LOCAL GOSSIP

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXIV, Issue 22741, 29 May 1937, Page 4 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP

[ By MERCUTIO 1

A Fishy Story

A YOUNG nephew from tho country had arrived to stay for the holidays with his aunt in the city, and the aunt, wishing to please the child, asked what he would like for dinner. He promptly answered "Whitebait fritters." Whitebait being out of season, the aunt said nothing but did her best with batter, vermicelli and seasoning, producing tasty fritters that were greatly enjoyed. Some time later she met the boy's mother, and told her of the mild deception she had practised. The mother laughed; "You didn't fool Jimmy," she said. "When he got home he said 'Auntie Maud is clever. She can make whitebait fritters without any whitebait.' " Nearly As Bad

Tho talkative tradesmah arrived at the back door of a good customer and knocked briskly. Tho nominal head of the house, a mild little man, answered the door, and as he opened it a woman's voice, talking with all tho rapidity of an auctioneer, was clearly heard from inside. Tho talkative one grinned: "By Jove, can't that woman on the radio talk?" The henpecked husband permitted himself a faint smile: "We have no radio," he answered, "but my wife is on the telephone."

Another Injustice to Ireland It is only fair to presume that the late Fennimore Cooper turned vigorously, perhaps more than once, in his grave last week, when an enthusiastic reader was describing tho enjoyment of a book sho had not previously encountered. "It is a fine story," she told a friend, "called 'The Last of the Moynihans.' "

The First Royal Visit

Some interesting incidents of the visit to Auckland in 1809 of the Duke of Edinburgh —the first member of the Royal Family to come to New Zealand —have lately been related. There were more opportunities for surprises in those days. For instance the Duke, who commanded his own ship—the frigate Galatea —upset Auckland's calculations by arriving several days ahead of time-table. The Governor of the day, Sir George Ferguson J3owen, who was then visiting Sir George Grey at Kawau, had to be hastily summoned. The Galatea did not carry wireless equipment and as Kawau also was not "on the air" somebody had to get a hustle on all at once. Example o! Parliament The Auckland branch of the Farmers' Union seems to bid fair in one respect to become a rival to Parliament. Late on the afternoon of the last day of its conference it was found that 42 of the 88 remits on the order paper were still not dealt with. There was nothing for it but to take a leaf out of the big "talking shop" in Wellington and so these two and forty remits were tackled with unremitting haste and were all disposed of in 90 minutes. Parliament will have to look to its laurels. Still so far as passing Estimates are concerned it is yet supreme. Irr one session Public Workb votes totalling £2,433,745 were whisked through in Committee of Supply in 20 minutes after midnight by about a dozen members. Parliament sets a terrible example to all the smaller fry.

Auckland's First Mayor Although, as has been recalled, Mr. P. A. Philips, who became Mayor of Auckland just 66 years ago, was the first to hold that office under the Municipal Corporations Act, there was a Mayor and council of the city 20 years previously. On November 18, 1851, there was elected a Common Council of 14 members, one of whom, Mr. Arch. Clark, was selected as

Mayor. Tito corporation started off with a proml flourish of trumpets and at its first meeting, the day of which was proclaimed a public holiday, the oaths of office were by Chief Justice Martin. Somehow this council did not set the Waitemata Harbour or tho Ligar Canal 011 fire and it died of inanition at the close of its first term. Auckland then struggled along without a Mayor for 20 years. What's in a Game?

A message from Dunedin, published in the Herai-d last week, announced the selection of this year's New Zealand University Rugby football team. After a comment made by the selector, Mr. T. G. Hislop, on the number of blues which would be awarded, there appeared the following: "Questioned as to whether the team was selected for this purpose only, Mr. Hislop was, reticent, but he hinted at the possibility of a match being arranged." Mercutio wonders whether it is a case of "We don't want to play, but by Jingo,- if we dol"

Peculiarly Apt Five o'clock is a hungry hour, especially. to anyone astir in the morning. Perhaps that is why the British Broadcasting Corporation has entitled a series of talks, designed for transmission at this hour by the Daventry Empire short-wave station, "Food for Thought." A Photographer's Misfortune The position was perfect, the camera focussed. The amateur photographer took out his watch and proceeded to time the exposure in professional manner. The subject was the Auckland Harbour Board's Coronation illuminations. He opened the shutter and with his eye glued to his watch was oblivious of a small gathering which it would seem had never seen a night photograph being taken. There was a tittering from the watchers and it was not until ho went to close the shutter with time up that he was let into the joke. The building was now in darkness.

A Breach o 1 Unionism? In between the rumours of wars the cable correspondents have managed to keep us informed of the progress of a six-day bicycle race in Europe. It just goes to show how far unionism has progressed in this country —far ahead of Europe. Probably the competitors were quite willing to race for six days, evon if they had heard of the five-day week. But staunch unionists will be glad to hear that the job wasn't done without protest. According to reliable observers the riders have had a six-day "sitdown" on the race. Other Traffic Offenders Mr. Semple is not alone in hia traffic problems.. Even an ancient institution such as the Vatican can be troubled by a reckless cyclist just as the centurions of old were probably concerned with chariot drivers "drunk in charge." According to a paragraph which appeared recently in a New Zealand Catholic publication, a messengercyclist, on being called to account for ignoring traffic regulations inside the Papal domain, replied insultingly to the gendarme. The offender was brought before the Court, which imposed a fine of 4s 6d or 24 hours' imprisonment. Being short of cash the delinquent chose prison and thus gained the distinction of being the first occupier of the cell in the model prison built in Vatican City last year. Mr. Semple may or may not have read the paragraph, but it is understood that the Minister has no intention of reviving the Inquisition for offending motorists and bankers.