LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXV, Issue 19932, 28 April 1928, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

BX JJERCUXIO.

"Red roofs and white walls, and sonic 'classic architecture. lam going to see more of it." What tribute could have been more neatly and concisely expressed than this first impresison of Auckland by ■an American architect ? It is only to !bo hoped that, having made an appointment ivith himself to see more of Auckland, !l>o will not find it a disappointment. It is ■well that such things should sometimes be said by the newly-arrived visitor, in the flush of first enthusiasm inspired bv many days at sea, and thus of! his guarcf. It is well that Aucklanders should be stirred sometimes to forget the streets, and the tramcais that run through them, the rates and these who levy them, the necessaries of life and the prices charged for them, should give over grumbling about the petty details of life in Auckland, should remember that viewed from the right vantage point Auckland is a jewel of beauty. So it is, and you can argue your case for it without one single reference, to "last, loneliest, loveliest." It is perfectly true that having just passed through the rigours of a hard summer,, just facing what may easily be the rigours of a hard winter, Aucklanders may wish the unchanging season would cease to smile and change a little. A fixed grin grows very monotonous after a while. Aucklanders may even give up wondering mid their fern why men depart to seek the happy isles. But in their most discontented moments they ought to remember that, even though their own little patch of Auckland may depress them at 'times, Auckland, as a panorama from the 'sea, justifies the rhapsodies in which visiHors occasionally indulge.

The All Blacks, on their way to South 'Africa, are hoping to ackl one more to their long list of conquests. If they do it, where will they turn next ? It was Jim Jeffries, was it not, who, as heavyweight champion of the world, insisted on beating twice all those who tried to bar his way to the world title 1 Incredible it must seem to champions of to-day; but there was no cinema to act for 'n those days, and even a champion had! to do something in his spare time. Whether the stoiy is true or not, whether the champion's taste was questionable or not, the idea may be commended to the All Blacks if they return from South Africai with the head of a Springbok added to their other trophies. But before they reach that stage, there seems a chance to down another adversary. According; to an American paper, England recently scored a small triumph in the athletic world, for there was published a cablegram headed " British Rugby team defeats Iceland, 7to 6." Each individual All Black should note that item with epre, and ponder the sage advice, " Go north young man." There among the Icelanders, the geysers, the sagas and other strange botanical speciments, New Zealand may score another triumph, or suffer the defeat that must come some ■day—always provided South Africa does not supply it first. Under the shadows! cf Iceland's greeny mountains there should be fought the greatest Rugby battle of all time, with a wreath of Iceland poppies, all bright and glowing, to deck the victors. It is an appealing prospect, spoiled only by tin fact that England's defeat of Iceland was telegraphed from Dublin.

Commenting on a certain section of a certain Act, which aroused his ire completely, a magistrate said he supposed the legislature, in passing it, gave it some consideration. Optimist! The Legisture may have debated it, wrangled over it, denounced it and defended it, argued it, yawned over it, and perhaps given it up in despair. But the Legislature passed it, and, if it is really as bad as the magistrate implied, the legislators must have passed it without really considering it, or its effects. Because, when it comes down to the elements of things, the legislators of New Zealand are kindly, well-intentioned people, anxious to do the ■best for those they represent, and equally «nxious to retain the votes of those people so that they may continue for a further term to enjoy the title, honours, distinctions and emoluments of a Member of Parliament. For both reasons they "would, all of thein, be utterly averse to passing a really bad law. If, therefore, a section worthy of the magistrate's wholehearted condemnation has slipped through, it may be accepted unreservedly that it ■was one by inadvertence. It is true that if the legislators were so busy running up and down, hatching their little plots to confound their adversaries, watching to see that there was adequate provision on the Estimates for oil for the parish pump, that they failed to notice the inherent badness of a bad law, their constituents would have just, cause to complain. But constituents do not, as a rule, complain for such reasons, because, as a rule, they are totally unaware of the badness of the bad laws. They turn down their member for very different reasons, and so bad laws continue to slip through without adequato consideration.

The Mayor of Auckland was a member of the deputation introducing to the Prime Minister various remits passed by the recent Municipal Association Conference. One of them had to do with wandering stock. You may well wonder what possibility there is of Auckland City being concerned with wandering stock; but—remember the Civic Square.

A fossilised bone of unusual size, found fit Tolaga Bay, has aroused a gloat deal of curiosity in Gisborne, where everybody wants to know whose it is. It is. not the owner of the bone in the sense of inoveiible property that is to be determined, but the identity of the beast that grew it, and liept it covered with flesh a:s long as possible. Obviously part of an animal of great stature, it is conjecturally suggested that it is part of a whale long defunct. Quito a probable theory. Whales are notoriously tail, and when they lake their walks abroad they tower above all other creatures. Some whales, standing on their tails, are the tallest things known. Some tales, told about whales, are even taller still. But if tho original proprietor of the bono was not actually a whale, it should be possible to with Polonius, that it was very like a whale.

The Army, the Navy, and the Air Force have no New Zealand honey in their rations, and shotv no disposition to buy honey, New Zealand or otherwise, with the money issued for the purchase of extra rations. This is the melancholy story told by the chairman of tho Honey Export Control Board afLer a trip to England, during which ho tried to introduce New Zealand honey to the fighting forces of the Empire. It was not the sole purpose of his visit-; and just as well too, else he would have returned with failure written all over him. But while there ho thought he might try what could be done, only to find, as related, that honey makes absolutely no appeal to the soldier, the sailor, or the airman. The last named ought to have enough fellow-feeling for anything that flies to choose honey rather than jam, ■which has associations no higher than tho branches of the old plum tree; ration jam is not always credited with that much, as shown by the uncomplimentary remarks about turnips and pumpkins let- fall by many a disgruntled swaddy eyeing with extreme disfavour his daily issue of plum and apple. No such charges could be made about honey. It is not easily susceptible to fating, and, in addition, any that was sponsored by the Honey Export Control Board would have a reference better than testimonials from three clergymen and a banker. But the War oftic9 and the Lords of the Admiralty have been strangely unresponsive, though none of them, it is a safe bet. could answer the scriptural question, "What i:s sweeter than honey.?"