UNHAPPY MARRIAGES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXVI, Issue 20230, 15 April 1929, Page 12

UNHAPPY MARRIAGES.

Sir, —Our good and kind friend Major Annio Gordon's experiences of unhappy marriages are indeed most interesting, and I am afraid open a very wide question. Love, contentment, forbearance, are most essential for married life, I will admit: but as any sensible person knows, you can't live on sentiment alone; it takes money as well. For instance, you can't run a house, a shop or even a church without money. To begin with, we arc married in a church and cacli repeat vows, and I am sorry to say they are forgotten. Ono of the most important vows regarding goods are, "With all my worldly goods I theo endow." If this bo so why should trouble over money exist 1 Married peoplo should liavo half each of tho worldly goods at marriage. The trouble is tho Church vows and tho laws of tho land regarding marriage don't blend. What wo want is better or fairer marriage laws. If marriage is to bo regarded as a career, as our most worthy friend suggests, why don't men givo their wives regular weekly allowance or salary (whatever you like to call it), according to size of family, as an encouragement and reward for her duties ? A man goes to his daily work (ono job) and gets a salary, as a reward for his work. "Pay day" is always looked forward to. If a man had to work at all jobs, including minding babies, cooking, washing, ironing, sewing, and bo manageress all in one without a salary, wouldn't ho be discontented, too ? This unhappiness iu marriages is not all onesided. As you often hear said. "It takes two, etc." Mother Of Two.

Sir, —I have read with interest Major Annie Gordon's remarks in Thursday's Herald, and "Plain Jane's" letter in Friday's Herald, re unhappy marriages, and think that both are somewhat wide of the mark. I suggest that most unhappy marriages are caused through temperamental incompatabilitv. and the ignorance of those contemplating marriage of the natural laws that govern happiness in marriage. Like magnets repel, opposites attract. Tho same applies to humans. Two of the same temperament marry and are unhappy. Two of opposite temperaments conduce to happiness. I quite agree with "Plain Jane" that many people marry for a home, or social or material gain, often without love, but if they had a working knowledge of compatability they could guard against an unwise choice and let love play some small part. "Plain Jane" says, "If woman's economic position was such that sho could be satisfied to work and wait till tho right man came." But how is sho to recognise the right man if she has not some knowledge of tho underlying factors that make for a happy union ? Somo men are so subtle nowadays that a girl is often led to think sho has found Mr. Right, when afterwards he turns out to bo Mr. Wrong, while, with the necessary knowledge, sho could have known with a glance that he wasn't Mr. Eight. Sanguine