WOMAN'S WORLD.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 13286, 19 September 1906, Page 9

WOMAN'S WORLD.

HOW TO BE ATTRACTIVE.

There aro few, if any, girls who do Dot long to be ' considered attractive, far more than interesting, or even pretty, and yet too often they fail to possess this much-wisbcd-for qualification, chiefly because they do not rightly understand the meaning of that word "attractive."

The girl who appreciates the joy of living who is happy for no particular reaso:i except because she has youth and a little niche in the world," will ever attract. No matter what hard corners she bumps against, or how buffeted about she is in her daily work, she emerges from it with a. smiling" face and a deep .sympathy for her fellow-travellers, that girl cannot fail to attract wherever she may go. The girl who realises that there is a silver lining to every cloud, will be welcome everywhere. She takes as her motto these lines:

" The inner side of every cloud Is bright and eluuing. I therefore turn my clouds about. And always wear them inside out To show the silver lining." And her very bright and hopeful outlook attracts those around her. The girl who enjoys her home life, who finds happiness in simple, social pleasures, ami vim is nut for ever yearning for the unattainable, also possesses this power. There is ah old Chinese proverb which says. "That to be attractive, a woman must have virtue dwelling in her heart, modesty in her forehead, sweetness in her mouth, and industry in her hands." And it is perfectly true, for no one is attracted by a bitter tone, by a conceited mien, by a flaunting appearance, or bv idleness.

To be really attractive, self must be forgotten, aud only others considered. How often has it been found that sympathy freely given has straightway paved the way to love. Nothing attracts the opposite sex so much as womanliness, shown in thought and care for others. Thus it may be. that the plainest girls, though apparently hampered by lack of good looks, may yet rival their beautiful sisters. To be attractive to men a girl must be content in herself, in her daily work, and her surroundings,, not ever striving to better herself. She must also have mastered the art of " rest fulness," and know how to make her environment a "haven of refuge" to the tired worker, who, in her company, will feel the peace he needs after hie strenuous life. No man is really attracted for long by a woman who aims to be a weau imitation of himself. The opposite qualities to himself are what the man desires to liud in woman, and what pleases him most. When once a girl has attracted one of the opposite sex. he no longer criticises ber, but he straightway lifts tier 011 a pedestal in his heait.

HOW TO BEHAVE. , For a hot summer's day on a sea beach there could bo no more entertaining book than " Etiquette for Every Day," a complete guide to etiquette by Mrs. Humphry. It. is not only amusing, but it is instructive. The city clerk, for instance, or the teashop girl who has squandered eighteenpene© upon it may learn in half an hour how to behave in the presence of Royalty. The teashop girl will, no doubt, bear in mind the following hints: —

"It is not etiquette to refuse an invitation to dance from any Royal person. liven a, previous engagement must not be pleaded unless it should happen to be with some other Royal Prince.'•' :

As a terrible warning "of; the. consequences of any lapse of etiquette in this direction the following anecdote is most impressive:—

"An American girl, who was practically hobbled by a pair of tight shoes, was asked to dance bv the Prince of Wales once at, a. duchess' ball. She refused, saying she was too tired to dance. Her hostess was much annoyed, and never invited her to her bouse again. It was a predicament, in which a great amount of tact was needed. It would have been better to accept, and,after a turn or two to toll the simple truth." ; ;\

The. young "man on 2 the beach will no doubt boar in mind that "the man who is unaccustomed to wear a sword would do well to practise walking and bowing with one before lie attends a levee." To save expense we might suggest that lie practises with a walking can© tied round his waist with his sister's sash. It would be well also to lock the bedroom door on these occasions, as sonic people have an unpleasant sense of humour. ' • * HOW TO ADDIIKSS DUKES. In dealing: with high personages it is good to show an easy familiarity. Thus: — "Duke" and "duchess" arc used colloquially in the same sense that humbler folk say "Mr. Jones" and "Mrs. Smith;" but no one, in speaking to a. marquqis or an earl ever addresses him as "Marquis" or "Earl." This mode is followed only with princes and princesses, dukes, and duchesses, archbishops, bishops, archdeacons, deans, judges, and vicars. A duke is never addressed as " Lord So-and-so." nor a duchess as "Lady Suchand such," but this form is applicable to marquises and marchionesses, earls and countesses, viscounts and viscountesses, barons and baronesses] tho wives of baronets and knights also share tho privilege of being called "Lady," a pretty, liquid-sound-ing word, in strong contrast with the j clumsy and ugly "Mrs." j

A popular novelist has maintained with some bitterness that it is " the woman who pays." In reading this book of etiquette, however, we of the male sex must regretfully conclude that it is "the man who pays."

