SPOILING A KINDNESS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LII, Issue 15807, 2 January 1915, Page 5 (Supplement)

SPOILING A KINDNESS.

We all recognise the sort of person whose kindnesses have to be explained away in those condemnatory words: " She meant it kindly, you know." A young married -woman has her aged mother living with her. She is devoted to the dear old lady and seldom leaves her. One holiday, however, she consented, at her mother's fond entreaty, to go off for the day to the seaside with her husband. When they returned at night a friend was sitting with the invalid. She- turned at once to the young wife: " I thought your mother would be feeling so lonely with you away the whole day long, so I came over to keep her company." Now, it was very kind to leave her own work to spend the day with-her friend's invalid mother, but was it quite kind to say what she did when her friend returned from that day-trip ,to the sea, making the daughter feel she had failed in her filial duty?

Don't you think something like this would have been a more comtortabto speech? "Polly, dear, you never leave your mother alone to give any of us a chance; so when 1 heard you were off for a breath of the briny i just flew over to have a gossip. We've had such a lovely day, haven we 1 grannie?"

And the old i«dy would nod delightedly, while her daughter, who, during the day, perhaps, had been wondering anxiously whether the hours dragged for the dear invalid, would feel ner outing crowned with the final blessing. It isn't enough to think of a kind thing and do it. Go a step farther each time, and think of the kindest way of beinir kind. 6 The Knots in the Necklace. Another infallible way of spoiling a kindness is to' make it plain that vou leel it to be a duty. Dutiful-courtesy "is grateful to nobody. Loving service, prompted by kindly thought, k like a beautiful necklace of earning pearls. But directly it is made plain tuat duty is the sole inspiration it i*, as though the string upon which the pearls are threaded was disfigured with ugly knots separating the glistening gems. A husband who is tired out at the end of a long day at business, puts on his boots I again and goes out in the wet to brine home his wife, who has been spending the ' evening at a friend's house. When they are out in the street alone she takes his | arm beneath the sheltering umbrella. " Dear, it was good of you to come for i me in ail this wet when 1 know you were dog-tired." "1K was my duty as our husband, my I dear," was the worthy man's stolid reply; j and then he thought "her petulent because '■ she said a little crossly, " I could have j found my way alone quite well, thank you, and I had my cloak and goloshes." The Meanest of All. Some people have a mean trick of taking credit, now and again, for a courtesy that is, in reality, nothing of the sort. To try to get a reputation for courtesy on false pretences is the meanest way of "all. Here is a little tram-car episode which illustrates my meaning.

A man of ample build and surly visage sat unconcernedly reading his paper one wet day while several women stood, hanging on to the straps. He looked over the top of his paper now and again; it was evident that these swaying figures with their dripping umbrellas" annoyed him not a little.

At last, at one of the stopping-places, ho got up and, to the surprise of all near him, offered his seat to a lady. She had previously weighed him up, and was not, in consequence, eagerly waiting to take the proffered seat "Yes. ,sit down," he urged, with a quite Prime-Ministerial gesture; "I'm getting off here!" It would surely have been enough to vacate his seat without striving, thus late in the day, to lay claim to courtesy that too evidently was foreign to him. Not Allowed to Forget It. Cut the surest waj to nullify the effect ° f . a . hiudness is to keep reminding the recipient about it. conveving the feeling that you want to keep alive her, sense of obligation to you. Two girls were invited to an "At Home." One was about to refuse, because just at that time she hadn't a frock smart enough to grace the occasion, and she told her friend so. " Oh, that's all right, dear," the other remarked, " I've got mv summer rigout in good time this year—you can borrow one of mine."

The offer was accepted, but do you think that she was allowed once during that entire afternoon to forget she was in borrowed plumes a bit of it! The lender had a way of gazing in her direction axd i looking her up and down in a manner j which made her uncomfortable, to say the I least of it. Twice she managed to whis- ! per quite audibly, Really, dear, it's a J pity you can't wear my dresses always suit you much . better than your own !" And then as a parting shot: "Do be careful of it, won't you?change it as soon as you get in." Surelv it would have been more tactful and kind to help the wearer to forget it was not her own frock she was wearing!