THE ENTERTAINING ENGINEER

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLVI, Issue 14157, 4 September 1909, Page 5 (Supplement)

THE ENTERTAINING ENGINEER

" I don't believe a finer cowcumber was ever grow'd. I'm sure I never see one!" said Mrs. Gamp; and sol say that I don't believe a more entertaining volume of good tales and reminiscences than Mr. C. 0. Burge's "Adventures of a Civil Engineer" (Rivers) was ever -written. ''Fifty Years on Five Continents" is the sub-title of the book; and the author, with the gift of observation, the gift of humour, and. above all, with the gift of good-humour, tells us of things seen and heard in the Ireland of 1840, in the House of Commons of Palmereton, Gladstone, and Disraeli, in Egypt, in India, in South Africa, in Spain, in America, and in Australia. One does not review a book of this kind; it is simply necessary to place a few samples of the author's wares before the reader, trusting that he will appreciate the tales and buy the volume.

SOME IRISH STORIES. Here, then, are some Irish stories which are new, to me, at all events: — " When an express train at Broadstone station, Dublin, was about to bo started, a porter came along the platform shouting in stentorian accents: ' This train stops nowhere.' "'One man, enraged at what ho thought to be insufficient payment for the disturbance, as it was called, sought to create another sort of disturbance by preventing the entry of the navvies. He stood at a gap in his boundary fence, defying them and flourishing a reaping-hook in his uplifted hand, crying out: 'The first man of ye that inters here, 1 will give him the contints of til is.'

"A fellow-countryman was hurt in a collision. He claimed arid got compensation for not only himself but his wife, who had not been injured by the accident. 'An' how did ye. manage it'.'' said a friend. 'Shore, an' hadn't I the prisence of mind to fetch her one on the head before they dragged us out?' was the reply." THE DEVONSHIRE DEVIL. Mr. Burge tells a very odd and unaccountable story about Devonshire. Somewhere in the forties there was a heavy fall of snow in Devonshire, and one morning itwas found that a two-legged, hoofed creature, taking strides of from 12ft to 14ft, had crossed ''from sea to sea." And this being apparently went right through "bouses, barns, or other large obstructions, the snow being entirely untouched all round them." By way of contrast to this gruesome legend, here is a letter in " native" English : — "Respectable Sir, —My wife runs, off yesterday with Chinnaeawmy Naidoo. My God ! how annoying ! Therefore, respectable sir, will please apologise to me for not resorting to office this morning, for I go to apprehend this detestable individual." And here is a good thing from the world of Australian politics of some years ago. A Minister for Public Instruction" was visiting a country school, and the master happened to have his hand on a rather high desk, while saying to the Minister, "1 think. Mr. J , that the curriculum is rather high." The Minister replied: "And why the devil don't you get a saw to cut the legs shorter'/''