COMPARISONS ARE ODIOUS

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXX, Issue 21640, 4 November 1933, Page 20

COMPARISONS ARE ODIOUS

BY FBANS H. B

Things -were approaching 3 crisis in the affair? of the '* Moratang: Times prietor. Richard Transome. No:, o: course, that sscb a thing was unique; one occurred, in fact, with rezularitv every v.x n~.or.ths. Bit tne present- occasion ■was notable :n tnat three P.N."s. each previously twice renewed, fell overdue in the arr.? wees. staff, rather unreasonably. after a trie: delay of only eight w«»>. eacn aemanued the wages cie to him. Oa top of th:s, ipon-ey ws.s comof firewood*. "a badly cured ham three sides of bacon. two sn-;ep. tnres sacks of pumpkins. four anci a ha;: doren eggs usa a tin of smcxy noney. containing "he of many tees sevrraliv declines to accent any or a., cf these thm.cs in whole or part settlement of wazes du?. So there was Richard Transome. sitting on the upturned box m his omce. be considered a.: avauaoie means There was a knocs at the street ledger in the dest>r-r3te searcn tor ready monev called absentivi " Come in'.'' Miss Maudie Nutsford turned the handle and entered the sanctum. She was nor beantinii: in fact ker best enemies and ner more canmd m-sriis -airreeu tnat she bore a ratner sm'ctii.g resemolance to a rat'-Dit. Anu, since it was her invariable custom to turns any and every conversation to examples cf something in which she and her family excelled all the rest of the world, her and all of the latter were of the candid type. •• I've come to settle our account/" she announced brightly. " Take this seat then, while we talk it over."' Dick said gloomily. Knowing Thomas Nutsford, the father, over several years, be didn't expert either cc-in or banknotes. Maudie sat down and glanced around the untidy rcotn that in some respects

resembled a general store. "" Are there pumpkins in tb.;>se SScks*" 6£QlllT€<l SZTZZZ-ZGTII-Z H6T display her new s.£o?s zo best advantage. - i Yes. tier? are. but I cat": do with sr." acre of them,*' Dick said apprehensively. ' " Oh. but tiej look wretched things compared with the ones we have crowing 3t our place."' Mandie skipped across and felt some of the specimens through the sack. They're not hall the size of oars." *• Perhaps not."' Dick admitted dejectedly. "Bat, jo*: see. I can't do with any more pumpkins. Or bacon either/'" he added as an afterthought. "If yon call that bacon " —Maudie eyed the three thick sides- standing on their ends at the inner side of the editorial table —well I don't. Mother finished caring some last- week that simply makes yours look unfit to eat. She got salt and the sugar rubbed in beautifully and tie shine she put on it after smoking, why—- • " I'm sorry, Man die. I can't do with any more/' Transome said firmly. " I'd like to. of course, but look how. it is." He brightened up. Perhaps your father could let me hare a young heifer or three cr four sheep. I could put those into the sale nest. week you see. But 1 simply can't do ■with any more dead stock" —he grinned—"like those lees." " Whatever are you talking about. Richard Transome?" Maalie demanded. "* I didn't come here to help you in the grocery business. What I want to do is" settle our account. Oh, I'm sorry. I've left it at home.'" 5 " Well I can tell you the amount.'" Dick rustled the pages of the ledger. " Three pounds, two and sixpence, two years for the paper and the fancy printing lor your sister's wealing isostils apo. r> • "AH right.*"' Maudie produced three crisp notes and a half-crown piece. *' Here's the money." '• But —but." Transome stuttered helplessly. " What the —I mean how—er—where did yoa get it?" It wasn't the mere, sight of the money, the first in a month, but the fact that old loci Nutsiord had it to s:>are that made the newspaper man forget his tact. By ail the rules of etiquette and tie laws of the game he should have pocketed the cash with the least possible delay and asked the giver to come and have a taste. Or no—that last- was only in the ritual of males. With ladies a cheerful replaced the liquid. To ask a girl where she cot her money was distinctly below the iigh standard of good taste that

