LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXII, Issue 19061, 4 July 1925, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

BY MKHCUTIO.

Apostrophising bis native land, Sir Walter Scott called it " Land of the mountain and tho flood." New Zealand is qualifying rapidly for the samo description. The mountains wo have always had with us, or at any rate the oldest inhabitant cannot remember a time when they were not. Tho floods are coming oftener and staying longer every year. If the seasons persist, in the characteristics they have shown of lafe, the floods will be growing into a permanent feature of the landscape. It may have been noticed, by the way, that just a.s tho populace, is becoming hardened to the sort of thing the skies emptied out dfiring the week, Mr. 8at,03 comes aiong with a comforting word. 'Next summer, he says, will probably be a b'-id one. lie might have let us get rid of the hard winter before promising a hard summer to follow. If it is not enough to bo handing out. this sort of weather a day-full at a. time, he must threaten a whole year of it. It is not his job to bo a little ray of sunshine personally, but seeing tho plentiful lack of ordinary sunshine, he might try a bit harder than lie does to make up tho deficiency. Incidentally Mr. Bates says the present, burst of weather is in accordance wit h long-distance forecasts. I hey are the sort it is safer to make from a long distance.

The passion for statistics grows. Engineers of various kinds talk about kilowatthours, cusecs, train-miles and so forth, b'.it now a bowling club has broken out with a tally of (lay-players to show the amount of uso made of its greens during a season. This is going too far. It destroys the, human character of the bowler altogether, reducing him to a mere cypher, which he isn't normally, by any manner of. means. Even when the Mount Eden Club was iu the middle of a hearty row about the combined hoarding and fence which still screens its rinks from the gaze of the vulgar, there was no estimate of the number ,»f foot £'s which the offending object represented. If ever there was a reason for such methods ot calculation, it was then; when it comes to making a tally of joyous hours spent "rolling 'em up" this dav-player business is altogether too mathematical to be tolerable.

The Auckland Harbour Board was guilty of something very like looking a gift-horse in the mouth when it refused tho nice tug it was offered by tho Admiralty through the Government. Anyway, it seems to have looked the gift-tug in the engine-room.

A description of the American fleet which will anchor in Auckland Harbour next month says this of the ship's crews:— "An overwhelming number of sailors are young men in their twenties, full of spirits." From prohibition America travelling on teetotal ships, and yet full of spirits! Dear" dear!

The members of the University Commission have noticed that there is no immediate prospect of New Zealand suffering a shortage of lawyers. Wonderful the perspicacity they show. Clue of them asked a witness how many lawyers New Zealand could absorb without suffering indigestion. At least if the second half of the question was not actually put it was certainly implied. But is that really the the question after all ? If lawyers continue to multiply at the progressive rate shown in recent years, it will have to be asked soon how many lawyers can absorb New Zealand. Talk about a country where the people live by taking in one another's washing: if this Dominion goes on as at presenc, the majority of the peopl« will live by doing one another's legal business.

After suffering for a long timo in silence, Mr. Lippincott has at last had something to 'Say in defence of tho University College tower. It is nothing new for a man to tell his critics they don't

know what they are talking about, but there is given to few the ability to word it quite so gently and tactfully as ho did. Ho said in effect that most of the adverse comment was passed because there had never been anything like the tower before. The critics have hardly had time to say "No, and may thero never be again." That will come, no doubt, judging by some of tho things that have already been said about it. But tho real weight of Mr. Lippincott's contention was that in architecture originality was discouraged and plagiarism praised. Leaving out the plagiarism p;»rt, architecture is not the only art where originality is not always welcomed, however much lip-service it may be given. Jerome K. Jerome once invented a little tale about, the critics who were always demanding originality. Every book, every picture, every statue, every product of the human inind or hand was condemned I because it conformed in shape and substance to what artists, writers, and other "workers had been producing for years. The critics even invaded the poultry yard and expressed extreme dissatisfaction because every egg they found was exactly like every other egg. .Finally, the people revolted, and declared in their fury that they were going to drown all the critics. "Down the critics?" said these gentlemen in horror. "We never heard of such a proposal." "Well," said the people, " you have alway ; been asking for something original. Now you've got it. Vou ought to be delighted." So they drowned them.

Thai workings of the Tongariro National Park Sports Club grow more and more mysterious. A little while ago it decided to spend a generous slice of its fund;, in buying and importing certain partridges. At orico it was pointed out that as shooting was forbidden within tbo boundaries of the park, it- was not much u.-o planting game birds there. Now, after agreeing to spend All a head buying some birds which are on sale at Calcutta, the club solemnly declares they will not be released in the park, and infers that they will be discouraged in every way from frequenting it. In fact they will be tieatod iust. like, the general public. Tho only possible explanation of this curious business is that the club has forgotten which acclimatisation society it is, and is <-alling itself tho National Park Sports Club until it remembers.

Professor Algie does not approve of a suggestion that all interests likely to be affected should be represented on the University Senate. That august, but somewhat humourless, body would, iri his opinion, become a sort of Noah's Ark, only more select, having only one of everything instead of two. Well, maybe. In that event, the combined Auckland members might represent the worm, which has not yet succeeded in turning, but has been doing its best for the past few years.

The Empire Producers' Association is a body handling interests so diverse and widely spread that its lightest word cannot be ignored even in so distant an outpost of the Empire as this Dominion. Its latest declaration ia that the apple producers of the Empire must be organised to prevent tho frittering away of money. That is very right and very sound. Tho apple producers money must not be frittered, even if their apples are. For frittered money is a grief and a shame, even if apple fritters are toothsome, grateful, Comforting and nourishing.