ODD STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 13202, 13 June 1906, Page 1 (Supplement)

ODD STORIES.

THE ANTIQUE. Custom : 'And is this chair really an antique piece, of furniture?" . Dealer: "Antique, madam? There's no doubt a,bout it. Why, it was so wormeaten when I bought it that I have had to have a new back, a- new seat, and throe new legs made lor. it." A WILY HINDU. j Major Arthur Mciinwaring tells a good cricketing story in which figures' LieutenantGeneral Lytfefton. It was at Poona. Gene- i rail Lytteltoa (then a colonel) was captain of a team eelected to play against a Hindu team. - ■- ■ . ' ■ ■ When he tossed with the Hindu skipper that worthy cried "heads," and as it came down "tails" the colonel said lie would go in. - " No, sir, - ' said the wily one; "we wish to go in first, if you please." i " But we won the toss," answered the colonel. . "Pardon me, sir," replkd the mild Hindu, " we won the toss.'' "My good man,", said the colonel, " you cried "heads,', and it came clown 'tails' uppermost." "Exactly, sir; but wo always cry which side conies underneath." And the Hindu captain had his way. THE POET WORDSWORTH. When Canon Rawnsley was collecting information in the Lake district about Wordsworth, the poet-, ho came upon an old man who had been a servant at Itydal Mount. This whilom retainer told many interesting stories. Wordsworth, it seems,, was very absentminded. He- always forgot the dinnerhour. "I'd. goa," the old man remarked, "to study door and hear him a-mumblin' away to 's-self. 'Dinner's ready, sit-,' I'd o'-' out, but lies goa mumbling on like a. deaf man, ya see. And sometimes Mrs. Wudsworth 'ud .'say, 4 Goa and brek a bottle, or let a. dish fall just outside door in passage.' Eh, dear, that maistly wad bring him out. wad that. It was nobbut that as wad, howivver. For ye kna lie was a very earful man, and he couldn't do with lnekking t' china."

AMUSING SCENE ON A CONCERT PLATFORM. The heroine of this amusing encounter, which is .alleged to have taken place in the Midlands, is -Mine. Amy Shervvin, the well-known singer. From the programme of a concert which sire was giving the pianist discovered? that the names of the makers of the pianoforte he was playing 011 had been omitted. " Madame." said lie. " I told you the name of ze pianoforte maker must printed be. Now my fee vill be anozzer ten. guineas." " Very good, Herr said the lady'. "An' I \ ill not play until I get it," said the Herr. So the lady went down to the box-office for ten guineas' worth of the smallest coins they had. It was brought up in a bag, which she emptied on the table in front of the excited pianist. " There, is your fee, Herr . Will you play now?" said she. And the other artists say that to see a long-haiired pianist dancing round and trying to count ten guineas' worth of coppers and small silver coins is as good as a pantomime.

ALMOST SCOTCH CAUTION. Prodigal as the Rothschilds were, and are, they nearly all have, and had:, one trait in common. They will give £1000 without a moment's t hesitation: they will' not. be fleeced of sixpence 'Sifter half-au-hour's discussion , ' There is a very amusing story in connection with this trait relating to Mr. Leopold de Rothschild's father. The son was iu the habit of taking the same cab every morning from Piccadilly to St. Swithin's Lane, and always gave the jehu 2s 6d. One morning when the son was away the sire hailed the conveyance, aaid at. the end of the journey gave the driver a florin. Cabby looked at the coin wistfully. ; " What's .wrong?" asked the old man. " Nothing, sir," was the reply, " but Mr. Leopold always gives me crown." " I don't wonder at it. Mr. Leopold is a spendthrift, but be can afford it; he has a rich father. I am. an orphan, a"d can't."