THE DIRECT ROUTE

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXV, Issue 23139, 10 September 1938, Page 14 (Supplement)

THE DIRECT ROUTE

By DENIS DUNN Illustrated by Minhinniclc

ccT tell you what," I smiled. I "We will just drive aimlessly, going wherever my fancy loads." Eileen merely gave a slightly sour smile, and began to study the map. Then she shut her eyes, sang, "l'.eni, jticeni, mini—mo," ■ and stabbed her linger at the map. "Lot's go there." she suggested. ] studied the place she indicated. "If you think I am going to take this car through .Platts .Junction, driving up the main line—" I began. "Not there, you ass," she replied. "That little village there —Auldmarten." i, started the car and we chugged along the lane, keeping our eyes open for a native. We found one in the first quarter of a mile. He was a pleasant-faced lad. with flaxen hair, arranged in a tasteful cowlick. "Marnin!" he said, politely. "Marnin," smiled Eileen. "Could you show us the way to Auldmarten, please?" "S'aw!" he grinned. "Is there anybody round her who could tell us?" 1 asked. "Gh, aye!" he grinned. "Who?" I said, patiently. ".Me," he replied. "But you said you couldn't show us .the way?" said Eileen. "Xo more I can't," he guffawed, "because I'm goin' in the opposite direction, and can't come with thee. But I can tell ye the way." "ft" you would be so kind," I suggested. "Very well, then," he began, scratching his head. "You go straight on down yon until you come to 'The Cat and Custard.' You go past the 'Cat and Custard,' until you turn by Benger's Lane, and come to 'The Xun and Goat-skin.' Y'ou carry on past 'The Xun and Goatskin' "

"A temperate district," I murmured. "Till finally you come to Hog Line." "I see," said Eileen, briskly. "Which way do we turn then?" "Ye don't," he explained; "ye keep straight on past Hog Lane until you come to a great gurt pile of chemical manure. You can't miss it!" "Too true, too true," I agreed. "Yon go on past the manure—" "With great rapidity," 1 nodded. " and on your left you will see a rough sort o' lane, marked Dickers Close. Don't forget that—Dickers Close." "Thanks," I said. "When we go up there, are we far from Auldmarten?" "You don't go up it, you go past it," he said seriously, "along Brick Lane. You can't miss it." "How far are we then?" asked Eileen. " 'lsout half-way," he said, slowly, "tho' of course, you could make it a

bit shorter-like, by turnin' off just after Hog Lane." "How:-"' we asked. "Well, remember that great gurt pile ol' chemical manure?" he said, happily. "We have got by it once," I pointed out. ''l think wo will keep straight 011." "Just as you like," ho grinned. "Where was we?" "We was in Brick Lane," murmured Eileen. "All . . . we carry on through Brick Lane until we come to Gunter Magna. Right through Guiitor Magna, past the oast houses, until on the left-hand side you will see a great gurt pile o' chemical manure." "It's been following us?" I gasped. "Xaw . . . naw . . ." he guffawed, 'tis another pile of manure. You carry on past it." "We had no intention of adopting it," said Kileen crossly. 1 hushed her to silence, for I had a feeling that our I'riend was coming into the straight, and Auldmarten was probably within a few miles, or manures of us, bv now. 1 was right. "Carry straight on till you come to an old stone tower," he said. "Get out there and cross the turnip field. Let's see, what time is it, now?" "Half-past twelve," i said, wondcringly. "Good, you'll just do it," he said. "Cross the turnip field into the next field, where you'll see some fellers digging and forking. There's one of them with a great thatch of red hair, you can't miss him." "What's this got to do with finding Auldmarten ?" f demanded. "I'm trying to tell you. if you listen." he said, crossly. "This chap with the hair is young Martin. He's the eldest son. He'll know where old Martin is working this morning, and ' he'll direct you to him, no doubt. Marnin!" "Maruin!" I nodded, in a weak voice.