SHORT WAR STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LII, Issue 16098, 11 December 1915, Page 5 (Supplement)

SHORT WAR STORIES.

THE DISTANCE. A lance-corporal serving with the Army .Fay Corps in France writes :— "German wit isn't what you would call overbright. Their favourite quip is to ask our men, 'How far is it to Tipperary now?' Our chaps stood it for a long time, but now they liave a good answer, 'About half as far as to Calais." " NO WONDER ! Tommy Atkins is a humorist who can be grave and even grim when the need comes. He is no doubt grave and grim now, after a year of campaigning, and while lie can never lose the gift of laughter he can write home the sort of rebuke to which one officer not long ago gave expression concerning those who make light of our task, "If ever I come back,' 1 he wrote, "and anyone talks to me about the glory of war. I shall be exceedingly rude to him !" A DEED OF BRAVERY. They had been married three years, and the wife was continually shouting and nagging him, when he decided to enlist. After breakfast one morning he said to his wife, "I'll not hev' thee jawing to me any longer, I'll go an' 'list." "Tha. what," she replied, "thee go an' 'list. Why, mon, tha hasn't pluck of a mouse." " Well." he replied, " I don't know about pluck of a mouse, but Sam Spiffins said I'd pluck of a lion when I wed thee." FACING AN ARMY. Tales of British pluck in the navy and the army are for ever being told, but there is only one instance on record of a British soldier facing the fire of a whole army in order to save the lives of his companions. It was during the Indian Mutiny, when the relief of Lucknow was in full swing. j One of the native regiments, both loyal and zealous, was so carried away with excitement that the men more than obeyed orders, their impetuosity carrying them into a position where they were mistaken for the enemy. Immediately they became the centre of the fire of the whole of the British troops engaged there. Great numbers were killed, and the loyal natives seemed paralysed with fear and astonishment, as, of course, they could not realise what was happening." Private Howeil, however, instantly grasped the situation, and did a mad sprint until he got about 30 yards ahead of the natives, then calmly faced the British troops, while he signalled to them to stop firing with one hand, and waved his helmet on his musket with the other. Bullets fell thickly around him, and two actually cut the sleeve of his tunic. At last, one or two officers understood what lie meant, and the order to cease fire sounded. The daring deed had served its purpose. He had made himself a human target, and he received commission as reward. he received a commission as a reward.