THE POFFIN PICNIC.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LX, Issue 18577, 8 December 1923, Page 5 (Supplement)

THE POFFIN PICNIC.

BY J, SACKVILLE MARTIN.

(Copyright.) v

I. "My dear!" said Mrs. Poffin, over the breakfast table, " Do you know what day it will be on Tuesday next "Tuesday, I suppose,' replied Mr. Poffin absently, gulping a large portion of bacon and egg. " Don't be silly, dear," said his wife a triflo tartly. "Of course it will be Tuesday, but what else ?" "What else!" asked Mr. Poffin puzzled, " let me seethis is the 4th. It will be the 7th, August the 7th." ."Exactly!" said Mrs. Poffin, with something between a simper and a sigh. " The 7th of August—and what does the 7th of August convey to your mind?" " Well, at the moment, my dear— ing— except the 7th of August." "Nothing else?" asked Mrs. Poffin, pouting. She was a stout woman, well over middle age; and she ought to have known better than to pout. " I'm afraid I don't quite your meaning, my dear," - said Mr. Poffin apologetically. But—er—— me sec! —weren't we married somewhere about that date ? , " Somewhere about!" cried his wife reproachfully, " we were married exactly on that day!the 7th of August!ten years ago. And you said you'd never forget it.' ** "Well, my dear, I never have," answered Mr. Poffin a trifle testily. " I only want a little reminding, that's all. Of course, now you mention it, I remember it quite well," He took a gulp of his coffee and resumed the reading »f his paper. He was a small man, of a rather anxious, careworn appearance, with dark eyes and a thin-lipped mouth. His expression was testy. From a Welsh mother, he had inherited a somewhat excitable nature, and a nervous, unbalanced temperament, cn which his wife's rather sentimental disposition acted at times as a mustard plaster. By trade he was a grocer and kept a small shop in the lower town of Shrewsbury. Mrs., Poffin watched him with a growing sense of irritation. She felt that the subject she had broached was not being given the importance it deShe waited a little, hoping for something further. But at last, she was driven to speech. " Do put down your paper, Mr. Poffin," she said, " and listen to me." It's the tenth anniversary— arfd we ought to celebrate it. I think we ought to go somewhere and make a'day of it." Mr. Poffin put down the paper with a slight sigh. He had been busy with a Government debate, and found that his mind would not work along the new channels at once. Still he realized the reasonableness of the suggestion, and prepared to listen.

