SUPERFLUOUS SIMMONS

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXXIII, Issue 22538, 1 October 1936, Page 19

SUPERFLUOUS SIMMONS

' BY BUENDON CLAHK

"A bore," thought Rod, leaning back ff jth a sigh, "is a person who persists jjj being pleasant -when everyone else to bo disagreeable." That definition was true on this occasion, at any rate. Here was Rod, fidget ting with annoyance, while the rather plump, red-faced tnan opposite held forth interminably on' the subject 0 f the new government. Rodney, at the moment, had not the slightest interest in any government; how could he, with the train whirling him swiftly home to Auckland for a fortnight's vacation, and a pretty girl sitting beside him? He didn't know her; but that was a misfortune which normally would have every prospect of beixitT remedied somewhere between Opua and Auckland.

When Rod had entered the carriage, the only vacant seats were those next to the girl and the man; but as the lattcr's bulk occupied most of his, Rod had felt that there was every excuse for taking the seat he preferred. The girl had given him the friendly smile of a fellow-traveller as he put his luggage on the rack, then she had turned her gaze toward the window. The plump man had greeted him with the nod of a slight acquaintance. What was the fellow's name, anyway? Rod thought jjard—Summers? Simpson ?—Simmons! That was it. " Some good country up this way," Simmons remarked. " No question the North is already beginning to justify the prediction of a great future. Now I know a chap who bought a few hundred acres up here twenty years Jt aco . . • ""You know the North well, then?" "I? No.! haven't been up this way for vears, until this trip. Suffering from ill-health. The doctor told me to trv the North for a while. Rheumatism. He said . . •" Rod fidgeted. The voice droned on. He glanced toward the window and caught the reflection of the girl's face. She was smiling slightly. ". , . Don't you agree with me?" Hod nodded absently. Agreement is nearly always safe. How to get rid of the fellow, that was the problem. If only he'd keep quiot for a while and give Rod a chance to talk to the girl beside him. But he chattered on and on. Couldn't have a thought without uttering it. Surprised ib should bo there, probably. " I expect, you have made this trip pretty often?" Rod nodded again. . "What time do w« arrive in Otiria?" " Pretty soon, I think. Getting off there?" " Oh, 110. Going right through. Beginning to feel a bit peckish, that's 111." Rod made little attempt to conceal his disappointment; but he brightened as he reflected that at Otiria he might be rid of the bore for a few minutes, it least. He saw means of extending .that period to the utmost. " You'll need to hurry at Otiria," he said, " if you want to eat. It's only a short minutes or so —and there's a terrific rush. It's wise to be ready to hop off th<> moment the train : stops." ' .'?c " Thanks, I shall. Will you be coming?" ff " I don't think to. I'm not hungry jet." . . ; |i, Simmons launched upon a detailed 'iesume of certain gastric troubles and onlarged upon the vitamin-contents of various foodstuffs. Rod listened with forced politeness, regaling himself occasionally with a glance- at—the girl's Tefkction invthe window. At. Otiria Simmons stopped in miasentence and made n dash for the door. * Rod grinned and turned to the girl. " May I get yo j something?" he •sked. She smiled bewitchingly. ; ; "No, thank you." ' "Are you quite sure? I was only strinning that chap, yoa know." "No—truly. I simply couldn't eat anything yet. I rarely do on a train." " Crowd, i:3n't there." Yes, do you think it will thin out later?" " Not likely. We're going the wrong way for that. I expect they'll put on more carriages. We'll be a pretty big train by the time we-get in." "To Auckland? I hope we shan't be ; delayed . . So she was going right through! That was comforting. How lovely she was. Would it be possible to see something of her in town? be wondered. When she laughed, she showed pearly little 'teeth. Perhaps she played golf. He'd ask her in a minute. It wai3 a thrill asking her questions, she had such an attractive way of turning those sparkling brown eyes full on him while he did so. . . \ Confound it, here was Simmons back already. H 4 carried a cup of tea and a plate of sandwiches, and nis appearance was somewhat dishevelled. " Beat 'em all!" he exdlaimed in triumph. " The biggest fight wag getting out again. Brought these for you, miss. Thought you might like a bite." The girl looked at him in some con- / fusion and smiled apologetically at Rod as she accepted the kindly offer. „ Rod felt annoyed, now, that he hadn't eot them for her himself, without asking. And he felt hungry. It had perhaps been an error in tactics. St>ll, fhe had broken the ice, and that was something. "I pity those poor waitresses," said Simmons. " Wondeir to ine how they keep going. Of courne, I suppose things are slack enough between trains. A young woman I know wast telling me . . •'* He was ofF again. His voice maintained a steady drone as monotonous as the pulsing of the wheels. Rod sighed, i'liere ought to .be a law against such creatures. The girl ate one sandwich and took a few sips of the tea. It was all she could manage. At every brief pause Rod tried tc continue his talk with her, but was instantly interrupted by a fat forefinger tapping; on his knee. He was rapidly approaching the stage when one ceases to be polite. 'lhe trouble was that Simmons meant so well. At length he drew forth an ancient pipe and began to fill it with almost black tobacco, talking as be watched his own busy' fingers, talking still between the/first voluminous puffs. His fellow-passengers were quickly enveloped in an evil-smelling blue mist. The g;irl coughed. Rod scowled. Tlje plump man took no notice whatever. Presently the girl coughed again. Rod turned to her, ignoring the flow of words. "Would you mind if I lit up»too? ' be asked, talking loudly to drown the other voice* . The girl looked lit hi in quickly, a hint oi disappointment in her eyes. Rod flickered one eyelid. "No—no. Of course not." Rod appeared to hesitate and then came to a decision. "On second thoughts, 1 don't think I shall. You look a trifle pale. Perhaps train journeys do not agree with you. The srnoko of a pipe would certainly upset you. After all, I can go to the platform if I wish to smoke." He glanced meaningly fit Simmons, who merely stared at him blankly, then leaned forward and offered hto pouch. '/, "Try some of mine," ho suggested. "That'll never worry the young lady. Quite a pleasent smell, you know Rod leaned back in despair and eyed the other coldly. "I think-1 shall bo ill myself soon, lie said "if you don t stop

