SEA LAWYERS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LII, Issue 15849, 20 February 1915, Page 4 (Supplement)

SEA LAWYERS.

LOWER DECK AGITATORS. In the Nautical Magazine, John S. Margerison writes in an entertaining manner of the sea lawyer. On referring to my dictionary, he says, I find that an agitator is a " person who excites public attention," and this description exactly fits the naval sea lawyer. Their name is legion, and you will find one or more of the species in every ship that flies the White Ensign. They are generally well to the fore whenever a Special Commission is appointed to inquire into any question that affects the lower deck, and insist upon giving their evidence whether it has any bearing upon the subject under investigation or not.

As a case in. point, let me tell you a little story. A few years ago a committee was formed to inquire into the victualling of the fleets, and, as is always the case, men were - invited to come forward and state their views on the question of food. . Now in a certain naval barracks not one thousand miles from Portsmouth, there was a newly-joined second-class stoker, who thought that he had a grievance, and accordingly he sent in his name as a volunteer to give evidence before the Victualling Committee. On the day appointed he, along with several others, waited outside the room in which the inquiry was being held._ At last his name was called, and, cap in hand, he stepped forward through th« door. Now, in order to render the witnesses less self-conscious, the officers comprising the board were all clad in plain clothes, and the stoker, seeing what he contemptuously considered a crowd of " shore loafers" before him, grew somewhat bold.

" 'Tain't Feedin', it's Slavery." j "Well, my man," said the president of the committee — elderly and kindly rearsdmiral—" What have you to say on this question of feeding the navy?" " 'Tain't feedin'," replied the stoker, '' it's slavery. The committee . were astonished. This was certainly a novel opinion on.the food question. The president had another shot. "But what exactly is your conviction?" he asked. " Tell us what you think about the victualling arrangements in the navy?" The stoker shifted his cap from one hand to the other. " Ta-in't feedin'," he repeated, "it's slavery." The officers who formed the committee might • h%s<£pQssessed faces of bronze, for not a ghost smile was visible. For a moment" the president felt inclined to eive it up ;as a. had job, but being keen on conscientiously doing his duty, he determined on giving this important witness another chance. " I quite agree with you," he: said. "It is slavery, but what do you suggest we shou'.d do to make things better? Would you like more food or would you prefer a money allowance in lieu of more?" For a second or so the stokeT turned this speech over in his mind. He had a vague suspicion that these gentlemen were pulling his leg. At length he opened his lips, whilst the committee leant forward in their eagerness to catch the pearls of wisdom that fell from them. " 'Tain't feedin'," he said almost defiantly, "it's sla.very." And without another word he turned and left the room. Now that gentleman was only in the embryo stag© of his practice as a sea lawyer, but no doubt he is still somewhere airing his views on all questions under theg sun, to the infinite disgust of his shipmates. Almost every man in the navy hag a grievance of ibme kind. Another Kind of Sea Lawyer.

Then, of course, there are a few of the letter educated and more thoughtful of the men who might come under the heading of sea; lawyers, though they are very far from being unpopular or boring. There was once a sea lawyer of rather a peculiar kind in a certain ship. Now this chip , had a rather corrupt ship's corporal,, ■who used to allow men undergoing punishment to go 'on shore for the sum of. one shilling per night, paid 1 in advance. Our sea lawyer, having deep-rooted opinions on the subject of bribery and corruption, fell into his clutches one day, and getting punished rather severely, determined to be even with the cause of his downfall. He carefully chose a night when •he knew the commander to be on shore, and, paying his shilling, he himself pro» ceeded on night leave, and made his way to the vicinity of his commanding officer's home. He had not been waiting more than an hour when he met his commander. That officer was in plain clothes, and our hero took absolutely no notice of him, and did not even attempt a salute. " I say," said the commander running lifter him, " why don't you salute me?" " Don't know you," said the sailor. "You don't, eh?" said the commander. " But I think I know you. Didn't I give you ten days 10A a few days ago?" " Yes, sir," was the reply. The commander was somewhat taken aback by this frank avowal, and grew somewhat choleric. "Then why the devil are you shore?" Ill© roared.

" Please, sir," was the reply, " I tipped." The commander almost choked in his wrath. He sent for a patrol, and ordered them to take the man back to his ship, accompanying them himself. As soon as they arrived there he sent forward for the ship's corporal, and had him made a prisoner. The sailor, seeing that the game was in his hands, told the commander everything, with the result that his own puni.jfeiacaifc was cancelled, whilst the ship's corpora] reduced to the ranks for corruption. ~ 'ill i+s even a sea /awyer may have his uses, and the navy / will be all the better of a few more men of the thoughtful type in their fight for a decent life in return for the years they spend in their country's service.