NEW ZEALAND EXHIBITION.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 13326, 5 November 1906, Page 5

NEW ZEALAND EXHIBITION.

WHAT IS TO BE SEEN AND WHAT IT COSTS. AN IMAGINARY TOUR. [FROM OCR OWN REPORTERS.] Christchcrch, Saturday. Thrkk questions may suggest themselves to Atuklanders contemplating visiting the Exhibition, namely: How much will it cost to get to Christchurch? How much will it cost to see the Exhibition? and How long will it take to do the show? With regard to the first question, it will depend upon which class .the visitor travels, first , or second, and to some extent the rout* he takes, whether by the West Coast or by the East. The rail and steamer fares, and sundry disbursements, such as tips, cabs, porters, meals on train, etc., by the West Coast, from 'Auckland to Lyttelton (all first class return), will run into at least £8. Hotel expenses may be anything from 10s to £1 a day. or even more. One feels with regard to Christchurch ruling prices for all commodities that the good people of this city who are engaged in catering and kindred industries thoroughly appreciate and do faithfully practise the motto of " Make hay while the sun shines." There, seems to be an impression abroad here that if any money at all is to be made out of the Exhibition it must be made between the opening and the last day of the New Year week. . , . , COMMENCING THE TOUR.' '■■■ < ' Supposing one wishes to spend a day at the Exhibition, and not to be particular about spending a shilling or two on the many side shows which cluster around all exhibitions—almost obscuring their real purpose. Well, such a visitor must take a groat deal more small change with him than will be required for bis mere admission to the main building and grounds. Having entered by the main gate, and so directly into the building under the grand entrance, the first thing that meets his eye will be a row of chairs, also a small boy sitting in a bath-chair. . If the visitor wishes to. sit down here, so that, without.the fatigue of standing and gazing, he may take in the long vistas on right and left of stall upon stall, case upon case, altogether resembling narrow city streets with a very much broken skyline, and if he wishes to contemplate the grand proportions of the dome, and to do so while sitting, he will certainly have to pay 3d for a chair. Perhaps he would rather be wheeled around the avenues. In that case, he will seat himself in the invalid-chair, and at the rate of 2s an hour, or fraction of an hour/he may be trundled through all the courts and avenues, and see something of them, but necessarily not much of anything. It is, indeed, conceivable that after a wheeling tour of this sort one would return to his starting point with his brain whirl, and ideas all awry, the nail-making process being jumbled up with the manufacture of candy floss, the weaving of a blanket, confused with the incubator of India runner ducks, and the shearing of sheep inseparable from the working of a Westinghouse brake. Of course the proper way to do the Exhibition would be to take the feature that interested "one most, and study it well. Then a clear idea of something would be obtained, but it is no exaggeration say that there are many features there that would requite a full day to themselves. The British Art Gallery, for instance, : could well absorb a whole morning, and the rest of the day could be put in with the exhibits of colonial art. Then there would be the a"Hs and crafts, to study, and in this connection it may be stated that the colony as a whole makes a very fair show, but unfortunately it is scattered all over the Exhibition. In the homo industries section there is some really very fine handiwork from . the , art schools of the four centres, but this in passing. A shilling is charged for admission to the art gallery on certain days, and. supposing the Auckland visitor goes on one of these- days, then his outlay so far will be 26. West's Pictures have a castellated building close by the art gallery, and if this entertainment is to b« enjoyed it will cost another shilling. Afterwards the visitor may feel like lunch, which will cost him 2s. So far he lias disbursed ss. He might like a glass of ale with his lunch, but it is not to be had. In tantalising fashion, the Australian and New Zealand vignerons have set out their wares in pyramids and rows of bottles, filled presumably with the juice of th«» grape, but they are not to be opened for general consumption within the building, and the strongest beverage that can be purchased within the Exhibition or the grounds are cordials. New Zealanders are used to this state of things, but the casual visitor from overseas wears an expression of having been duped when he quite realists the truth that this is an absolutely teetotal Exhibition. DOING THE SIDE SHOWS. • The Auckland visitor who wanders onfc into the, grounds, where the air is fresn and free, and there is no trouble about the ventilation, will have, plenty of opportunities of getting rid of his small change. So far, he has spent ss. In "Wonderland,*' he can do the whole thing for 2s Bd. A gentleman with a singularly strong pair of lungs and a voice that insists upon being heard above every other noise, shouts.- "Come in ! Come in to Wonderland. The mothers and fathers can ride on the camel, while the children can shoot the chute. Hi! hi hi! Walk in. Walk in. Only 6d." Admission to Wonderland is gained by the purchase of 6d worth of coupons, redeemable at face value. Inside the Aucklander first tries the helterskelter, price 2d. He walks up An extin-guisher-like tower, emerges from a little door, sits in a slippery spiral groove, and before he knows where he is, is shot out on to a bench into the arms of an usher What would happen if a nail head protruded frem the bottom of the groove is ■really too awful to contemplate. Next comes the water-chute. Here,; taking hie place among the crowd, who line up in a long queue awaiting admission, he is at last bundled on to a trolley, which hoisJs him up a great wooden platform, with » gradient, of one in 30. At the top he takes his place in a punt, not unlike the ; clumsy craft used by sailors in Auckland harbour when painting ships' sides. This when loaded rushes down with fearful speed into the lake at the bottom, aed skims the water to a landing-place. .The sensation is most exhilarating. Aatzenjammer Castle is another feature of Wonderland. It is a most uncanny place to find oneself. in. Dark passages, heaving floor, terrific rumblings, piercing shrieks, and fierce winds, all conspire to reproduce in the most temperate persons those unhappy experiences which follow a merry night, and to which the free-drinking Germans have given the name of jammer. A ride on camels, a turn of the toboggan, a sight of Mr. Dick C'avill disporting himself in the swimming baths, a passage in the dragon train, and there is no more left of the 2s Bd. , : THE INNER MAN. By this time the visitor feels inclined, for ; a cup of tea. He selects a, likely-looking place, and after satisfying his J thirst and toying with a biscuit or a scone, he is presented with a docket for Is 6d. He realises once more that the hay must be made while the sun shines. He is in the humour, and pays without a demur 200 per cent, extra .for having tea in Exhibition, and thanks himself that ho is not lika

