LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXIX, Issue 21130, 12 March 1932, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

BY MERCUTIO,

If Auckland cliose to fall ill this week, [Auckland could have been well doctored. The cream of the medical profession has been assembled to talk of those gruesome but highly important tilings medical men do discuss when they foregather. Like everyone else, they love to talk shop, and when they meet in annual conference they have their opportunity. The only trouble is their shop rather strains the nerve of the layman who listens in when the guards are down. One medical man tells the story of his meeting, at a social gathering, a studious gentleman who was introduced to him as Dr. So and So. He immediately buttonholed his supposed colleague and embarked on a graphic and highly realistic description of a particularly gruesome operation in which he had been concerned that day—whether as a mere spectator, as accessory during the fact or as chief assassin is immaterial. What does matter is that he noticed his

victim growing greener and greener in complexion as the story proceeded. It was not until the session had been abruptly ended by the audience that the medico discovered bis new acquaintance was a doctor of music. When a real formal properly-constituted medical conference is assembled there should be no risk of similar regrettable incidents. For a doctor of any other vintage than of medicine would deserve all he got should ho venture to intrude. These gatherings are doubtless of great benefit to the profession, and through it, to the community. If so, participating earn the applause of the public. The busy man who leaves s flourishing practice to devote his time to conferences of this character takes a serious risk for the general good. If lie found on returning home that all his patients had gone and recovered in his absence, it would be a terrible thing.

What with the low prices for butter, cheese, meat and wool, and the argument over exchange rate, it has been proclaimed with unusual intensity lately that farming cannot be made to pay. The same tiring has been said very often before. The present is a time when it should lie unusually easy to believe the assertion. ]f the farmer sat back and refused to work, on the ground that he was getting nothing for his efforts, the average city dweller, reading of the prices that rule in the London market, would not dare to argue with him. Yet on the evidence of returns which, being official, cannot be be disputed, the farmer is working harder than ever—for nothing or next to it. Since it is a higher yield of butter-fat that gives the clue, somebody may object that the cow, not the farmer, is working harder; but then the cow cannot yield more without making more, labour in the recovery of her product. Nobody has yet succeeded in breeding one that produces the finished article ready for market as the hen does eggs. No, the farmer is doing more work for the greater supply of butter-fat for which he gets lower prices. To those accustomed to measure out their efforts to a nicetyfiraccordance' with the money reward, he must be an inexplicable creature this farmer. Ho actually seems to like work. But tho explanation is .simple. To the man with the true instinct for the soil in his bones, farming is not simply a means to a livelihood. It is a life in itself, and he must gfi on living it, no matter how small the reward. True, he is accustomed to call it a dog's life, and all the rest, but that makes no difference. He must go on living, and very fortunately for a countrydepending so mnch 011 the direct products of the soil, he does.

An account of an accident suffered by ft motor-lorrv the other day related that the side of the lorry, which was proceeding from Auckland to Cambridge, ivas torn out by the collision." All that remains to learn now is where the other fide of the lorry \va s going and what happened to it.

In contrast with its earliest days when meetings used to last for hours and hours, the Auckland Transport Board managed to get through the business presented to It* this week in a-quarter of an hour. If the short meeting is indicative of increased efficiency in and satisfaction with the services the board controls, the public can perhaps look forward to the day when it won't find it necessary to meet at all.

Une q»<ito ready to believe that the ravages of the white butterfly among the cabbages and turnips were serious (o producers; but until an official announcement showed (hat thc Government had secured a consignment of Apanteles glomeratus it was difficult to realise how serious, 'lo invite a chap with a name like that the Government must be in earnest. A white butterfly can be trusted v to go for its life when it sees an Apantele 5 glomerulus coming. Wouldn't you ? While most people know in a general * B y that it is now possible to ring up London and hold a telephone ■conversation, few have realised it as a practical proposition. There is a reason, of course, w hy those with friends or relatives on the other side of the world, whose voices they would rejoice lo hear, don't stroll to the telephone every evening or so and rj "g them up. Similarly while if is possible by boarding a steamer and remain'ig aboard to be in London in a few people who long to sen the great metropolis don't necessarily iifdulgc in a trip just because they want to go. And the stumbling block is the saine in both instances— money. The love of it may be the root of ;il| evil, but the want of it is the restraint put on many desires. It used to be said that talk is cheap, but when a brief conversation with London can cost £so—as the recent experience of an overseas visitor has shown—at least °ne wise saw is blown sky high by a modern instance.

Iliis year, like, other recent years, seems t<> have been a good one for those interesting insects which are commonly called locusts—apparently because they are cicadas. Even right in the city thev can be hard singing whole-heartedly, and low that street lighting is so good the c °nung of night does not necessarily silence them. Where there are trees and a Collection of powerful lights they sing find sing though every minute was full pf joy. Of course, it is not really singlr)g in the strict sense of the word. No yocal cnHs come into use. The noise ls produced by the legs or the wings or seme similar moving parts being rubbed together. To explain why the sound is jnade the. scientist usually falls back on 'us stock explanation, that it is to attract the other sex. This is the alleged motive pf much singing humans do; though to judge by some of the whispering baritones and crooning troubadours on the Jiiarket, some folks seem to think the ladies are very easily attracted. Anyway, 3t is just, as well to have an explanation the singing of the cicadas in Auckland. Otherwise one would be left wondering *hat on earth there is to sing about these days. ■