LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIX, Issue 14972, 20 April 1912, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

M,' * ■■ ■' BY MEKCCTIO. A STB.AKC,r.n arriving in Auckland might ;v^''be excused for believing that the city was "}£ ,%J in the throes of a great industrial disturb- " .f" | ance, and that its settlement depended on the, result of the in. iy oral election. For sonic- time past a mysterious placard, printed in red ink, lias stared us in the face from the city hoardings, exhorting ' r j' ' gjl and sundry to " vote for Hall Skelton ||'|f and tho strike is off?" What strike?. ;v Every schoolboy in Auckland knows that " 110 strike is on. How, then, can, a strike "'f .bo off if wo vote for "Hail Skelton"? i V® Whoever is responsible fcr tho red-ink ' placard must surely have a poor opinion of the intelligence of tho citizens if ho uvV supposed that it was likely to influence them iu their choice of a -Mayor. But , fortunately they have not yet, taken leave - - of their senses, nor do they hold the • !j iffi office of chief magistrate of the city so , j;'cheap that they are indifferent who occupies it. Sir. Varr has idled the position , for a term with dignity and credit to ; , himself "and tho city. He has proved ' ''himself a good and worthy Mayor. In / ' these circumstances he is not lively to be cast on ono side for a wholly untried man. A The common-sense of the community is 100 strong for that to happen. *

There is a healthy ring about tho dialvv% lenge to the world issued by the New Zea- " ' < \ land rangemakers to all and sundry to ' , i\omo and compete with them on tho New Zealand market. Imported ranges have now to pay a tariff of 2o per cent., but ,'-H tome and compete with them on Minister Zealand market. Imported ranges have now to pay a tariff of 26 per cent., but the rangemakers have told tho Minister for Customs that lie 'can wipe out the duty at his convenience and let all ranges A come to New Zealand free of.duty. Conm, sidering tho high rate of wages paid here, "(If , it is a credit to the New Zealand manufM facturers that they are able with contitlf fidence to invite competition from outside V'li on equal terras. I - | 'A perplexed benedict writes to mo seekJf: ing consolation. Ho tells a piteous tale, Hi "'Jiy .wife has become addicted," ho i|JSI writes, "to the beauty preservation craze. « It is not a sudden attack, but has come sjf on' gradually. . In the begining she was HI .satisfied, - with taking an afternoon' siesta ill® and with managing whit she was pleased fifM to call her wrinkles. (These, I may say, WMWI aro merely becoming lines drawn by tho 1 1 light pencil of laughter—induced by per- /*, feet contentment). At a later stage my , Rosalind turned her attention to her hair, }, j Crimping-irons and brilliantine became as 1 ii|h j necessary to her happiness as trouserv stretchers to my own. For hours she would Apply herself to 'manicuring, her hands, to darkening her brows, to eradieating her incipient moustache—that down of the poach of which so many poets have pung. ; And I said nothing. "

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, '' Had my .well-beloved only stopped at Mho methods of beauty culture I have '.• named, this, .my protest and appeal, might •/never have been, penned," continues ray , distressed correspondent. *• But, oh 1 4 Mcr- !} never ' there was penned," continues pass distressed correspondent. " But, oh! ' Mercutiq,' there was worso to follow. I pass oyer my feelings on the occasion when I I discovered my faithful spouse's features to Vbe smeared with base lartf. > Little it \ soothed mo to learn from her grease-disfig-j ured hps that its application nightly would j improve her complexion. I hasten to the /. climax. A few nights ago, on return- [ ing from the club, I entered a darkened I bedroom. -My wife bad retired. I glanced at her still form. To my horror I saw that a handkerchief was bound around her 1 head, passing beneath her jaw. At once it was, borne in upon me - that she— partner of my joys—was dead. Hardly, however, had my. shriek of agony aroused ' the neighbourhood and brought my family rushing pell-mell into the room than, with f a shock I find it hard to describe, I knew \ I was no My wife sat up; I pointed dumbly to the handkerchief in \ which her chin rested. She smiled, and / then, observing my piteous anxiety, ex- \ plained the wherefore of it all. Somebody ) had toM her that to cure her fulness be- ( neath the chin - she must sleep bound up • as I had found her. I am now awaiting 7 further developments, and my mood is ; one of deep dejection." ;