Thus at the theatre: " When the. attendant comes round with coffee and ices tho gentleman of tho party asks the ladies if they wish for any, and he pays for any that are ordered." Again, "When a man accompanies a lady or ladies to their home or hotel after tho play ho pays the cabman." Mrs. Humphry lias many interesting tilings to say about men, some of which are calculated to increase our self-conceit. In spite of " mafficking," for instance, and other ebullitions of spirit which occasionally give us trouble and morning headaches, wo learn that:

"The Englishman trains himself from boyhood to a stern solf-reprcssion. He will show no feeling if lie can help it. He will bear joy, sorrow, surprise, disappointment, elation with Red Indian stoicism." ox THE lUVER. Very full instructions are given regarding bachelors' entertainments. On the river there are many things to remember of high importance, especially during mealtime. "Tho question of beverages arises at. an early stage of luuch, and if the ladies entertained have any tact they will at once avert any awkwardness that might otherwise arise. The host says to his principal guest, 'What win© would you like? Champagne?' Then he asks the other ladies, and afterwards tho men of the party. It is ho who gives the various orders to tho winewaiter."

Among other points of etiquette we are surprised to find that "talking scandal" is very bad manners. It is almost worse for a bald-headed man to wear a wig. Regarding the etiquette of hair-dressing we are told by this excellent authority that men with long faces should have round boards, but if a man's faco is round and fat ho should wear an ''Imperial."

"It is a mistake for short men to wear the beard too long. The head should be a little less than one-seventh the length of the whole body, and the eapilliary addition to its size throws it quite out of proportion. On a very tall man, inclined to leanness and angularity, a long beard is almost equally a mistake, unless he should happen to be so bountifully supplied by Nature that he can have it of width proportionate to its length, and so thick as to convey an idea of almost superabundant fulness. He will probably pay for this, however by being very bald on the top of his head." As we are all anxious to further " the entente cordiale" we should take warning by the needless offence which is given, wo find, to Frenchmen in the matter of maidservants.

•' In France maidservants in private families and chamber-maids at hotels are addressed as ' Mademoiselle,' and. in Germany as ' Frauleiu.' In England their name appears to be in private houses something that sounds like. 'I say!' and in hotels 'Hi! Marv.' There is a roughness and want of finish about this that shocks a Frenchman', and is calculated to make oven a German disapproving." Altogether there is a great, deal of useful information' in this small volume,, besides infinite entertainment. .'

A PLEA FOR EMBROIDERY." A BEAUTIFUL AND A REVIVING ART. The art of embroidery, says May Martin, ill Chambers' Journal, is to-day treated rather as a graceful diversion or accomplishment than as a serious work for women. This vas not always so, for it was ■ in times lung ago pursued with diligence as a great art : —

. . . whereas in former days many women spent their whole time working, am! the. earliest historical event-, instead ot being painted with thfl brush, were "painted with the needle," for embroidery took precedence of painting as a means of decoration.

It is pleasant to road, however, that we are once again on the right road to excellence in this direction, in spite of the desire on the part of some advocates of female education that the day-will come when a needle will be an unknown weapon to a woman !

It seems .hardly necessary that this branch of education should be neglected on account of others when wo consider that some of our most highly-educated women have alio Ikvmi skilled cmbroideresses.

Lady dane Grey was the master of eight different languages, yet found time for t|uanMtics of artistic work; and Harriet Martineail supported herself by the work of her fingers and needle loos before she sold lior first hook.

"She died at a good old age, having wrought the whole Bible in tapestry": "She excelled in needlework, she painted in water-colour: of such is the Kingdom of Heaven." wore considered ideal epitaphs in the eighteenth century: end though we have no desire to see these repealed, it surely does seem a pity that a little more time in a girl's education is not devoted to what is most essentially in woman's occupation.

THE MODERN GIRL'S VIRTUES. "Whatever she may be like in print, in real life the modern girl is a perfectly adequate and most interesting person": Every scrap as nice as her grandmamma was, but with twice that-lady chances of becoming, an efficient housewife." Thus boldly does .Miss Dora Chapman write in (lie World and His Wife in vindication of that much-maligned product of the last century:--

There are a few helpless imbeciles in th* ranlcs of young married women to-day, just as there have always been since time began; but. the average woman is anything but imbecile, and modern conditions help her to learn things in half the time grandmamma could.

To-day the wisdom of the wisest is hers for the asking; and between the womeu magazines and innumerable, housekeeping classes the modern girl, though she may never have entered a kitchen before she tried on her engagement-ring, can be a firstrate housewife by the time she (Jons her wedding one, if she so chooses. Miss Chapman complains of man's audacity in excusing- Ins all too '■ frequent bachelorhood with the plea that the modern girl is extravagant and midonicsticated, and has made matrimony a luxury for millionaires : — •

When the modern young man begins to choose his future wife as he would a ma'ii partner, without regarding skin-deep beauty or frilly frocks, then he will really have a right, to complain if he finds a dearth of sober, quiet, thrifty maidens for him to woo. (He won't complain, however; there-; are more than enough of such girls to go round.l Hut so long as he continues to danglo round the smart society girl find to flee the domesticated dowdy he lias no right, to bo anything but humbly grateful for the fact that the vast majority of modern girls make such admirable wives as in fact, not fiction, they do.