THE NEW ZEALAND GIRL.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LVI, Issue 17270, 20 September 1919, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE NEW ZEALAND GIRL.

A COMPARISON.

BY GUNNER.

Have our New Zealand friends lost the art of interest? The question is asked by many a returned soldier. For it seems that his own people are neither so bright in conversation nor so keen in interest as his English friends. Particularly does he notice the difference between the English and New Zealand girls. Whether the ever-changing impressions of humanity, the varied interests, and the sparkle "of London gaiety are essential factors to bright and eager discussion, he knows not; but he has a secret disappointment. Colonials, as a whole, have not learnt the art of conversation. From her school days onward the English girl learns the art of listening in that gratifying manner that leads the narrator to suppose that his story is of great interest and that his affairs are of vital importance. Of course, you may say that this attitude is merely satisfying the narrator's vanity. But vanity is scarcely the word. A soldier experiences so many now emotions, views so many wonderful sights, and notices such a great variety of strange customs that he becomes a recorder of impressions. He silently retains his thoughts and anticipates the hour when, with some interested friend, he will recall bygone memories and live over again past experiences. or c

Then the atmosphere will be right! For some of his deepest thoughts, sweetest memories, and secret hopes and fears are most intimately associated with his soul. And he feels however intimate his thoughts, the linener will not ridicule him, display but a passing interest in affairs which are dear to him, or retail his soul as gossip. And to be such a listener one needs a training and example which are seldom experienced outside England.

The Personal Touch. The English girl rapidly detects the affairs which are of primary interest to a man and immediately displays an intelligent interest in those things which claim her appreciation or sympathetic help. For instance, a pilot in the flying corps finds with pleasure that his companion is particularly interested in the latest aeroplane engine, his altitude record, his new " bus," or his squadron-bombing exploits, in fact all things dear to him as a pilot. These subjects are not strange to the girl, for, in all probability she has just heard from another friend of the latest make of engine, and, not content with a superficial knowledge, is conversant with the improvement on former models. At the mention of a distant country or a foreign port, the English girl is all attention. If a map is available, so much the better. Half-forgotten details are recalled to memory, and the soldier is pleased to recount his experiences or tell of the far clime.

Constant pertinent questions prove how keen is the interest maintained, and the narrate? of the episode is gratified by the appreciation of incidents, which created a vivid impression at the time. Hearts of Youth. • Hand in hand with interest we find a youthful heart, and therein lies one of the secrets of eternal youth. The French women 'are often credited with an irresponsible gaiety and a careless neglect of the deeper things of life. But this is incorrect. The French girl is adaptable to the moods of others. She is her husband's counsellor and comrade, and her children's guide and teacher, but when the scene changes she enters into the mans sport and pastime and gayer moods withvthe Best and eagerness of youth, while.4o-tha>|hildren she is a very dear playmate. IShe knows that youth and attractiveness depend so much upon keeping the heart young and not allowing the pursuits and pleasures of earlier days to altogether fade from the memory. -■ i i Bouquets of Praise.

I The English girl is not at all given to | keeping sweet ■ thoughts to herself. She does not believe in putting flowers on the graves of her friends; she gives the bouquets of praise while they are present to enjoy them, oo that a man comes in for just that appreciation of good work and praise of manly actions that is eagerly looked for by all. Not that a man seeks flattery. But to know that the audience realises to the full all that he has experienced, be it storm or sunshine, pain or pleasure, assures him that, in spite of secret doubts, the game was, after all, worth while. His emotions are familiar to the English girl, for she has been in the heart of the Empire, and the maelstrom of war. She has crouched in a shelter during the long anxious hoars of a night bombing raid! She has seen the wounded rushed straight from- France to the London station and marked their pitiable condition. She has heard, during the busy day and the long | lonely nights, the ceaseless sullen thunder 1 of the far-off guns that flash awful death i across the battlefields to those she loves j .and. prays for. She has experienced loneliness and homesickness while serving her country, and Has learned just what contributes to home, happiness, and a contented frame of mind. She has proved her independence, courage, and adaptability as a nurse, a motor-ambulance driver, a mechanic, or munitionette. But her temporary independence has not spoiled her feminine attractiveness. It has enhanced her charm. She is only too willing and happy to be the sweetly feminine companion that she knows the men look for and expect in those to whom they return.

Independence or Selfishness. The average New Zealand girl will listen patiently to a conversation, and probably express an opinion on the topic, but her attitude leaves a man in doubt as to whether she is interested or merely polite. She is rather proud of her " independence." Of course during the years the men have been away she has been busily employed in many "pursuits, exclusive of what were previously his and her own interests. But she ' will not revert to former conditions. Not that a man wants a clinging girl. But there is such a thine as independence, bordering so closely on selfishness, that the placing of a dividing line is a matter of difficulty. It is selfishness to expect to be always entertained. It is poor thanks to a man if, in return for an evening at a theatre or a dance, the girl will not even show her gratitude and pleasure by entertaining conversation. That is not independence. Tt is selfishness. To give just the look, word, and touch that will bring pleasure may be to our New Zealand girls a departure from their independence, but the little encouragement will be amplT- repaid by a happier understanding and a feeling' of satisfaction that is now missed bv the average returned soldier. ' R

The New Outlook. No one will doubt that manv difficulties present themselves to the returned soldier as he readjusts his mental attitude to the demands of civilian life. Too few people recognise that the dissatisfied and restless demeanour of the returned soldier is an unenviable, condition that must be tactfully dealt with and sympathetically understood. The doubts and misgivings of the soldier must he gradually replaced by confidence in his ability to succeed and apply himself to the task in hand. For a man needs to establish confidence in himself.. He knows that he is a good soldier, but, as a (rood citizen and successful civilian, he has not as yet proved himself, while the competition of the labour world has caused him to wonder if he is capable of succeeding now that, his powers have waned, and the idea of failure is very apt to cause many an anri ous moment.

It is by interest in his problems and assistance in his difficulties that friends may best enable him to shake off fits of depression, consequent upon war conditions, correct the perspective of distorted viewpoints, a.nd overcome the restless tendency which causes so much dissatisfaction among recently-discharged soldiers.