LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 23157, 1 October 1938, Page 4 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

- By MERCUTIO :

The Quick and the Others MR. SEMPLE claimed the other clay that he is not a pacifist. In fact he is willing to lead a battalion to war. Many people who had previously evinced pacifist leanings now state that they will have pleasure in joining Mr. Semple's battalion—provided he gives them a good pair of running shoes. Strictly Business The nine-year-old daughter ol a business man was spending a holiday in the country, and in duo course she wrote to her father. The letter itself was childish enough, with a rambling account of all.she had seen and done, but the ending was strangely ■ suggestive that the child will follow in father's footsteps. There was no sign of "Love from your daughter Betty. On the contrary j the letter ended. "Yours faithfully, B. Smith. Never Too Old Grandma, well past the three-score years and ten mark, caused no small consternation in the household one night this week by announcing mysteriously that she was going out. She refused to tell where she. was going, aiicl dulv departed, in taxicab. An hour later, one of lier grandsons, whose business took him to a particularly noisy election meeting, was surprised to see the aged soul among a particularly rowdy section of the audience, doing her full share of applauding and criticising, and generally enjoying the pre-election fun. Is it necessary to add that she was born.in County Kerry?

Momentous Occasions •* The launching of the Queen Elizabeth this week recalls the tale of the wife of an American admiral, who attended many layncliings but never left the scene without shedding a few tears. "I always cry at a launching,", she would explain, dabbing her eyes with a piece of linen. "It makes me think of the time when my baby took her first step."

A Political Jolt Miss Twenty-one is taking her first vote seriously. She has quite decided not to be led by the family, but, like all good Britons, she intends to think for herself; and this week, when one of the candidates was speaking in a near by hall, full of political .enthusiasm, she went to. the meeting. The' nice man told her many interesting things. When some of the ruder element started interrupting she was quite upset and, when she . could bear the heckling 110 longer, jumped up and prodded one of the hecklers with her umbrella, saying, "Sit down." The man, surprised, sat down. ""Well done, miss," said a man behind her. "If you'd brought a clothes prop you could have quieted that joker over there, too." Still a Seat Left The warning given by a disappointed, elector to a candidate for Parliament, as the latter Was wending his way to a hall at which ho was billed to speak on Monday, .night that, "You won't get in; there isn't a seat left," recalls a crowded meeting in the Auckland Town Hall, that was addressed ■by the- jISI r. Massey, then Prime Minister; in ><April, 1014. Interest in politics -was running high at the time, and before the Prime Minister arrived all available -space in the hall, both 'sitting and - standing, was crammed, like a- huge tin, of sardines, right to the doors, while outside there was a closely packed overflow mass extending to the footway kerbs. When Mr. Massey,:arrived at the Grey's Avenue entrance, the change of a seat 01; even "getting in',' at all would havo appeared to a stranger as very remote. However, with the aid of a couple of sturdy. Constables and the weight of his own burly frame, he managed to "get in," although the going was heavy. Once inside, of course, he got one of the best reserved, platform seats, although he did not have tile opportunity of making much use of'it.

The Heckler's Gentle Art The timely .statement by the Commissioner of Police regarding disturbances at political, meetings' breathes a spirit of rational toleration in the matter of interjections. Reasonable interjections will not be banned and there is still a chance for the display of wit and quick repartee, wherever such qualities exist. Even the hoary but unsolved classic, "What did Gladstone say in '79?" will presumably not be offside. -As is remarked, interjections sometimes assist a speaker. One is reminded of a candidate for the House of Commons who was addressing a meeting on the night before the poll. '.I here were a number of hecklers who did not seem to be making much headway until a voice at the back shouted, "Does your mother know you're out?" The reply came like a shot from a gun: "Yes, and to-morrow night she will know that 1 am'in." This, of course, brought down the house. It was not known until after election day that the query and answer were a "frame-up," the questioner being the candidate's butler.

By Machinery In theso days, scientific research and the demands of competitive marketing have produced vacuum cleaners possessing such a variety of gadgets and accessories that it taxes ingenuity to find a use for them all. They certainly give scope for the salesman with imagination in setting out the selling points of his machine. Mercutio saw an elderly lady the other day putting one of these "new-fangled contraptions" to a use that could not have possibly entered into the thoughts of the most imaginative salesman. Sitting contentedly in the sun, she was carefully "dry-cleaning" the furry coat of her tabby cat, Losing the Lead The Dailv Mail, London, referring to the 40-hour week and other Popular Front measures in France, said in August: This attempt to run a highly industrialised nation'on wild-cat Socialistic lines has been one of the most colossal failures in modern history. Yes, one of the most colossal failures, savs the Sydney Bulletin. The New Deal in the* United States has been another beauty. These writers seem to have overlooked New Zealand, which in such matters is claimed to lead the world. A Wise Head Although the Barbarians' Rugby team, comprised mainly of old All Blacks, did not need to use much of their guile to defeat the Auckland representatives last week, there was plenty of evidence to show that if the occasion had called for it, there was a wealth of experience in the "veterans." One of the Barbarians who was carrying rather ■ more weight than in his heydey was being rapidly outstripped by a more youthful Aucklander, but he solved the problem by calling out in a voice audible in the stands, "Look out behind, you," and the resultant hesitation en:-' .abled another Barbarian to tackle the already dumbfounded Aucklander. "Now Then" The Prime Minister's favourite expression "Now then," of course, found a placo' or two in his broadcast address last week. The same phrase was used much more freely by the Minister of Lands at To Awanmtu on Tfiesday evening—in .'-fact, it - many listehers that'^rr: v Langkbhe had stolen his chief's; thunder. Many politicians, including Prime. Ministers post • and present, have indulged habitually iii pet phrases. That of the laite Mr. Massey was. "Very well theh^'' ;a. verbal; mannerism somewhat akin to that of Mr. Savage. Sir Joseph Ward, a very 1 rapid speaker, was not so sparing of words in his particular fancy of "in a young?';country such ris this is," which Hansard reporters were wont to condense, into a remarkable shorthand contraction specially designed for the purpose. Then Sir Joseph, after speaking at length on a variety of subjects, .would preface his "lastly" by saying -"Now just a word, or two," thence proceeding to unburden-himself of" about 1000 words,.: more or' less,.- just as the spirit moved 'him.'