SCHOOLROOM GEMS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXVIII, Issue 20768, 10 January 1931, Page 3 (Supplement)

SCHOOLROOM GEMS.

MORE CHOICE "HOWLERS." NEW LIGHTS ON HISTORY.

Howlers are always received with amused thanks. " The Third Book of Howlers," by H. Cecil Hunt, has been published by The Bodlev Head, and follows up Mr. Hunt's " Howlers" and " Fresh Howlers." Here are some gems from the "Biblical" section:— What are the evils you promise to fight against in the Catechism ?—My godfathers and godmothers. Moses died before he reached Canada, but he saw it from a mountain. The essentials of a Sacrament are faith and repentance: hence it follows that matrimonv cannot be a Sacrament.

It is also interesting to learn that " Cardinal Wolsey invented motor-cars and then discovered underwear." Mr. Stanley Baldwin and his followers are treated unkindly by the following definition: "A Conservative is a kind of greenhouse where you look at the moon. Another boy wrote: " Many people say that Free trade is better than Perfection."

Other examples are:— Korke's Drift is one of the fences in the Grand National.

The prevailing religion of England :s hypocrisy. Henry VIII. 's popularity was shown by his title as Offender of the Faith.

A plagiarist is a writer of plays. A poet's swan song is his last gasp. Sins of omission are those we have forgotten to do. O.M. means on the make. Lots of politicians get these letters. The cotton industry is a trade which calls for little brains. It is, therefore, confined to Lancashire.