LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXI, Issue 18711, 17 May 1924, Page 19 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

'•■;.• . by MEacimo. : - •*; ; ••"- .s;; 'When a fleet of American warships • visited Auckland years ago, their stay in port was marked by a spell of August sunshine as remarkable as it was welcome. Fleet Week weather was almost proverbial until recollection began to fado For the British . Service Squalen's sojourn at Auckland the weather ,4 \n bo described as good without beri ; « u > tinguisned. There was mist, sunshine, cloud and ritin. But after all it was only right. The Americans were , strangers within our gates, or at the most very distant relations. The British sailors are our . folks. We had to turn on the very best •weather possible for the stranger guests. Our own people were provided with any sort we jolly well pleased. They shared just, the sort we had for ourselves.

The Navy does all things appropriately. When ships are open to receive visitors they say "*0 " by means 6f code flags. "And whssi' the visitors arrive their mouths open to say " 0!" in the good oldfashioned way. ■, , s ■

Introduction to the ancient Maori custom of the hongi, or nose-pressing, must have been one of the events of the navy men's visit to Whakarewarewa. That, and their effort:? to pronounce the name of the village at the first. attempt, will probably remain in their memories longer than anything else in the episode. It is remarked that greeting thus the younger and better-looking belles of the tribe, the gallant sailors found difficulty in registering on the correct target. Small blame to them too. Nelson once put his telescope to his blind eye.

• The Governor-General, before opening the new Prince's Wharf the other . day, confessed he did not know how it would be done Happily the problem was soon solved for His Excellency. The Harbour Board, however, is still wondering how one gets a railway laid to a •wharf, and no pressing of buttons or similar devices promise to be effectual.

" -There is one thing which will make vour visit here singular," said the chairman of the Bulls Town Board, welcoming naval visitors, " You will not find another -place named Bulls." Maybe not. Iwt had they strayed far enpugh afield in Southland they might have reached Gore, while no visit. to Auckland Is really complete without a trip to Kaukapakapa. .

One wonders whether those visitors to Auckland during this crowded week who were reduced to sleeping in the kitchen of a boarding house counted it as a hardship or not. If they did, if showed want of enterprise. Surely , they were in an excellent tactical position for making friends with the cook, and anybody who has lived in a boarding house knows what . that means.

. Mount Ellen has gone and r done.it tgain. When there -was trouble m that. borough ■ last year, ; Mercutio remarked that the number 13 -was prominent The*s were 13 members of the council, • including ? the Mayor. No. 13 loan was much in dispute. The ; engineer, -who was deep in the quarrels, had been in the borough s service 13 years. Finally, when the council t resigned almost in a body, nominations for the vacant places closed on September 13. Now, when there was a poll to decide whether Mount Eden should retain exclusive possession of its own rubbish tip, or pool it with those the city possesses,' they must needs hold it on May 13. It grows . more and more curious. Also, it) becomes a matter of greater diffi- ' culty, not . to say delicacy, to decide whether 13 is an unlucky number for Mount Eden or not-. : . 1

Taxation problems have been given much publicity during recent days owing • to the presence at Auckland of the Taxation Commission. /" It is an important • body, even if its doings attracted- rather less public attention than those of the British ■ Service Squadron. Mention 'ot taxation problems, however, serves to remind that jnst about new many . people have a little problem all their own in that department of life. It is a question of striking an adequate balance between honesty and policy, between dangerous reticence and expensive frankness. In other words, income tax returns must go in before many days tiro over.

The difference between mortgages and debentures was earnestly discussed by a witness who addressed the Taxation Commission. It is all right to tell people about' debentures. Hundreds have ne*er met one; but most i folks know about mortgages. One may . almost go so far as to 'say no home is complete without one these days.

There seems to be an explanation in a discussion at the Supreme Court this week of the apparent tendency of motorcars to hurl themselves against the buffers of safety zones. A professional driver stoutly maintained that cnauffeurs could pass within two or threo inches of another' vehicle moving in the same, direction/ It seems a fair inference from j this doctrine that a still closer margin j would be allowed in passing a Stationary object, such as a safety zone. _ But he admitl'ed the element of bad judgment, and since motorists notoriously underestimate their speed, as witness the evidence in any legal proceedings, it is highly probable that sometimes _ a driver 1.9 inches, even feet, out of 'his reckoning of a safety zone's position. His Honor the Judge promptly condemned ! she ' unsound doctrine of the "close shave, and, to correct the, false teaching, proposed the hanging of a few drivers. On the principle that deterrents are better than penalties it may be suggested that the lighting of tho safety zones should be so designed that the lamp and its standard ''.ill convey a broad hint' of resemblance to tl.e structure by which the judge s prescription would be applied. The lantern s bracket has already ■ some acquaintance with that grim function.

Is there anything more than coincidence ; in the fact that last Leap Year—l92o— record was established in marriages performed, and that already in this the next to fall, the figures make it appear probable that a new one will be accomplished ? Surely literal resort to the old privilege coming once every four years is not responsible. Yet what other explanation can there be' It is hard to Imagine the ladies taking their courage in . both hands and putting . the crucial question. Yet they may. Seldom is there ' any third party present ' on ; such delicate occasions, and neither of the . principals is likely to be too talkative about it if that is what happened. To the •brutally cynical, there" may occur another possibility. ' The almost-but-not-i ;; quite-willing young man may see his fate ahead and fort-stall it: on the principle^of }; / the-; reluctant bather who, , realising that i ! >. to® : is just about ,tor be % pushed ' in, dives.

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