" Of course!" he said, 'of course! Certainly, my dear. Certainly picnic!" Yes— picnic— a sense!" replied his spouse. " But I don't mean just an afternoon jaunt. . We have been to most places round Shrewsbury. I'm tired of them. We ought to go soragwhera by train, and make a day of it* I must (hink it over and decide on a place." " What about the shop, fny dear?•' said Mr. Poffin tentatively, " groceries won't sell themselves." '"You can get that young man of Mr. Browns to see to.it," replied his wife. "He'll do it for once in st way. And I don't see why we shouldn't enjoy ourselves a . bit. Besides—it will remind us of old times." yes,", said Mr. Poffin, rising. " Yes ■ indeed—it will remind us. I will think it oyer. I daresay Brown will lend us his assistant for the day. I will let you know when I have thought of a place to wjiich we can go."' "We will both think it over!" cried Mrs. Poffin. " And we'll try to imagine that we are going on our honeymoon again." * • Mr. Poffin pursed his lips. • His imagination refused to carry him so far. .He' finished his breakfast and went'into the shop to begin the morning's -work, i 1 By lunch time he- I vrgs feeling ' In' a better ■ mood. Trade- 'had 1 been brisk, orders had come in, and the till, was full of loose- silver. He felt, al pence witfti the world, and had made up, his ; mind-to. th« proposed holiday., He said so much J to his wife. •••;.' '=•', t ''! '■ " Look you, Mary," he said, : " I have decided what we are to do apd ■ where we are to go. We 1 will go to ' Dolgelly. ! . You remember , we spent the first part 'of our honeymoon there. Yes, indeed! ' And wo will have a day on the hills and climb a little on Cader Idris—and it will be very pleasant." . • '<■ ' "No, 1 dear, I don't think so," replied, his wife. " You remember that ten years ago we didn't care for Dolgelly. We didn t stop there the whole time because we didn't like- it. So we will go on to Barmouth. You remember we spent the second part of our honeymoon there. And we will sit on the beach and have a nice sniff of the sea." " I think, my dear," said Mr. Poffin,' that Dolgelly will be better than Barmouth. We liked • it quite well enough. And I should have been quite content to stay there if you had been the same. We'll go to Dolgelly." • " We shall pass Dolgelly on the way, dear ( " replied his wife promptly, " but we'll go on to Barmouth." J All right!" said Mr. Poffin, irritably. "You can do as you like.. But for my part, I'm going to Dolgelly, or I'm not going at all." v . » ' And you can please .yourself, dear," answered Mrs.' Poffin, bridling. f< If you like to get out at Dolgelly, of course, you can do so. But for myself, I mean to go to Barmouth for the sake of old times and I'm going there." " You'll think better of it," said Mr. Poffin, reassuringly, " I know you'll think better of it as the time goes on. You'll see, we'll have a lovely time at Dolgelly." " It will be delightful at Barmouth, replied his wife. " I'm sure you will be reasonable when you have had time to think it over." Unfortunately, as the days passed, it became clear that neither Mr. nor Mrs. Poffin had become any more reasonable. In fact, a secret irritation hardened their hearts against' each other. Occasionally they alluded to the prospective celebration. -But as each assumed that the other was going to fall* in with his or her views, they did not get any further. They kept up the pretence until they were actually in the train and steaming out of Shrewsbury station. They had a carriage to themselves and sat facing each other, Mrs. Poffin with a sensational novel in her hand, Mr. Poffin with the morning paper, as unlike a couple prepared to celebrate the anniversary of their honeymoon as could well be imagined. .- "I think we'll lunch at the 'Caradoc.' " said Mr. Poffin, naming a hostelry at Dolgelly. " We stav p d there, if you remember, and we found it comfortable." " There isn't a ' Caradoc] at Barmouth, dear," replied his wife, amiably. " We'll go to the 'Beach.' " Mr. Poffin looked at her a moment, pursed his lips, and resumed his reading. The morning was bright, and the fields on either side of him looked fresh and green with the freshness of early springtime lather than of high summer. But Mr. Poffin did not see them. He was cursing the unreasonableness of women, and determining that on this occasion lie would be master, if on no other, Mrs; -1- offin noted the sunlight, but noted also that the clouds were gathering on the hill-tops to the west, and felt . that the day, was symbolic of the presept state of affairs rather than of the rosy flush of ten yeah