a' Dunedin visitor at the next tabic to his, who tis there: . with a party of six. After faking one glass of lemonade, five cups of tea, half a dozen tiny sandwiches and the same number of biscuits, the party find that their entertainment had cost the gentleman who invited them to refreshment exactly Bs. So far the Aucklander has only spent 9s 2d. As he feels curious to hear some of the latest phonographic records, and to see some new kinematrograph pictures he invests the remaining coppers, and brings his disbursement to half-a-sovereign. It is now nearing five o'clock, and the Aucklander would go to his hotel, perhaps, for dinner. He pays for it whether he eats it or not, and anyway it is only another shilling for readmission. He will return at seven, "do" more of Exhibition, a few more of the side shows, go to the concert, and after that a little more Exhibition. Before leaving ho would like to wash his hands— 3d. total 10s 3d. He has not seen the thermal regions in petfc. He has not visited the , Maori pa; lie has resisted the Frenchman who is selling popcorn; he has not travelled the rocky road to Dublin; the Battle, of Gettysburg .panorama is not yet ready; he has not tried to extricate himself from the "house of trouble;" has had no time t oliave his fortune told ; he was too rushed to drop pennies into slots of the hundred odd machines in the pike ; not a-quart#r of the side shows has he yet done ; and he Las seen very little of "the Exhibition as such; and yet it is nearly six o'clock. A motor 'bus takes him from the gates to the Cathedral Square; fare 2d for a three minutes' ride, and then he reflects. At seven he is faithful to bis intention of " doing " the Exhibition. It has become a religion to him, a . fetish, a worship. "What," says he to himself, "will unfriends say-when I return rto : Auckland? They will say what fs the music like? And of the art? Yes, I saw some pictures." And the Exhibition itselr, the side shows, the buildings, the pa, the aquarium, the fernerv, all these are to be seen, but how? The distracted Aucklander asks himself shall one tell anything after a mere scamble through the avenues and the grounds. THE MUSIC. But the music! Here the Aucklander will got his money back. Hitherto the day has cost him, "say, half-a-guinea. He knows that there is a concert hall, he has heard that one of the finest orchestras ever got together in Australasia is to perform. He has been told that the new organ is the largest of its kind in the world, but his information is fragmentary, picked up haphazard, floating cobwebs of rumours, for the Exhibition authorities issue no daily programme of events, and rely upon getting audience-.; for their superb musical entertainments bv ushers who stand at the concert hall doors and shout This way to the concert; this way to the concert; admission Is;" as if 'they wished to attract people to see the, fat woman or the swordswallower, rather than to listen to magnificent music. Taking his seat in the concert hall, the Aucklander will be impressed with the admirable provision made for lovers of music. The orchestra is seated. Presently Mr. Alfred Hill appears, and the large audience—well, the hall is oyer half full, which is large compared with the first concert on Friday, when there «ere not more than 20 or 30 persent—gives the New Zealand composer a most flattering welcome. Mr. Hill bows, turns swiftly round to his " forces, poises his baton in midair, waves it and the instrumentalists plunge heart and soul into the pompous opening bar of the vortureto"Zampa. ! ' For the orchestra one cannot have anything but the highest admiration and respect, and to Mr Hill is justlv due the credit o fhaving got such a magnificent band together. When the "Zampa" music is ended the audience burst out into a delirium of applause. Actually there is nothing to lose ones head over, albeit the work is exceedingly well done. Mr. Hill- bows, and the : audience cheers again. Mr. Hill turns round, and with a non nobis" air, indicates in gestures which leave no doubt in the minds of all present that it is not he : (Mr. Hill) who deserves all this. " Not • unto me," he seems to say. " but to these my faithful ones, the orchestra, be this honour and glory." This little scene is worth a separate shilling itself. Well, the programme continues, Miss Amy Murphy sings with great aplomb, and in a voice of exquisite sweetness, _an Italian song. bristling with " technical" difficulties, which she overcomes with consummate ease. Other songs follow by Mr. Arthur Ballance and Mr. Crabtree. ■■_, A particularly fine pitch of cornet playing, "The Lost Chord," is .given by Mr. Fox. The orchestra gives a faultless performance of Delibe's quaint ballet suite, Sylvia." Mr. Hill again assumes his " non nobis" attitude, and- so the programme continues to,. r the end. .. \ ■ "ALL-OUT." "The- concert ends at a-quarter past nine, - and there is just time to make one's way lazily through the corridors to the gates , when the clearance,. at a -quarter to .'ten"" out." and the day is ended with so'little seen,'so comparatively little done, - and nothing studied. Then it is at the end of the first day that one realises how much there is to be seen at the Exhibition, how much it may cost to see it, and how wearisome it is to tramp court after court, alley after alley, passage after passage, in an honest but futile endeavour to see it all -in one day. "I.'"* :".'"? '"Zj.jA