LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIX, Issue 15169, 7 December 1912, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

♦ ; '- ~ ■;■ BY MERCUTIO. ••■ The hundreds of men who at the bidding ■'.'■• of the "leaders"heaven save the mark! .-of the Federation of Labour "downed tools" in the \fa,M mine, six months ago, and have ever sinco been secretly cursing their folly, if the truth were known, have now been told by the self-samo "leaders" " that the game is up, and that they had 'better take up their tools again if they are allowed the chance. Six months of idle- " ness, loss, and suffering, and this is the inglorious end of it all What hail become &'■ 0 t the brave words about stopping the wheels of industry, of paralysing. the ': twle ot the country, ot bringing I sapital to its knees, and Icaumg iaDour into a Promised Land? There -■ can Do no doubt that those words deluded many victims of the federation, and that they were credulously swallowed as the inspired gospel of a, new evangel. Ijka Beau Sea truit they have turneo to : gsnes aud bitterness. In tho vernacular,. they have proved to be, what every man of sense knew they were, simply clap-trap •I »nd flapdoodle, tho mere spume ana rot ; i' 0 demagogic terminology. The saddest feature 01 the wliolo wretched busimss is .v'" that so many allowed themselves to be I pooled to their own undoing by the IB stupid and violent counsels of tnose who 1 ■ pressed themselves able to guide them. I into an impossible Canaan. But if they V have learnt the lesson, however stern,, that ;■ : great social changes come from the gradual process of evolution, and are not to be ■ ; wrought in a day by the magic of a motion • moved by Mr. Jones and seconded by Mr. Smith and supported by Mr. Robinson, they will not have suffered in vain. > While on this subject, let mo say that while it is probable that we, in common % with the rest of the world, may be entering upon a prolonged era ot industrial 4 . troubles and unrest, 1 have no belief in the oft-predicted upheaval of Labour accompanied by social chaos. That is a bogey lor which, in my opinion, there is not an iota of justification. And for this reason : the great mass of mankind belong to' the > tame class, and have all the same charac- ;; teristics as the average man, that is to say, they *re sane, prudent and moderate. '?'• They are quick to distinguish between ' what is safe, just and expedient, and what is wild, unsound and dangerous. They (are at bottom constitutional and law-abid-M' iiig- They are reformers, not revolution- >. aries. They are opposed to all disorder | V and violence. Their symbol of public t? authority is the policeman, not - the red fe flag. They are patient and tolerant and ? alow to anger, but when the worst comes '*•■ to the worst, and any section attempts to %'■'. set itself above law and order, they will ,0;•.' stand no nonsense. They are>the real "-' masters of the situation; they are the true strength and safety of the State. And so ;i long as wo have this all-powerful class we ;!' can regard the turbulence of the few with pf, something like tho same feeling that we f. regard the wave which bespatters * with 5 foam the rock it cannot ;shake. ' The Remuera Road Board has acquired I an unenviable notoriety for muddleheaded- ': s cess and parochialism. Its administration f .'of the affairs of the district for some time ?;, "past has been characterised by stupidity | ■ olid ineptitude. But there is some prosify pect at last of reform. The new members |Sy who were elected on Wednesday are all |.progressives and Greater Aucklanders. S;.. There is every reason, therefore, forantici- >!'