ago, when aho had been a bride. She felt aggrieved that Mr. Poffin should be so bent on spoiling the pleasure of thv day. Surely on such an anniversary the wife should be permitted to choose the venue. She resumed the reading of her novel, but with lit ule attention; and her feet tapped the floor with an ominous sound as of dis-" tant war-drums—the tom-toms of savage tribes. The savage in Mrs. Poffin was at the moment not very far from the surface. By the time the train reached Dolgelly, the promise of the morning had departed. The mist thickened on the slopes of the hills and the "bleak little town looked dreary and deserted. Mr. Poffin felt that nothing more uninviting could well be imagined. But he had made up his mind and prepared to adhere to his decision. . " We get out here dear," he said, rising. ■ ' " No we don't, love," replied his wife. •' This isn't Barmouth," "I'm not-going to Barmouth," said Mr. Poffin, angrily. " And I am," replied his wife, flaring up, " I'm going there for the day, and I shall come back by the last train. And if you don't care to come with me, air. Poffin, it's all right to me." "Very well then,'" said Mr. Poffin fiercely. " I hope you'll realise what you are doing. I hope too., you 11 realise 'in time the sort of man you have married. When I've made up my mind, I stick to it. Go to Barmouth by all means if you want to. I'm staying here. And if you are on the last train, I daresay you 11 see me." He stepped out. A moment later the engine gave a sharp whistle and the train steamed out of the station. Mr. Poffin stared after it until it was out of sight. Then he gazed at the mists on the hills. He sensed the fine drizzle of rain. Ai he was conscious that he felt tnco^?°? lonely. For half an hour he paraded tiie streets of the little grey town. He looked into the windows of little shops. He snected with particular care those of the local grocers and felt that nothing to learn in the way ™ ndo /' d 'Gradually the mists thickened, creeping down the sides of the hills and advancing upon him like the <?hosts of past errors. He thought of Mrs. Poffin, by now getting out at, Barmouth, and wondered why he had been such a fool as to have refused to accompany her. He even went as far as the station to find out whether there was another train. But there was none for two hours; and even had there been, his pride, secretly nourished, would not have permitted him to take it. He went back to the hotel, shivering a little, and ordered lunch. He sat alone at a small table in the dining room. There were but two or three people in it besides himself, and they were obviously wrapped up in their own depressing concerns. The place looked dreary and deserted. The waitressee moved about with a lack of 111 " terest in their work that exasperated him. He was irritated by the delay in bringing each course and yet at the same time, he was thankful for it, knowing that he was utterly at a loose end, once the meal was finished, and had no idea of what he was going to do with himself. • He had two glasses of beer at his • dinner - with a liquer brandy to. follow, and then went into the bar to sit over a whisky and soda. Sitting back on . a hard seat, his hat pulled over his eves and his barely tasted drink before him, ho looked so miserable an object that he aroused, the compassion of a stout, red-faced, commercial traveller, who reached a chair to the table at which he sat and entered into conversation. " Dismal place this!" he said. Mr. Poffin agreed. " You look as though you'd got the hump," said the traveller, who was not a can of any acute perception. •' Anything tne matter?" Mr. Poffin nodded. " Cough it up," said the traveller genially. "Trouble shared is trouble halved, you know., Finish that drink up and have one with me." " I'd rather not, if you don't mind," said Mr. Poffin miserably. " The fact is it's—it's tho anniversary of my wedding day." The deuce it is," said the traveller, staring at him. " And did it happen long ago?" " Ten years ago,", said Mr. Poffin. The traveller became egregiously tactful. "Lost your wife, I suppose?" he said. ."Well, well! We've all got to die some day." / ' " • .. • "You're quite mistaken," said Mr. Poffin tartly. "She isn't dead." • The traveller whistled. " And you wish she was!" he said, eyeing Mr Poffin with an air of knowing sagacity, Well, I m not the man to blame you. I daresay ray oid woman is' as good as they make , em on the whole, but she gives me the hump sometimes. But buck "up! Buck "up. Your old Dutch won't live for everand you're a young man yet." This should have been the time for Mr. Poffin to deny such an imputation indignantly. But he was too depressed. Women are trying at times," he said. " They are," agreed the .traveller. They want too much of • their , own way," said Mr. Poffin. Won't be happy till they get it, agreed his friend. " And I don't think it's good for them to have it,"- said Mr. Poffin. " Plays the very deuce with them,'' answered the traveller.,' " It's best to put your foot down." " That's what I think," said Mr. Poffin, (i and that's what I've been, doing,"- he added rather miserably.

" It doesn't seem to have agreed with you," said the traveller, gulping his whisky, and calling for another. "But keep on doing it! Just you 'keep on I It makes trouble at first but it comes out all right in the' end. By the way—where your little bit of trouble I mean, your missus?" " She's at Barmouth," said Mr. Poffin ruefully. "At Barmouth— you're at this place!" exclaimed the traveller, "and celebrating your anniversary! Why the dickens didn't you insist' on her coming with you?" " I did;" said Mr. Poffin, " and she wouldn't come!" , "Then why the dickens didn't you insist on going with her?" asked the traveller." - a Because I'd made up my mind that we were coming here," said Mr. Poffin, " and when I say a thing, I stick to it." " Quite right," said the traveller. "And have you parted with her for good, or do you calculate to se<s her again?" " Oh, she's going, to come back by the evening train," said Mr, Poffin bitterly, " and I suppose I shall meet her on it. We just came out for the day." " Well, if she was my little bit of jam." said the traveller, " I'd give her the blowing...up of her life. I'd let her have it hot and strong. I'd show her who was master when I met her. And if you II take my advice, you'll do the same. "I will," said Mr. Poffin, possibly because bv this time lie had finished his whisky. "" I see I have been—er—too lenient with her. I should never have allowed her to go as far as she has done. But when I see her I'll assert myself. You see if , I don't. "Where do you come from?" asked the traveller. " Shrewsbury." replied Mr. Poffin. We go back by the eight-thirty." '• I'm going that way myself," said the traveller. " I'll be at the station when the train comes in. You just pitch into her. Don't be afraid. I'll be there to give you my moral support. A man's a man all the world over, and every other man ought to support him. Suppose we go and knock the balls about a bit?" .They adjourned to the billiard room, and in that dim and cheerless apartment, played several games of billiards. Thus they wiled the time away while the rain drummed on. the glass skylight, and the mists crept closer about the windows They had one tr two ho' whiskies to cheer them up; and altogether, Mr.Poffin decided that he had never spent a more wretched afternoon in his life.