ordinarily prevailed in Transome transact icns. However, Maudie was not- offended. In her twenty-five years many insists, coven and open, had been hurled a* her, but none had damaged her skin — which was not tender. The real fact of the case was that her belief in herself as a Sutsford and everything pertaining to the family wzs too strong to be affected by sheers or innuendoes. She simply could sot believe that lesser people could be anything but admiring. " Haven't you heard?"' she asked cheerfully. "My father was left 2 tnoissand pounds. His nncle was mayor of —I forget the name —but it's a to'wn :n S'ew South Wales bigger than any in New Zealand.'" " Sydney." Transome suggested with wasted sarcasm. " So, that's not it —some really important place—but the name doesn't matter. My great-uncle was Mayor of that, and when he died he left everything to dad." ""A thousand pounds. ehl"' Dick Transome scribbled out the receipt, but his thoughts strayed to promissory notes and demands for wages. What 5 he go:ng to do with ail that money?" oil. perhaps I can tell you. in confidence," Maudie smiled engagingly. Alter a]!. R'.chart! Transome. with his newspaper, was about the most-eligible bachelor in the district. With a paper behind one. too. it should be possible to convince the most sceptical of family superiority. " I)ad says that whoever marries me will get £SOO of uncle's money. Isn't that splendid?'' "Certainly i: is." Dick Transome spoke thickly. With £SOO the whole wer! I could be his. He could brine his paper out twseo a week, secure a share of rational advertising, win the 1 : est Parliamentary election hands 1 down. perhaps fnui a place in the Cabinet. Dick pulled himself sip sharply. In any case, he could clear ort those [ dashed P..Vs. pay up the overdue wages and buy some more type. He smiled hack at Maudie. There were lots ; worse than she was. if oniv vou could !

get used to her little ways. " That is splendid." Transom? repeated d'.a'v. his thoughts wavering brpaynient of press sm accounts. Look here. ' 1 rc.nsoir.c 'u.vie up h:s mind, " have veu told anvone else about :hi>-" " No!" Mauds? shook her head, til; her black " bob " stcv.i o::: >;tillv behind. •' You are the only ore —Dirk." " Well, don't *e'l anvone. * ■?\ vou Transonic passed over the reoeipt ar.d absent-mindedly scixed her har.d* " Xot for three or four days, arywr.y. I'd * l:ke to talk it over vr:th you. b :t i" terribly busy just no'-v." " Very wejl. Pick." She smiled a: Lira. and even amid his whirl of con- j

A NEW ZEALAND STORY {COPTRICSTJ

£icting thoughts Transome was conseious that there was an element c: . < proprietorship in her cheerful glance. "" Til say nothing—for three or four . : days. Then we can talk tiling, over. \ can t wet -Just like you said. Reaction, swift and terrible, fcllowel i Mandie's visit. Dick had danced with her often enough, had sometimes dir.e: * 01 breakfasting with her for ever in ' he surveyed it. By the time mid-day , drew near the man was frankly panic--trk-kea. Better, fee fe»t. -50 years cf ■ P.N.'s than a cycle of Cabinet rank ; with Mautiie at his elbow. In despair feverishly: -i Come at once. Need you j ford psvrr.en: to send this wire and > the necessary travelling expenses. i Three days later Alice Transome. { \ Dick's only sister, arrived in Mora- i ; tangt. Alice was plump and pleasant ' to took or.. She. too. was about 25 \ | years, bur. in contrast to Maudie. she • ! somehow, unobtrusively, she managed to i \ get a red deal of her own way. | - What's t the matter. Dickie j I Dick told her. Of the fact that he I i had .between £s?) and £7OO owing to | | ring pride of family and the £"SCO. a fool myself. Dies conclcdec. j | do ?'"

