A GENTLEMAN DINES OUT

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXIV, Issue 22909, 11 December 1937, Page 9

A GENTLEMAN DINES OUT

BT MICHAEL ROMAIN

The Cook, the Butler and the Gentleman lived in one of those slender, attractive fymses in Park Lane.

Mrs. O'Hara, the cook, was an Irishwoman, a Catholic, gay, warmhearted, with a magnificent head of shining red hair. Her task in life was to look after the Gentleman's digestion, to tempt his appetite with, succulent trifles to produce such perfect harmonious dinners that his friends envied him, and his business associates surrendered 'meekly nnci blindly to his will. Mr. Tredennick, the butler, was cast in a different mould. Lean, cadaverous, •: austere, ho belonged to one of those obscure Puritanical sects which consider it a sjin to bo alive. But what ho did not. know about butling and valeting could bo written on a pin's head. George Humphrey Blair, tho gentleman, valued his two servants. He realised that they had played a great part jn his material and spiritual welfare. A man who, at 45, is still unmarried, who is rich, popular, and whoso digestion is unimpaired, has much to bo thankful for in every way. One fact only disturbed him. Mrs. O'Hara and Mr. Tredennick hated tho sight of each other. That they had remained for so many years under the same roof was evidence of the high regard in which they held their master. Dialogue such as this could often be heard, from tho kitchen: "Och, ye slimy hypocrite, it's tho Divil himself ye'r mother must have looked on before she gave birth to ye, the poor soul." Queries as to Mr. Tredennick's legitimacy were also frequent. He, debarred by his creed from any violent utterance, could only clamp his jaws tightly together and hiss; "Mrs. O'Hara, may the good Lord forgive you!" or "I pray that your soul may be rescued' from everlasting damnation."

Air this and more, radiating indirectly to Blair's ears, grieved him profoundly. But, like tho prudent man that he was, ho avoided being dragged into any controversy, hoping that time would assuage the ill-feeling between his retainers. ft . *>' * W *

One evening, however, matters came to .a head. , . It was six o'clock. Blair, returning from the city, let himself into the house. As he placed his hat, gloves, and umbrella upon tho hall table, ho noticed two letters, unstamped, lying apart from the rest of his mail. He picked them up and opened them. Their contents caused him to frown. Dear Sir, he read, / have packed my trank and am sorry I thall be leaving if Mr. Tredennick stay*. Yours faithfully, BRIDGET O'HARA (Mrs.).

The other: Dear Sir, In view of ihe spiritual persecution which I am undergoing through Mrs. O Hara, I regret that my service with you must terminate unless she herself resolves to seek another situation. • 'Yours respectfully, . ELI AS TREDENNICK.. (BJair decided that it was time for Wq to "interfere. Therefore, he made biVway down to the kitchen and tapped oq the door. "Come in." Blair entered. "Good evening, Mrs. 0 Hara, he said pleasantly. , Mrs. O'Hara was standing m tbe middle of th' 4 room. Her arms were folded across her capacious bosom, bhe looked Irish and full of %bt. "Where's Mr. Tredennick? asked O'Hara hesitated before replying. / - ~ "Och, he's gone," she "Oh," commented Blair. Where? "Ho didn't'say." 2 „ "Gone for good, do you mean r ventured-Blair.

"Yes sir." Blair noticed' a large trunk at the far end of the room. Mrs. 0 Hara followed the direction of his gaze. "Are you thinking of going, toor he asked. "No, sir. I'll bo unpacking again presently. It's the maids' day out. let them go together, so 111 be serving ye the dinner myself." . Blair nodded his head resignedly, and went out of the room. Tredennicli had left, after all these years. His fidelitv had not been proof against Mrs. O'Hara's assaults. How bitter, reflected Blair, was the tongue of a bitter woman. In- his study, the decanter or whisky and the ice stood in its customary place. Blair had time for two drinks before Mrs. O'Hara came in to tell him that 'pinner was ready. At the table, 'he missed Tredennick's presence, but, as if to compensate him, Mrs. O'Hara had so excelled herself that soon lie was thankful for not having lost both 'his treasures. She served him a cold consomme that melted between his lips; then, a fish whose name he did not know but so exquisite in, flavour that ho thought "Confound it, the a genius. Roast duckling followed with a delicate orange sauce. "I'll be laying out ye'r clothes for ye in the morning, sir," said Mrs. o*Sf<ira< "Don't bother. I'll manage." Blair was amiable, almost conciliatory. Mrs. O'Hara murmured something that sounded suspiciously like "Thank you, darlin'." After some luscious raspberries, she brought coffee such as she alone could make. "Will ye be requiring anything further?" she asked. _ Blair shook his head. "Good night to yo, sir, said Mrs. O'Hara. / < Blair looked up at her. Her eyes were tearful, her lips_ trembling. She turned and walked quickly out of the room. ' ,