CHAPTER 11.

In the meantime, Mrs. Poffin had gone on to Barmouth. She sat in the compart- , ment, gazing at the * estuary winding • through wooded • hills to the se-3, with, eyes that were at first hot and aiigry, and later dimmed with the mist of tears. After all these years, and . after the wife she a been to himfor Mr. Poffin to have behaved as he had done ! It was shameful shameful! She recalled the day 10 years ago when she - had been a happy brida and , had looked at the same scenery. She had had no idea then that she was to come to this. When the train reached Barmouth, she got out and wandered miserably out of the station. The rain was not falling as it was in the hills behind her. but there was no sunlight and the place ■ looked cheerless and deserted. She felt she had no appetite for a meal, and wandered slowly and disconsolately in the direction of the shore. A cup of tea, pajtaken of in a small shop which advertised such refreshments, did something to cheer her, but its effect was merely temporary; and when she reached the beach, and looked across the semi-deserted stretch of sands, and saw the clouds lowering over ' the sea, and heard, the desolate cry of the gulls, she felt that the limit of endurance had been reached. Seating herself on a bench, she drew a handkerchief from her pocket, buried her face in it and howled miserably to her heart's content. An elderly woman who had been approaching the seat in an opposite direction, gazed at her distress, and being down beside her and patted her on. the shoulder. "In ' trouble, my dear?" she said sympathetically. Mrs. Poffii. redded between choking sobs. "There, there!" said the woman, looking at. her a little askance, "you've got to cheei up a bit." She glanced at Mrs. Poffin's left hand and was reassured .bv the sight of a thick, gold band. Thirl distress was at least respectable. "There's nothing so bad that it can't be. mended," she went on, patting Mrs. -Poffin upon the shoulder again. "Tell me what it is,dear? You'll perhaps feel better when you've told it." " It's only—" sobbed Mrs. Poflin. "it's only that ten years ago to-day I was married." "Dear, dear!" said the woman, "and your poor husband is dead? What did he die of?" "He's not dead!" paid Mrs. Poffin, staying her sobs, and sitting up and staring, he's alive!" "Brute!" said the woman, wrathfully, "Never mind, dear. Never mind! But perhaps she added, a shade more suspiciously, "it's a matter of divorce!" "Divorce! cried Mrs. Poffin, anger rousing her completely firom her distress. "Do I look like a woman that would be divorced?" "Certainly not, dearcertainly not!" 6aid the woman hastily, "but i'thought perhaps that he might have done something " • "He had better . not!" cried Mrs. Poffin, a ' monstrous suspicion rising in her mind. "He had much better not I Oh, I wonder what he's doing now?" "Ah, you may well!" said the woman, " I'm married, too. My husband "is a commercial traveller. He's a deal away from home. I wish I could say I trusted him. But thereif a woman's got ..the lord to trust to in this world, it's all she can expert You've got to take, men as you find them — only to trust them when you can find them. There's only one way—bef firm ! Never give way! See that you get your own way and makrt them understand that you're going to have it. That's the only way to manage them." "That's what I've been doing,'' confessed Mrs. Poffin. "Perhaps it would have been better if I hadn't." "Don't you believe it!" cried her newfound friend, "don't you believe, it! Give a man half a chance and he's certain to make a doormat of you. Where is your husband now?" "I left him at Dolgellv," said MV;;. . Pclfin tearfully. "I wanted him to coma on here and he wouldn't." • i ? . "Depend upon it he's up to something," said her friend eagerly, "when a man won't go with his wife, he's generally got some reason for it— not a very good one either. Why didn't you stay with him?" _ , "Because I said I was coming here," said Mrs. Poflin, "and I wouldn't, give ~, in." ' ".'. 'J'"']''

