Santa Claus on New Zealand

New Zealand Herald, Volume LIX, Issue 18278, 20 December 1922, Page 6 (Supplement)

Santa Claus on New Zealand

P An Amusing Interview 5 j| By Noel Furness g

S T i s of no importance whatever bow it came about that I learned that Santa, Claus would be passing through this city; neither docs it matter much whence it was that I gleaned my information, sufficient it is that I was on the lookout for him one morning not more than a few weeks past. Not until long after the anticipated time was I rewarded by sight of the friend of my childhood. But when he did como there was no mistaking him; long, red cape trimmed with white fur, strange hood .of the same material and trimmings, and flowing, white beard-all were there. He looked as though he had just stepped from the cover of a Christmas card; at times I half expected to see- a flake! of snow fall from the folds of his garments. As you can well imagine, such a Polar-looking garb seemed most incongruous in tho streets of a semi-tropical city such as ours. But it only served to make me absolutely certain that this was my man.

I approached him—rather diffidently perhaps, for I am not used lo interviewing such a celebrated personage —and said politely, " Mr. Claus, I- presume?"

He turned round and regarded mo with that merry, benevolent look of his with which we are all so familiar. " Yes," he said, with a bow, " that is my name, or rather, as I prefer it, Santa Claus. You see that rather takes away from the German sound of the word. What may I do for you?"

Embc4dened by his gracious manner and air of one who is anxious to please, I said, " Well, sir, I would take it as a great honour if you would give me your opinion on certain subjects. To learn your ideas would be most interesting, not only to me, but also to the general public, of whom I am merely a servant."

" Certainly, sir. I will tell you whatever you wish to know. Fire ahead with your questions." Then, since I suppose i looked rather nonplussed at the use of slang by one so venerable, he continued, " You see, I have to mix with all classes in the pursurance of my duties, and naturally I get into slip-shod ways of speech."

When I recovered from my surprise, 1 started. "If it is not too personal a question, may I ask what circumsu uce brings you to our city?"

" Oh, that's no secret. I have Just been on a pleasure trip through those countries which surround the South Pole. The weather was very bracing, and I en-

joyed myself greatly. But, as my busy season is approaching, I had to cut my holiday short, and am at present on my way to Lapland, where I will procure a frejh team of reindeer."

" Thank you,"' I said. " But, if you nave come from the Antarctic, you have probably travelled throughout the length of New Zealand. If so, I should like to hear your impressions of our country. Perhnpj yon have spent only a few days here, but still that need not hamper you. Usually the shorter the stay, the more emphatic the opinions."

level as a trade mark. You have cowmercialised it, sir. I am confronted on every hand by bags of toys and sweetmeats exposed for sale with crude and none-too-flattering pictures of myself plastered on the outside of them. I n other cases. I have heard of enterprising fancy-goods merchants luring men to so disguise themselves as to deceive the children into believing that I am extending my patronage to their stores in particular. The disguise- supplied is verv often of a shoddy nature, and the man hired for the job is in no wise fitted to carry out my duties. Why should I be subjected to the ignominy of impersonation by people liable to bring disgrace on my name? Can you wonder. at my being annoyed at such happenings?" "No," I said, "but "hen, you see,.] doubt that anyone has ever thought of.it in that light before."

I got my note book ready, and prepared to take down the usual laudatory remarks, when, to my surprise, his merry old face clouded over, and his joviality turned to gloom. This time he spoke sadly. " Frankly, I :>m disappointed in it. Ot course this is nob my iirst visit to these shores by any means. I have come here regularly once a year as long as there have been any little white children to visit; but previously I have never stayed long enough to discover your national peculiarities. I had hoped that, living in such an isolated land, you would liavo been spared from the soul-stifling contamination of advancod civilisation."

I was mystified by_ tliis statement. "How do you mean, sir?" I asked. "I always thought that civilisation was a good and noble thing, and very beneticial to those whom it affects"

" That's tho very trouble," stormed Santa Claus, his benevolent old face now contorted with anger. " That's the very trouble. You moderns do not consider me at all. You think you can do without me. Some day you will discover your mistake. Your lack of consideration is sho\vn even in your legislation. Although thousands of acres of land have been set aside for the planting of pines, eucalypti and ether utilitarian trees, I have not heard of a single effort to afforest even as much as a rood with tho beautiful holly which, as everyone knows, is my favourite treo, and moreover, the one which is the best suited for providing decorations at the feast hell in my honour.

" That is so," lie aeroed, " but you must remember that civilisation often sacrifices so-called sentiment, to material progress. In this case I find that you, like most other nations, have seen fit to do away with the old-fashioned and roomy chimneys which I used to find so useful as a means of entrance and egress. Nowadays, in tne majority of cases chimneys are absolutely useless for such purposes, and indeed many houses have no chimney at all. How can a nation that so obviously discourages my visits hope to prosper?

" Further, I believe that you have followed the lead of the great"but decadent nations of the world in cheapening my name. You have swept away all the sacred traditions connected with it and instead, have put it on the same low

"Then thousands of pounds have been spent in efforts to acclimatise various varieties of animals—mainly in a base effort to pander to the brutal, so-called sporting instincts of your citizens—but absolutely no attempt has been made to intrVduoe the U<eindeer. If only thesa animals had. been established in this country, I would have been saved my long and arduous trip to Lapland. But that reminds me, I must be on my tray, or I will not "be back in time* to giro the children their accustomed Christmas treat. 1 must not keep them waiting. They, at least, never forget me."

At the 4hou£;ht uf the children, his f.-ice lost its gloominess, and he reassnmed his old, jovial manner. "Goodbye and don't forget to tell your countrymen what I have said."

"Good-bye," I answered, " Thank you very much for the interview. With the benevolent co-operation of the editor, I hopo to be able to ventilate your grievances, and 1 feel sure, sir, that nest time you honour this country with a visit, you will find things more to your liking."

Do you not think that the old gentleman has just grounds for complaint, and therefore should we not do our best to alter things to his satisfaction? I am certain ibat all, especially the children, will agree with me.