This incident made a sharp impression on Blair's mind; Mrs. O'Hara had got rid of her enemy, so why should sne be weeping? The idea occurred to him that perhaps Khe and Tredennick had always quarrelled because they had been in love. In which event she might conceivably start to pine for him and go off, too. '' Panic seized Blair. If he lost Mrs. , O'Hara, then the very foundations of his lifo would be shaken. Nevertheless. because he loathed interference, it was nearly eleven o'clock before he innde the effort to "descend to the kitchen with the object of, having a heart-to-heart talk with -Mrs. O'Hara. The kitchen door had a panel of frosted glass ''above it. As Blair approached there seemed to be a glimmer of light shining through, but when he opened the door he was surprised to find the room in darkness, Switching on the light, he went to the door which communicated with the pantry; it was locked. He decided that it must have been the reflection of a street lamp, and, looking round, convinced himself that the room was empty. Ho noticed that Mrs. *o'Hnra's' trunk was still in its former position. He viewed it with dis- ' favour, for its presence suggested a , possible departure. But, to contradict this idea, a strap which had been fastened round it. was hanging loose. Blair approached and lifted the lid. For a moment he gazed down on the contents, then he let the lid fall; Mrs. / fi'Hara had not yet unpacked.

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His lips tightened. He went and rapped on the pantry door. "Mrs. O'Hara, are you there?" he cried. Silence.

Blair turned and walked out of the roam. When his footsteps had receded, there was a soft click and the pantry door opened. Mrs. O'Hara crept out. She went to the trunk and fastened the strap securely round it. Then, with a sigh, she sat down to await the dawn.

Blair passed a restless night. His sleep was broken by strange dreams, in which Mrs. O'Hara and Tredennick figured.

His heart beat violently as he entered the dining room. He would know in an instant if Mrs. O'Hara were still hero.

His heart steadied. There was the rack with its pieces of toast, not too thin and not too thick. There, under silver covers, lay incomparable kidneys, delectable rashers, some devilled wings of chicken. "Circol" exclaimed Blair under his breath.

Ho did justice to overy dish. Then, with a cigar between his lips, he strolled out of tho room. Mrs. O'Hara was waiting for him in the hall. She held out his umbrella, gloves and hat. "Will ye be dining at homo this evening?" she asked. Without pausing to consider whether he had other engagements, Blair answered "Yes." Then, as ho left the house and stepped into his car, he told himself that ho was enchanted, hypnotised.

At his offico he spent tho morning in a haze of thought. From time to timo lie reached for the telephone to call his home, and then, unresolved, drew back. Tho afternoon crept slowly by. At last, he was free. # * # * #

The hall clock was striking six as he entered. Immediately there was a scurry of feet from below. Blair stood still, listening. Alice, one of the maids, appeared at the head of the servants' stairs. She came hurrying toward him with a letter in her hand.

"From Mrs. O'Hara, sir," she paid. "Sho left in a taxi a few minutes ago —with her trunk."

Stricken, Blair tore open the envelope.

Dear Sir, ho, read, / Was in : the pantry last night when ye opened my trunk■ I beg pardon for not coming out, but it Was not convenient. Three months ago Mr. Tredennick and myself had an argument about God. For three months he didn't speak to me. Then, suddenly, he came out with: "Now, Mrs. O'Hara, ye remember that argument toe had three months ago?" Well, 1 didn't remember. I'd forgotten. But it riled me to think he'd been pondering on it all that while, the long-minded spalpeen that he Was. So we had a few words, and after We had written our letters to ye I hit him with a flat-iron which the Divil himself had placed near my hand. Like the gentleman that ye are, and with the great admiration that ye have for my cooking, ye would no doubt have said nothing about the body ye muj in the trunk last night. But the holy father in the church round the corner told me to give myself up. The maids asked uihat ye d have jot ye t dinner, but 1 answered thai ye Wouldn't eat the muck they'd be serving. Yours faithfully, BRIDGET O'HARA (Mrs.). •*» ■ • *

Blair turned away. Visions of a fat, greasy chop floated before his eyes. _ Mrs. O'Hara was right. This evening he would be dining out.