"Quite right, my dear! Quite right.! Never give in," answered her frieuci.' "Men pretend that, they like it, but thev don't really respect you for it. Besides v it isn't good for them. But to think " of his leaving you, and on the anniversary of your wedding day! He must have had some very particular- reason • for that. When do you expect to seehim again?'' "This • evening," replied Mrs. , Poffin. 'Tin going back hv the 8.10, and I daresay I shall meet "him at 8.30 tin the platform at . Dolgelly. We go home to Shrewsbury together." f , . "Well now, that's strange," said the woman, "I live near Shrewsbury myself. I'm going back ,by that train. • I'll go ' with you, raj, dear. And when we meet; .him, I'll «8e that you get . justice -.if I -V have to tell him what I think of him myself." Mrs. Poffin cheered up a trifle, and 1 .• ' after a little more conversation, • accepted the offer of another cup of tea, • They adjourned to the little shop, and had * one. Another and another followed, and what with tea and sympathy, she began, to feel partly hysterical, partly bloated, and wholly lachrymose, ft was a relief to her when she found it was time ,to K catch the train. Accompanied by her companion, she made her' way towards the station. . , - _ i-'.V-The train steamed noisily up . : thft . ; valley, and all the time Mrs.. Poflln'3 ;, v I friend (almost as noisily) adjured her to firmness and told her of many- husbands i , who had been brought to . a sense - of \. their own transgressions by. , similar methods;, Waiting 'on the platform at , . Dolgelly, Mr. Poffin stood morosely, sick and exhausted, rather tearful from . overindulgence in whisky - and kept to his ' purpose of mastery by the genial admonition* of- his boisterous friend: 'The commercial traveller was, by tjjis-.time in the noisy stage of bis potations, and the whole station, the town, And the surrounding : hills were witnesses to his determination % to be master in his own house and to see that Mr. Poffin was in . his. -s At length the train steamed in. It slowed and stepped, and Mr/?. Poffin accompanied by her friend, alighted from the carriage. About five paces, from her stood Mr. Poffin, accompanied by a redfaced ' man whom I 'she did not know. Husband and wife gazed at r each other and the speechless misery in their countenances was sufficient to convince them of their errors. . ~ " Oh Owen !" cried Mrs. Poffin with a gulp. " I've been so—soso miserable ! She burst into tears. "gQ have I, answered Mr. Pomn excitedly. " Mary, I've been making a fool of myself!" Me too!' ' cried Mrs. Poffin ungrammatically, " but I'll never, never do it again." . " Now's your chance! said the redfaced man in a stage aside. " Show her you're master! That's your sort P Ho guffawed loudly. . .' _ The woman accompanying Mrs. Poffin turned sharply at the sound of bis voice. "Oh it's you!'' she cried. It's you : is it?" I wonder at you! Now perhaps vou'll give an account of your doings I*' I " »D„ it— Eliza cried the red- ! faced man. He turned and bolted from the station, pursued by the woman. But Mr. and Mrs. Poffin took no heed. Locked in each other's arms they were conscious of nothing else; and it was only the rude admonition of a porter who asked them if they were going to keep the train waiting all night that released them from their embrace. They jumped into the carriage jus't in time. And as they sat opposite each other, penitent and ashamed, they eyed each other bashfully as tho train tore them toward their home. 41 Mary dear," said Mr. Poffin, '* wo mustn't let this happen again. Next year ' will be the eleventh anniversary of our wedding. We'll spend it at Barmouth." "No dearat Dolgelly,' J replied his wife, not to be outdone. " I'd rather it was Barmouth," said Mr. Poffin penitently. " I'd much prefer it at Dolgelly,** replied his wife. Just for a moment there was a pause. Then Mr. Poffin spoke. "If we go on like this, we'll start quarrelling again," he said. "We have a year to think it \ over. Let's drop it." ' v.^ i • . [IKE KOTO' 1 • ■ -'^p!