet of paper. Tho writer could_ not persuade the censor to join him in his paper-saving campaign; there was a regulation about it.-Finally he cut the paper across and handed in the two separate sheets. The censor was full of admiration. "I had not thought of that,", was his comment. —Peterborough, in The Daily Telegraph, London. No Luck COLDIER: "Didn't you have any luck at the rnces?" His chum: "Luck! When my horse 'passed me I leaned over the fence, pointed and yelled out to > the jockey, 'They went up that wayl' —P. Carr, Belfast. Ruling X>ABY chicks are poultry, in the opinion of Buffalo CitV Court Judge George L. Hager, and lie would not let Chester Myszka tell him otherwise. Myszka, charged with selling poultry without a licence, told the court ho handled baby chicks and insisted that they were not poultry because they were sold as pets and not as edibles. "Chicks are poultry," Judge Hager ruled, "and 1 don't care what pet names your customers call them." —The New York Times.

Line of Least Resistance I T , is said that the collapse of the French Anny was due to too much imaginotion. —Punch. London. Then the Band Played rr\YO lorries had collided and one had bent the shock-bar of the other. "You ought not to be allowed to drive anything but a perambulator 1" screamed one driver. "Yes, and with you sitting in it!" shouted the other. —Wochenschau. Deaf Mutes Safest Drivers QTATE figures show that motorists unable to speak or hear have the best safety records in Pennsylvania. William J. Hamilton, secretary of revenue reported that only one minor collision has marred the two-year record of the 600 deaf-mutes licensed to drive. He said the deaf-mute "is far more alert than the normal motorist, is more self-possessed, lias better control of his vehicle and has a wider knowledge of traffic rules and regulations." . —The New York Times. In Simple English IDROFESSOR'S Daughter: "Circumstances compel me to decline a | marital arrangement with a man of such inferior pecuniary resources." Student Suitor: "Er —ah —I don't get you." Professor's Daughter: "That's just what I'm telling you." —St. Mary's Journal-Argus Rags and Bones T>AGS and bones are among the prized the borough councils are accumulating to save waste. Rags rank with waste paper, or above it. Bones are valuable because they are oneeightlr fat, one-eighth glue and the remaining three-quarters makes fertilisers for crops, or feeding meal for cattle. Banana skins also make first-, rate fertilisers. —Children's Newspaper, London..

Grass r rHE earth . and sky Conspire to grow it, And you and 1 Perspire to mow it, —Richard Armour, in The Saturday Even ing Post.