| "" About Maudie. c-f course.*' Tranf seme said desperately. " I can fix up f the other somehow. A'way? nave ceer. j | able :<•> —but I can't handle Maudie. s What can we do?" >t j | First of all, we can go heme." j Alice stoke with decision. " This rail- j J war station is a credit to the tow-, as | [l've read in your paper—but I'm \ \ I OOn'l ?T2!1! ZO 5.&87) in I j " Sorry.'eld gcr:.' 5 Dick called op j '( the ancient taxi, whose proprietor owed ; I him enough for a dozen fares. " We'll ■ 1 talk about i" over tea and eggs. I've a * lot cf eg~s and bacon at home, you \ •bo happy with her?" Alice asked at i " Xo." Di'-k grinned wanly. " I'm |! j positive. She's _ too darned eomnara- j i owns is superlative. I'd drown myself | | in a week." I '* Very well. then. And you think j! ; she will come to-morrow?" Alice lifted| j the four eggs from the boiling water j | i and sharply smote the top of each of 1 j them. " There's only one thing to do. jj j You'll have to go to V« with—let me j j Your vocal chords are badly strained: ;! ! you mustn't talk anain r'cr ct least a { j f month."' | "If yon think that will stop i ] Maudie." Transome objected miserably. " • you don't, know her. She generally J { keeps on till she sets what she wants. : ■ She'll do the talking for both of us ' and if I'm dumb she'll have me writi ing the answers." " We'll see if she can handle my only j ; and most fcolish brother Eke that." I j There was a glint of fire in the usually j i placid eyes of Alice. " You'll stay in I Alice had the front room passably

t respectable srhen nest afternoon there dorr. *" I'm Maudie N"t»forc.'' said the j radiant vision the verandah. J "" it. bed." Alice studied the j gay striping and the brilliant colours of the newcomer's dress and then the face above, and decided to commence the contest right away. " I'm his f sister, you know. He's in bed in the filthiest room you ever saw.'" "" My brother's " Maudie began eagerly. " Oh no. it isn't." Alice shook her I head sorrowfully. 14 His room is abso- f lately knee-deep in matches and ashes \ and old letters. Won't you come f " Laryngitis,' 7, Alice explained. "Net really serious of course, but he"?: ; always have attacks of it. He irritates i; his throat so. You never heard anyone j snore like he does." 1 _•* My father " Maudie began from force oi habit, but again Alice • cut. her short. Unless your father is a mixture of a fog-siren and a motor-horn. Dick . would deafen him in three minutes," : | Alice insisted. Si Why, when he was under £0 we bad to send him sway from home because the neighbours on each side complained."' "And that has given him l&rry—what's wrong with him? " Maudie asked nervously. " Partly." Alice leant close to her visitor and spoke confidentially. "And . partly the talking. You won't tell anyone, not anyone at all, will you, but • since he stood for Parliament. .Richard has taken to talking in his sleep. Don't tell me that your father dees that now. : will you. 15 " So. but mv mother " said Maudie. " Oh. but really, when you know, you'll say she's deaf and dumb beside Richard."' Alice declared earnestly. "As soon as the poor boy gets to sleep he starts on witn a politics! speeds ■ and keeps steadily on with it till mom- L ing. Sometimes he takes his own snoring for interjections and answers these at the top of his voice. First of all. • when I heard him I was frightened and after that I was simply maddened. Last night while I listened to his er.dcou'dn't help thinking I wouldn't be his wife for £SOOO a year. The poor thing will be driven crazy in a cay or I hope he'll be better soon." Maudie stood up tremulously. *" Oh 1 1 expect he'll be well enough in a few days." Alice answered cheerfully. " but the attacks will recur. The continuous talking and the other thinare bound to bring the trouble on j again." " Well. I muss be going." Maudie } moved to the door, pulling herself together with each step. By the time ■ she had reaches! the verandah she was determined that the family honour ; not be allowed to get away wsth : the sdea that the Nutsferd family wouldn't have sickness too. I have to go to the che:r.s>t's tor mother's— Does >he have it in midwinter? " * Alice asked interestedly. "AH the year round." Maudie declared. " You never saw anything like ■ it." And on that triumphant note she | -Next day Transome came home to « lunch with a snnle a yard wide and f bappinr-s exudmg from every pore. j" Cash is starting to roil in," he inter :ned has s:>ter with great gcv.J , humour. " i>vk i,i enough this morn- : ing to pay th» boys hail their wage-s. A ■ i the chemist. who owed rue just on "0. r.as promised to pay up next • w<vk." D'yon _ think will - " Alice in-jj 'W l'iv, yes. [ e\; t so." Dickie Tran<ome. she hardy bachelor, grinned u > iovfuilv. " \o - i see he's going to rearrv Mrudie right away. He brought in the ; engagement notice . . . Ihe jwr fe!- ; Sow has no sister you know."