•• pating a salutary change not only in the administrative work of the Board but in f"; its attitude towards the important question of amalgamating with the city. The 'residents in the district are to be congratulated, on the improved outlook. '[ v The" Greater Auckland idea has taken ■.. tune to strike root in the public mind, but - ft 1 is a foregone conclusion now that we are ,*;on the eve of its realisation. According - to all appearances Parnell. is about to join ; the city. The terms held out by the ■Mayor of Auckland are so favourable and v satisfactory that the people of Parnell would be inconceivably foolish and short- , sighted if they did not take advantage of - .them. '. But I b?lieve there is no likelihood, of their deliberately shutting their f; ejss to tho chance that has presented f, itself. I am assured that the forthcoming ; poll will result in a large majority in favour of joining the city. The proclivity which pigs being driven V to market have for going every way but the right one is proverbial. An instance 6 ,of sn animal going astray not altogether : of its own volition occurred locally a fewdays ago (writes one of my correspondents). A farmer's wife, living not far from Auckland, happened to be interested in a suburban orphanage, and volunteered to collect » certain amount towards its funds. :'., Whether her friends were not so benevolently inclined as herself, or whether some other collector had been before her, does not appear, but she failed to realise toe sum she had pledged herself to collect, and determined to make up the deficiency herself. She happened to be forwarding a consignment of pigs to the market, and instructed the auctioneer to send the price of the largest pig to the orphanage in which she was interested. The auctioneer, however, misunderstood his instructions, and instead of forwarding the money for--1 • yarded the pig itself, and introduced a further complication by sending it to the wrong orphanage. A curions contretemps is the consequence. The lady finds herself in the position of having made a handsome donation to an orphanage in which she takes no particular interest, the auctioneer » wondering what his liability is for the blunder, and the orphanage which benefits • *?.• u itself tho Ticher by a fine fat pig, Which comes from what is probablv an-un-known source. 'A . Dear Mcrcutio.—Here's something to fj worry about. The advance sheets of our t ;.-; xcar Book state that the area of the North ; ; and is 44,673 square miles and the South Island 57,923. Twelve months ago the ■'•■ '■■' : J. 6 ?-.® oo avc the respective areas as »i!-i ? nd 525 ~are milc3 » so that . • Wbile the North Island has appropriated r W> square miles of territory during tho past year tho South Island has lost 602 ;Ware miles. I don't want to raise the ■i J. Aorta v. South" question, but this is .. »«iag past a joke!— Yours, S.J.A. * ■ :- I am told that our North Auckland * ">iii u •"J* 8 " who are not " Austrian*" at *u hut Oroatiaus and Dalmatians, are' boilL STt° Ver Wlth enthusiasm for tho Balkan ; Spates, and would volunteer en masse if turkey were as convenient as Dargaville. , : *ney are sending money to hclo tho founded, an -words of good cheer to help ne Miters, and aro generally feeling that ' IS- y £ f tho Sclav » beginning to dawn t£* a e . 6cema to bo litt!o love for th - Ustr °-C' ( ?nnan combination among 7m? ' Whlch PPoiw to suit the New • r? lanc ' sentiment very well for tho time £"!«' though that is only a happy accift», • If . Mr. Bonar Law's forecast that rm? la * w ' lU fcome <lav combine with Japan wmes true I am afraid that Sclavonic ferSonie? do very litt!o good t0 British est • various 'net-hods of exciting interor ,m A ° length of time a candle burns, r . in the number of peas in a bottle, ad- ' do Jy encourage skill in calculation but Pm a PP«r«ntly serve any useful purWonfiT ■ k Perhaps, no more useful purpose •fa 14 served if people were encouraged n,,~? oufc ho ' ,,r to calculate correctly the ■ """*?• of people in a crowd. Thcro is th« C 00m io i" improvement, however, in tj, vera ge capacity, for estimating a mul'iude At tho Agricultural Show last ■•'■'■' !£W two ladies on the Grand Stand BIW , dlscUssin g this matter. "There ■■•'"''•*; i be over a thousand people here," : S>J are d one of them, enthusiastically. : ai dear!" corrected the other; "there "?, « ltast fifty thousand." Whereupon ' .lord of creation with them, evidently a :: ? nsh Wd and so able to speak bluntly, ! "joghed aloud : "You're both out." ho 'i "iSWfoed ; " there are between eight and , «m 6 thousand.'" Just how he figured it ■■m I can't say; as a matter of fact there ?«,||g*f«'about 25,000. MS^ 1 ' "'*■■'