A NEW ZEALAND STORY

(COPYMGIIT)

smoking that foul stufl. I hate to imagine how this young lady must feel."

Simmons turned to her app«alingly. "Does it really annoy you?" Perhaps it was the plaintive incredulity in his voice, or perhaps the recollection of his thoughtfulness at Otiria, that made tho'girl dissemble and reassure him. A less obtuse man would have read the truth in her hesitancy. But Simmons turned to Rod in triumph. "What did I toll you. Travelling evidently doesn't agree with you, young man. However, a little fresh air out on the platform will soon put you right. Too cold out there for me." inspiration came to Rod. This would shift the blighter: Rod and the girl sat with their backs to the engine; Simmons faced them. "Too cold for me, too," agreed Rod. "But it's stuffy in here. We'll soon fix that. He leaned over and pushed up the window. A chilly blast struck Simmons in the face and chest. He groaned and wrapped his coat tightly about him. Rod and his companion felt nothing but a cool, pleasant stirring of the air. "That's better," murmured Rod, and sat back to await events. Simmons bore tin discomfort for perhaps five minutes, which he spent trying to prove by argument the inofi'ensivenoss of his tobacco. Then ho capitulated—in his own fashion! , "Look here, this is too cold for me. My health won't stand it. If you must have the window open, then we'll change places." Rod felt an impulse to decline both alternatives, but he feared that such deliberate unfriendliness might not appeal to his companion. He made a wry grimace and pulled the window down. Foiled again I . . . Somewhere b'elow Maungaturoto Simmons, momentarily lost for a topic, glanced aloft and saw Rod's golf clubs in the rack. "I see you play golf," he offered tentatively. "A little. I'm only a beginner." "Great game. Play quite a lot myself. Had several good rounds in the last few davs with Higby. Know Clarence Higbv?" Rod nodded. Know Clarence Higby! The biggest golf-bore in the north! He chuckled as he pictured the two of them together. Presumably both talked and neither listened. He sat up suddenly. "Did you say you played with Higby?" "Yes. One of my oldest friends." "Don't you know he's on this train?" "That is news! I'll go and»have a chat with him. "You'll excuse me?" "Gladly," agreed Rod with ironic courtesy. "Considering you stayed here with me," said the girl impishly, "and never once looked out of the carriage window, I don't know how you managed to see Mr. Higby." "I didn't," Rod explained complacently. "But I am indebted to him all the same for another opportunity to talk to you." She laughed deliciouslv. "And I suppose I'm indebted to him also for a few moments' freedom from your friend's terribie pipe." "Don't call him my friend!" Rod groaned, and went on: "But touching the matter of golf, I meant to ask you if you play?" _ "I used to, a little, but —" The carriage door opened again. Mr. Simmons stoqd there beaming on them, and someone else stood just behind him. "What do you think," asked Mr. Simmons gleefully.' "Here's old Higgy been in the next carriage all this time and we didn't know! So I brought him in to occupy the spare seat." • * ♦ • •

