LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LX, Issue 18577, 8 December 1923, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

BY MERCTJTIO.

Who would be a Minister? Mr. Coates is fighting to make electricity cheap gad popular but at the same time payable. When he visits the Waikato farmers he is told that if it is to be popular it must fc 9 cheaper and apparently nobody except the Minister is supposed to worry if it is not payable. The idea that the Government is a sort of Santa Clans whc> comes, or ought to come, down the chimnev with presents is pretty hard to kill. That is the kind of tale 'that Ministers ][ke to spread around at election time. For their sins they have to fight it for tho following three years. Mr. Grates seems to do his share of the fighting. Mr. Masscy's welcome to Belfast was the occasion of a warm invitation to come again" some day. Sir James Craig, the Premier, said he hoped that, "if anything happened " to Mr. Massoy, Ulster would tempt him to become Prime Minister of Northern Ireland. This vac; reference to possibilities in Mr. Masscy's "future sounds ominous: the phrase somehow has got associated with funerals. But Mr. Massey at a luncheon would not be inclined to "view it so: and anyway he knows that Northern Ireland is not heaven, whatever the Free State may be. A committee of three—say Mr. Wilford, Mr. Holland, and "the man in the street" —night be chosen to interpret the mysterious savinc. But. whatever it may mean. Mr. Massey is not likely to want Sir .Tames Craig's job, even if Sir James js tired of it. lie knows too much about " the disthressful connthrv" to leave New Zealand permanently for any part of it. The Rev. H. Mason's appointment as a ci.non of St. Mary's Cathedral is a happy stroke, if a term moro suggestive of the knightly accolade than the bishop's blessing he permitted. Mr. Mason is more than a divine: he is a diviner. It was excellent reasoning to give him the apS ointment " on account of the good work one by hint in tho country." It is well known." As a hymn has it— Streams of mercy. nearer ceasing. Call for eongfl of loudest praise. His association with St. Mary's is excellent in every way, for is there not • already there a, canon with a deep interest In liquid refreshment? Mr. Mason's penchant for finding _ water will sorely strengthen prohibitionists' confidence in the cathedral clergy. At least, it will indicate an ecclesiastical determination, concerning State-controlled liqour, to put more water with it. So Ashi. rton is suffering from a dry Spell. Heigbo, the people's will must role! They voted themselves dry down there in 1902 and if only the wheat crops are suffering from parching nor'-wes'ars at this late date the natives have cause for! congratulation. As farmers are not back- j ward in advertising tb»ir woes, it may j be assumed that the baiiey grown by dis- j trict prohibitionistsfor pig feed, of, course—has come to no harm. It is r.trange, too, how every year when Canterbury wants to convince the innocent. North of a coming shortage of wheat or potatoes, it forgets its Progress League's paeans in praise of the climate, and exposes the horrors of its howling nor'westers. Those who arc inclined to regard the City Council's - proposals for the development cf the old market areas as unduly ambitious may be reassured by the reception given to the scheme by distant observers. As announced in Wellington the' scheme assumed a magnitude eclipsing even the council's visions. It was described as providing for "a new town hall containing four acres" with administrative buildings and art gallery in addition. , There are still some people in Wellington who are frankly jealous of Auckland. Their antipathy is more easily understood from this incident ■which suggests that they do not knowthat Auckland already has a town hall, and that they do not consider a building containing four acres as disproportionate to the city's majesty. The North Shore motor-busman who drove his conveyance through some unset cement-work in an attempt to t-ako a ehcrH rut should certainly be made an example of — concrete example, to bo exact, finch disregard of warning notices is all too common. Besides, good roads in these days are so rare that the destroyer of ever ec small a stretch of one should be severely punished. Breaking road metal at .Mount Eden, for eventual delivery to the Rangiriri road contractor, would meet this case best, perhaps. Scotsmen are the originators of most of the hard stories about themselves. One of tho race perpetrated a particularly pleasing specimen this week. A friend was consoling him on Lis wife's tendency to convulsions and asked him if she were subject to fits. "No, no," he replied with a twinkle. "The Scotch never fall down in fits. They might be robbed." The recent announcement of the establishment of a corset factory in Auckland id interesting, but not surprising. It is a natural development from the restoration of whaling in the waters of the Dominion's dependency. If it is found that the whales of the Ross Sea have bones but not whalebone, that need not embarrass the new industry. As in the case of whales, there are varieties of corsets deficient of whalebone. The dictum of the chairman of the Harbour Board that "we cannot provide a boat harbour in every bay of the Waitemata" is worthy of wider application. Deep water harbours cannot be provided in every bay and river in the Dominion, as tome people are trying to do. There is something humorous about pome of these efforts. Wanganui's jubilation and allJiight vigil, for instance, because a Medium-sized tramp had braved the bar and berthed successfully. Apparently there was no Royal Humane Society award availal 'e for the captains of the two vessels who recently gratified the residents of Wanganui, but the latter found other ways of rewarding the temerity of these iieep sea salts per medium of civic receptions and presentations. Simple folk arc making merry over the Hevonport boy who, after being knocked down by " ir.otor-car, was taken into a butcher's shop instead of to a doctor. What'» there to laugh at in that? It was just the sort of .mistake any one mieht snake in a time of excitement. The Auckland branch of the British Medical Association, with its fine sense of decorum, might do worse than rebuke the flippancy and explain to the unenlightened the points of resemblance that misled the well-meaning seeker of timely aid for the boy. The story of a trout-fishing competition r-eld ;n Tlawke's Bay relates that the result was judged on the weight of the fish. .1 Ins, no doubt, is meant as an explanation that the number taken was not the deciding far-tor. It is hardly necessary |o suggest that, the judges remained uninfluenced by what the fishermen said ivhr.ut the trout they caught, or those which just escaped. The fisherman's alleged habit of romancing about the fish fie caught, or almost caught, has become too proverbial for any protest against its justf-.e to pet a hearing. Probably it is founded on fact, but there is no real evidence that the fisherman is any worse t.iari any other type of sportsman. But lishmg is often a solitary occupation, and there is no check on the stones brought, back from lake and stream. Besides, m justice to the angler, it has to he remembered that clear water often acts as » magnifer. But the general attitude of tiie non-enthusiast was carght and crystallised by a, cynic who saw an acquaintance, » just returned- from a fishing expedition, tolling of his exploits, and indicating sizes *itn his hands. Breaking into the story, tue cynic said: "No matter how small he says that fish was, it was smaller than tie says ii was."