SHORT STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXIII, Issue 19215, 2 January 1926, Page 3 (Supplement)

SHORT STORIES.

A KNOTTY PROBLEM. j She was in search of information, and, I as she was pretty, her quest was not in j vain. " Captain," she said, " how fast j can your steamer go?" ."Well," replied , the man with ornate cap, " last night j we made about twenty knots." "Twenty knots!" she repeated, blankly. "And what Ad you do with them all?" The captain's face was one of those pic- | tures that tell a story, but he answered, ; promptly: "Threw them overboard."} "Oh, fancy that, now!" she said. " What a waste of time! 1 thought, you made the sailors untie them the next day!" ANOTHER SHERLOCK HOLMES! " I want same nico notepaper," said the pretty girl. The stationer brought J forth a box. " This is very nice," he ] said. " Yes, it is rather nice," agreed i the girl. " I'll have a. hundred sheets." i " And some envelopes to match?" "Yes, j please. Twenty-five." " And when does the wedding take ' place ?" inquired the stationer. The girl coloured. "Why!" she exclaimed. "Ah!" chuckled the stationer. "Do you think I haven't been in this business long enough to know that, when a young ! lady buys a h mdred sheets of paper and only twenty-five envelopes, there must be something in the wind?" " MORE HASTE " The new chauffeur was driving his master home from a dance. Faster and faster sped the magnificent car as they left the more crowded streets behind them, until at last a cold sweat broke over the master's brow. "Hi, Thompson!" he called. "Go steady! We,shall spend the night, in gaol if you don't!" But the chauffeur had no time for words. He merely shook his head, glanced at his petrol gauge, and sent the car surging forward faster still as he shouted: "We're still four miles from home, sir, and I've only enough petrol for three. Bui. if we hurry we may just do it!" A GOOD ANSWER. Rumour ran riot in the school. It was said that a government inspector would be coming down to examine the children or, the morrow. For once, rumour was correct, and th j following day brought the inspector along. He put the pupils through a . fairly stiff examination, in which they gave every satisfaction. Then he proceeded to ask a few general ques tions round the class. "Can you finish this proverb ?" he asked a diminutive youngster. " 'People who live in glass houses ' " Bewilderment; was expressed in the child's face, but after a short interval his answer was forthcoming. "People who live in glass houses," said he "can't 'ave a barf!' IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. A certain railway magnate was making inquiries with regard to acquiring a small bianch which belonged to a private company. "Now, as to the state of your track," he saicl to a director. "Is it well laid ?" "Sir," answered the other indignantly. "Ours is the safest line in the country. I may say that we have been running for 20 years and have never had a collision." "That's good!" exclaimed the big man. "And, what's more, sir," continued the other, "a collision would be impossible on our line." "How do you make that out?" was the surprised question. "I know that the latest automatic devices are good, but, v;ell—'impossible' is a big word!" "It may be," came the quick retort; "but it's literally true with us. Don't forget we've only one train!"