It was not till they reached Helensville that Rod, wearied and almost defeated, succeeded at last with a coup d'etat which freed bim of both bores together,. It was so simple, after all. Mr. Higby said that Helensville had* grown into quite a big town. Mr. Simmons said he'd like to see it. Mr. Higby said that would necessitate leaving the station, and he wasn't sure how much time they'd have. Neither could remember what the guard had said. Mr. Simmons asked Rod. Rod recalled the time, doubled it, and added the number he first thought of. The result was, that when the train pulled out of Helensville station Rod caught an edifying glimpse of his erstwhile companions kicking up large clouds of Helensville dust. With a deep sigh of satisfaction he leaned back in his seat and prepared to devote himself without let or hindrance to his charming fellow-passenger. "You shouldn t- have done that," she reproached him; but her lips twitched at the corners, and there was a barely suppressed twinkle in her eyes. "We all make/ mistakes," he explained calmly. "Let us talk of more pleasant things." It was amazing how time flew under the spell of those bright eyes. She had a warm, rich voice, too, and a ready laugh. He quickly forgot his earlier trials and made the most of the present. If the train stopped here and there on its journey, if large families trooped through the carriage from time to time slamming doors, he did not notice them. The more pressing demands ot the guard could hardly be ignored; he met them, nevertheless, as in a dream. If only every day of his vacation could be like this! Well—why not? She had said she played golf a little. She was not a business girl, so presumably they could play together every day. . . . The two of them wandering alone over the wind-swept links . . . having afternoon teas together in the club tearooms, discussing each others' play . . . and in the evenings, perhaps, theatres, dances ... an alluring prospect!. "I hope you will be in Auckland for some time," ho began. "Two weeks, at any rate," she replied. "But why?" "You mentioned that you play golf:1 m very keen on it myself and the prospect of having to play alone isn't very thrilling. I wondered—l hoped—that perhaps you would coine round with me upon occasions." "Why, I'd love to—but — "Of course I know you must have lots of friends of your own; but still, if you could spare a day here and there —" , "As; a matter of fact, I haven t any golfing friends in Auckland just now. i know very few people there at all: but—" . , "Why then, perhaps you will be able to come with rne quite often?" "Eight minutes at Henderson for refreshments," said the guard.

"I'd just lovo to accept your invitation," the girl told Rod warmly, "but —l'm al'raid you don't understand— His heart sank. "You're not going to say 'No'?"

She drew off a glove. "You see," she exclaimed, "I am going to visit .someone in the hospital. He was injured on the links when n friend of his swung a club carelessly. The train jerked to a standstill. A taxi stood by the rear kerb of the platform. The girl placed her ringed finger on the window-ledge. "I'm afraid my husband will demand most of my time," she explained softly, nnd there was a far-away look in her eyes. . . . At that momsit the door burst open. Messrs. Simmons and Higby were dusty, dishevelled and somewhat purplish in complexion. s"See here, young man," Simmohs exploded, "wo want a word with you!"