-1 Now that there is some prospect of reas eonable comments upon railway matters p > being attended to, 1 would suggest that A, attention might bo paid by some intelliM gent official to the' monstrous manner in ffc >'hick . advertisements are . encroaching upon our railway station.. Not only are ~ V tne names- of stations buried behind a |$Kr : mass of posters,' but advertisements imitating railway-office indicating signs 'are -being allowed-to, protrude from platform r walls, near doors and windows. For PariA i j. liament to vote money for picture-buying and to profess to favour scenic conservation while our railway stations are being not , only v disfigured bat made confusing i is as inconsistent as for a city to pretend enthusiasm for town-planning while similarly permitting the disfigurement of its , streets., , , . \

' ■ 'Talking of railway suggestions, another '■ 'is that the motor trains should be kept running as -long and as late as-suburban ' .Vjj offer. ; We heard a great deal of tlio cheapness of this class of train and '• of its fitness for suburban business, but under Mr. Millar's regime the motor trains *■} '—after proving a popular successspent , V' most of their time in the sheds. Only •■s-i „ after the Department was rudely - .awakened by the general- elections were they brought out for extra afternoon and \ • evening runs. Any private company would work them doable shifts, and make money out of them, but so far they have been largely used for talking about only.

Mr. John Bollard, M.P., tells a story » f|s! which should appeal to anti-militar-ists and shirkers of national defence. It . Xll .was in the days when Auckland was threatened with Maori raids, and a block- • }/./ house stood on the ridge which separates the Manukau from the Waitemata. Mr. Bollard and a party of armed settlers were in possession of the blockhouse, and their duty was to patrol the Mannkau front>'V( age night and day to prevent a canoe attack from, the north. One day, after the officer in charge of the blockhouse party • was giving his men a run just to see how ••(.'they .• could work, they came upon |#p an individual who had refused to take up arms for the defence of his country. When |H; this person saw the men doing a sprint S; ; i through the scrub he called out "What is the matterV" "Matter enough!" replied a wag, "with the Maoris landing in force." This was enough for the con- ; ;' scientious objector.. The way he footed it : through the manuka and across swamps i; : Was a sight to see, and the way he clung to the men with rifles for protection re- • joiced the hearts of thoso who despised 4-: ' ehirkers. When the objector to service • had been well winded by his rapid flight /■ and shaken by his fears he was subjected , to just about as much chaff and badinage . j '■ as rough-tongued men can give to those Who play the coward and will not take their part with the rest.

• J rt Apropos of tho "scorching" motorist of "M lyfcom V.-Q read, a new phase of .subject : is put to me by a medical correspondent. ■ S f^ cry frequently, lie points out, doctors Receive urgent calls, and whether it be Bight or day the professional instinct which is within them urges them to speed 'to i the "sick bed os on' the wings of the ; ; "wind. The motor-car is the doctor's swiftest means of locomotion, and he ' 'utilises it, without regard to speed limit ". regulations or anything else. Hi 3 haste fc, '■ or his sloth may mean tho difference between life and death. My correspondent \ Bu Sgests that members of his profession should be put upon the same footing as yi,;fithe fire-brigado and his .Majesty's mails. They might carry a conspicuous sign when travelling to an urgent case sign which ;1' 'Once scan by those in charge.of vehicular |p|y traffic, should be :as , effective in clearing the way as the screeching siren of tho | § , fjw-motor. ' There is something in the prof posal iwhen it comes to be looked into.' I Point it raises is whether the saving tof life is, or is rot, as important as the ■arnge of property or th© delivery of r.-.~ v-jelUn-.tq * mad train.. :.c.v;' iv'v—"