WOMAN'S WORLD.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLVIII, Issue 14808, 11 October 1911, Page 10

WOMAN'S WORLD.

THE HOUSEHOLD PURSE.

VALUE OP FIXED ALLOWANCES. It must be acknowledged that the money question is responsible for many of .the matrimonial troubles that arise. When two people marry with just enough to get along with, when care and thrift and strict economy are exercised, domestic discord is liable to occur when household expenditure exceeds income, as it is often apt to do. . ■ Youthful Ignorance. - : The average girl marries without that practical knowledge of housekeeping and household finance that is absolutely essential if she is to.be enabled to make a small income suffice in this somewhat extravagant age. With a lamentable ignorance of market prices, with no more knowledge of book-keeping than a child of ten, with more or less vague ideas as to the elastic possibilities of money, the young wife is fortunate indeed if she manages to steer the barque of matrimony clear of the rocks during the first six months. ■ The bill system is a bad one from every point of view. There are rich women who never have the satisfaction of handling money, and who are considered mean by other women because they have never sufficient ready cash to pay their share, and subscribe to the innumerable charities which the modern woman has to help. All their bills are met by the husband, who probably imagines that women are perfectly happy so long as they can buy whatever they want, and that they certainly do not need the ready cash that a man does. Such a husband cannot understand why a woman should want an "allowance," and would bo amazed if he could fathom his wife's resentment of his attitude towards the money Question. He lacks imagination to realise that every woman in the world hates to ask for money, or to have to require to " humour" a man when she wants a little more ready cash than usual. - - " .'•' V '"-''""''' '■

But if the bill system is, a bad one for the well-to-do woman, it is absolutely fatal where means are only moderate, and the family exchequer has to be carefully administered to keep things straight. Bills have a knack of mounting up when they are allowed to run for any time, and matrimonial troubles soon begin when the household money has to pay for food or clothes which have been bought weeks or months before. Every trustworthy woman ought to handle the money she spends in housekeeping affairs or personal expenses. There is far less chance of friction when the wife has a definite allowance, and when she knows exactly what she has to spend.

The Beginning of Quarrels. v Every married woman knows that household expenses vary a good deal from week to week, but if she has a regular allowance she can generally manage to deal with such fluctuations by exercising a little method. Otherwise, she has to go to her husband continually for money, and it takes a man with a very. equitable temper to meet frequent requests for extra money when he is tired out after a hard day's work. The continual 'necessity of asking for money every few days is a bad system, because, however careful 'the wife is to choose a good time, the inopportune moment is bound to arise * some time. 1 Men, even: the best of them, are occasionally fretful and irritable, and the wife ] who has no regular fixed sum for housekeeping has to risk a matrimonial reproach for extravagance some time or other. /The sensitive woman may suffer a good deal: if,: she has to ask and account for every shilling she spends, although, on the other hand, there is a good deal of foolish sentimentality over the question of money. : There are mean husbands and difficult husbands, it is true, but the average , man is not intentionally selfish, and would only too ready to j meet his wife's .;./ wishes with regard ;to j money arrangements if she would ;■ speak I openly to him of the matter. ,\The'." mis- j understood" wife who s harbours;/, resentment for years [ because she ■}, has no personal allowance that she can consider '.'■. her i very own, lacks tact, commonsense, J and humour, in that she will not talk to her husband as to her feelings on the matter, and ask him to > reorganise the financial arrangements of the home. - ' - ?

The money question is often an imaginary grievance with ; women. 'The average man would be only too ready to meet r his wife if i approached in the right ; way, and matrimonial troubles often arise for lack of a good, straight talk between \ husband- and wife, ;to clear the, atmosphere and provide a better understanding. ;

The Allowance Plan. The allowance plan undoubtedly ?is the best to follow.. Let the : wife reckon /up carefully what she • considers ■ necessary; per week for housekeeping expenses, and ask for a definite sum to cover these. If ready money payment is arranged, dt will go far to avoid debt, which r : brings untold misery and trouble in its train. €= Then it is better for the wife to have an allowance, however small, for. personal expenses. No n man would like, if the situation were reversed, to have to ask for his tobacco money, or coax his wife into a good temper when he wanted to buy a pair of gloves. -There are some men >.- who are so afraid of their wives being extravagant that they invariably pretend their income is ; about half what it actually is. But, on the other hand, many a man gets into money difficulties because he has never had the courage to tell his wife ho cannot continue to run his establishment on the same lines, and debts accumulate which could have • been easily avoided if the wife had known actually the state of the household finance. Perfect confidence must always exist with regard to money matters in the home if happiness is to be ensured. No wife worth the name desires to spend one penny more in household or personal expenses than her husband can afford. A trustworthy wife has a right to know to a shilling her husbands income and expenditure. Prom the very firs V young couple should definitely apportion their income and make up their minds to live well within it. The girl who studies a little book-keeping and the management of a household before silo marries, and who combines a knowledge of cooking with a practical understanding of marketing and choosing food, will Save many pounds of her housekeeping moneys a result. Looked at in the right way house-management and economising -are more interesting than any outside interest to the young wife. -""ereo,

RADIATE ; CHEERFULNESS. ■ Some people have \. a ■ wonderful faculty for radiating cheerfulness. Thev always look cheerful; not aggressively 7 blatantly, and optimistically 05 cheerfS but quietly radiant. They alwavs seem to say pleasant things they never rub one the wrong way. X a ruie, sS people, have no enemies; not because thev are feeble and lack personality, but be cause they ; cheer others, and so bring the amiability that is in everyone to the surface. Wherever they go they shed an atmosphere of happiness. • It is as though they had cultivated all that is good and beautiful in their own natures, and 'so had acquired the faculty of radiating sunshine.' V-'. '• '-, - rt " Sunshine radiators are badly needed in this world of ours, and .so alsoTre the women who keep young and look young simply because they are still ?£ terested in things, and so do not have time, to think too much about themselves.

THOUGHTS. A good many of us are fond of taking a positive stand m arguments about little things, as if our opinion could not possiblv be wrong. But . half /the" things we " know we guess'at, and 1 the other half somebody else has guessed at for us Elderly people look back on the friends relatives, and acquaintances of 30 40 or 50 years ago, and say :V There' are no friends like old friends.", It is natural for them to think; this - way, particularly when most of the old friends are buried, but the fact is that there are friends as true as ever. The world is progressing :in every way, and men and women are truer k and/^»ecwi»^a^/eyer.Ji£|Qte.

A CURE FOR "BLUES." A bright expression is the first thing toll ': cultivate, for the habit, of a worried ex- . pression depresses the mind. Many . women allow their mouths to sag at it's ".' corners, their whole expression to express ; despondency and hoplcesness. They £: feel depressed and miserable, and they This is , very bad for them in every If way. When you are depressed, stand in front of your glass and notice the effect a; of merely turning up, instead of down, |f the corners of the mouth. Turning them §§ up means that you will smile.. Immedi- f ately you feel less blue and more cheerful. There is a relationship between expression and feeling, and if £ou cultivate' certain expressions- you gradually acquire | the sentiments they express, and convey those sentiments to others. __ , \ .