A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LIII, Issue 16366, 21 October 1916, Page 5 (Supplement)

A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

The only complaint a certain old soldier has against his landlady is that she " does herself well" on his provisions. One mornme before ho left for his work he carefully stamped his little stock of butter with one of his old regimental buttons, thinking to detect it if there had been ?.tampering in his absence. Later his landlady, rummaging in his cupboard, saw the trap, helped herself to the butter, and with .1 subtle smile stamped it again With & regimental button she happened to possess. On his return the lodger discovered the work of the spoiler, and summoned the landlady to his presence. . * er )' good, missus," he said, cynically, £ j '.?? the butter with a wave of the ; "and, "but you're not in the same reci,*MntaameJ"- 6

BEAT THEM. <» A paeiy of Anzaca were sunning them. selves one morning when a spirit of mischief, presumably, induced by the pre-.

sence of several British officers, led some veyed his mimics, and then said : " Look of the party to display coins in monocle here, you fellows; I'll bet there's not one manner. Just at that moment Lord among you who can do this." He then Howard do Walden, who has never, even spun the monocle in the air and caught in Gallipoli, been seen without his single it fairly and roundly in his right eye eyeglass, came along..' Jtto critically but. without touching it again w.ith hit hands.

SEVERE TRAINING. ♦ He had enlisted but had been turned down owing to the habit of looking into

the cup when it was yellow. Worried about it, he consulted a doctor. "Stop drinking," ordered the medicine man, curtly. " But, doctor," protested the would-be recruit, "I can't; I get so thirsty.'! "Then, whenever you feel

thirsty, eat an apple instead of drinking whisky." Ho paid his fee and departed. Later ok he was talking to a friend about it, and wound up with the comment, "Bally iot, I call it J I'ancy eating forty appKa a dayj"-