COURTESY DEFENDED

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 23157, 1 October 1938, Page 14 (Supplement)

COURTESY DEFENDED

In the Modern World Good Man

A REPORT from America—l do A not "know whether it is true «*• or not—announces the inauguration of a "No Courtesy" movement. The object of the movement, it is stated, is to do away with social hypocrisy. There are other reasons equally good, however, for the abolition of courtesy. For one thing, it would save an enormous amount of waste. Think of all the ink that is wasted in London every day in writing or typing those v empty phrases of politeness, "Dear Sir" and "Yours truly." We know perfectly well that the "Sir" whom we call "dear" is frequently a man we do not •ven know and that wo are not "his truly" in any sento of the words whatever. Why, then, waste millions of quarts bf ink every year in using words that do not mean what they say? Oceans of Ink - This is a practical age, arid those oceans of ink could be more usefully employed. ■. Think, again, of the appalling waste Of muscular effort that takes place every day as a result, of the masculine habit of taking off the hat to a wontan. It seems to me an extraordinary thing that an elderly man should be unable to meet a female acquaintance in the street without immediately showing her his bald head. There is enough energy wasted on hat-raising iu England every year to build a new Embankment on tho south sido of the Thames. A few years ago a number of Austrians founded a "Club of Opponents of Hand-shaking," and the suppression of hat-raising was also included among their objects. What earthly good has it ever doue a woman to see a man temporarily bare-headed, and what earthly good has it ever done anybody to have his or her hand crushed or held like a dead fish in yours? Handshaking is also said to be unhygienic. A Club of Opponents of Hand-shaking might with advantage be founded in all civilised, countries, i I can think of very few forriis of politgness that could be defended on

utilitarian grounds. r lhe bus conductor and I exchange "thank-you's'' every time I give him a penny and lie gives me ft ticket. What is it but a waste of breath? I cannot ask anyone at table to pass the butter without making uso of the superfluous word "please." My meaning would be perfectly clear if I simply said "Butter." Some men do this. They become the heroes of women novelists. Must be a Reason There must be some reason, however, for the code of courtesy which has grown up in all countries. Men can scarcely have invented all these foolish hat-raisings and grimaces and thankyou's and pleases just for the fun of the thing. It may seem absurd that a woman who sits in the house with her hat on should bo considered perfectly. polite, whereas a man who wears his hat in the house is looked on as a kind of savage; but I am sure that there is a sound reason for this if wo could, discover it. I fancy, however, that the same object would be achieved if men were

allowed to wear their lints in the house and women were forbidden to do so. The important thing is to have a code of good manners —it matters very little what particular act or form of words you make the symbol of courtesy. In one country you take off your hat; in another, you take off : your shoes; in another, you 1 stand on-one leg and raise the other leg as far .as you can behind you. The language of courtesy varies 'as does the language of common speech. But. it. always, expresses admirably what it means. The original object "of courtesy, I imagine, was to subdue the hostile instincts of human beings. Men' wished to make it clear to their fellow 'men that they were friends, not dangerous enemies, and so-they rubbed noses and made all sorts of peculiar gestures to ingratiate themselves. 1' am always conscious of a faint hostility in a man who grunts instead of saving "Thank you," and I am similarly conscious of an atmosphere of friendliness when someone nods and smiles and says "Good morning." Greater Hypocrites It is significant that the Nazis have forbidden Viennese citizens to make use of the equivalents of "Dear Sir" and "Yours truly" when writing business letters to Jews. The Nazis instinctively realise that phrases of this kind increasingly: contribute, to the creation of a friendly world. Hence this form of the No Courtesy movement, which is aimed, not at the abolition of social hypocrisy, but at the intensification of hostility, " " 1 • TV

Asregards hypocrisy, I am convinced .that, if wo dropped all tlio ordinary forms of politeness Ave should be far greater hypocrites. We should be pretending to be misanthropic boors when in point of fact we rather like other people. Wo should bo aping the hostilities of primitive man instead of enjoying the friendliness of civilisation! "• Jt is true that saying ''Thank .you'*' and "Please" does not coinc naturally to all human beings. Many children havo to be badgered by their nurses into, saying "Thank you" for such small ' mercies as chocolates and mandarin oranges. There are children, it is said, who so liato saying "Thank you" that nothing would induce them to do so, if it were not absolutely necessary in order to get the oranges and chocolates. Sullen Voices These are, no doubt, the children who, we are told nowadays, have a secret wish to kill their fathers. As they learn to say "Thank you" : and "Please" the wish probably diminishes and ultimately disappears. If you feel tempted to join the "No Courtesy" movement, try to imagine

By ROBERT

[ what it would be like to live in a house • in which none of the members of the family ever took the trouble to he polite to each other. There would be 110, morning greetings. ' <» If 'a boy wanicd jam, he would simplv sav" "Jam" in a ; "sullen voice. If the father made a joke nobody would smile. If' the mother asked a 'daughter where she was going after breakfast, the daughter, who would be reading a book,, would pretend not to hear her. Breeding Hate How tho members; of the family would' all got:to hate each other! How glad tho beastly father would be to escape from the presence of his beastly children! The truth is you cannot have a friendly' world- without a good many apparently meaningless gestures and phrases that symbolise friendliness. Why, even a dog wags its tail, .thereby promoting confidence in the straiiger who is most terrified of dogs. ' Perhaps tho members of the No Courtesy movement would like to stop dogs from wagging their tails. They may regard it as a form of hypocrisy. But it isn't. And no more is "Dear Sir" or "Thank you."