LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 13193, 2 June 1906, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

• • s\ *** 1 "Let me-h&ve audience for 3 word or two.' —Sliakeapere "Dear Mercutio,'' writes a distiiiguishec correspondent-, "you will no doubt Iran gathered front the papers that I am bavin; a. splendid time in /Australia,. [am almos as popular here as on I lie West Coast am the number of dinners I have been asked l< eat, free, gratis, and for nothing, wouh have fed your Cost ley .Home inmates for ; ••v . month. How I have survived them all ] / don't know, but I suppose the clever waj in which fl dodged half the courses hat something to do with it. Yet in spile ol i my artfulness I am beginning to feel a bil bilious and will have to put the break on. The people here want me to take then affairs in hand and are prepared to pay nu what would he a princely salary computet with the miserable two thousand or so thai 1 get in New Zealand. But I am not to be tempted. God's own country is good enough forme, even though one ie hard pinched at times to pay one's grocer and butcher. Besides, between ourselves, en Ire nous, as Ward would say just to ail bis French, the Australian people are toe fickle tor my liking and the public men here are very,different to Duncan or McGowan, to say nothing of Charlie Mills. I don't think I could get on with them. They all want to be on topso unlike my old dear, devoted colleagues. i Everyone of them has tried to find out from me how U do it. 'Look here, old man,' they say, 'how do you manage to stick to oilice 'in . the way you do?' 'How do I do it?' I . answer with a knowing wink, 'I merely does / it,' which may not be good grammar but is ' the truth all the same. They can wink here, of course, but bless my soul thev do it as clumsily as a horse, and have a, lot 1 to learn. 1 have been kept very busy fixing up a, whole host of knotty problems which have long baffled the greatest statesmen in Australia, but these matters must for the present'.be regarded as strictly confidential. I may mention, however, that as a result of my, labours the people of New Zealand will be able, I trust, to recruit their exhausted strength with abundant and untaxed Tasmanian potatoes, the sweeter because they are no longer leavened by a sense of injustice. This is also a good party move, because I lind from returns furnished to me by the officers of my Agricultural Department that the bulk of the New Zealand potatoes are grown in districts that return Opposition members. Ha! Ha! you can't beat the old man!" Mr. Seddon being greatly struck by the ,■ paucity of New Zealand news appearing in the Australian papers has arranged to supply them with a bi-weekly service. The following is a specimen of the class of news which the Premier proposes to send: — 'the New Zealand Parliament will be opened on June 27 by the Kight Hon. the Premier, assisted by His Excellency, the Governor who / will read a speech prepared by Mr. Seddou in winch important references will be made to the present state of Europe and the recent disclosures in connection vrith the Chicago sausage trade. In anticipation of the arrival of a, number of distinguished personages from the oversea possessions of New Zealand, among them being:.the noted ariki ilalapouht whose grand- . father ate the first white missionary to perish in the South Sea Islands, the official residence of, the Prime Minister, the lit. Hon. It. ,T. Seddou, P. 0.. T-/L.D., etc.. is undergoing extensive alterations. The kitchen, will be enlarged by taking in the present scullery, and' it is also intended to place fixed tub* •in > the wash-house. * : • The Liberal and Labour Federation, a nonpolitical "body •of patriotic New Zealandere, •ie organising a national testimonial to the lit. Hon. It. J. S-eddon, the Prime Minister, on the completion of his 20th year in office. It has not yet been decided what form the testimonial shall take, but it is believed that following a well-known precedent it ■ will •:# Ins a: parse of sovereigns. Yesterday the lit. Hon. the Premier visited his , old home on the West Coast. The dav was proclaimed a public liolida.V, and* the sl>ecU were rthronged by ' a dense: crowd of well- ■\ dressed, prosperous, and happy-looking men. ■women. and children.- A vast concourse fol- ' lowed-Mr. Seddon to liia former residence. The great statesman was deeply affected, at the sight of the humble little dwelling that '' had once been his home, but quickly recovering himself he: ascended to : the roof, from, where he delivered a long, eloquent, and/noble address to-the enthusiastic; assemblage. in the course of which he remarked that if through any efforts of hit the price of New Zealand wool had reached a, phenomenal rate, and New Zealand butter and cheese, and frozen meat had now a, reputation throughout the whole civilised world, he had' not lived and laboured in ▼ain. In the evening lie was entertained at a. banquet. The proceedings were characterised by the most genial good humour, and Mr. Seddon graciously sang the favourit® ' air. "Behold in Me a Mighty Man," from that clever and popular Maori opera, "Ma or I." . ?. ' The Et. Hon. It.' J. Seddon, Prime Minister of -New Zealand, has sent a despatch to the Imperial Government, urging that on the occasion of the coming Imperial Conference ■ the various delegates should be conveyed from and to their respective colonies in. first-class cruisers, and that special steamers of the Ophir class. should be provided for their wives and families. lie has, also suggested that all the delegates should be provided, at the expense of tne Imperial Government with new Windsor uniforms. Last night the Prime Minister of the colony caught a severe cold in the head on his nay home from the opera. On the advice of his medical attendants lie put his feet into hot mustard and water for ten minutes, and on getting into bed drank a tumblerful of hot rum and milk. These remedial measures had the desired effect, and the patient passed a fairly comfortable night. A bulletin issued this morning by Drs. Kure, Cutt, and Patchem states that with the exception of a slight irritation in the throat and a tendency to sneeze the indisposed statesman is progressing favourably. A eoriespondcnt, who signs himself " Alexis, ' writes to me in a somewhat sorrowful vein uncut the absence of the British flag oil Empire Day. In the whole length nf Queen-street, lie savs, only three British Hags were flying, the highest being that over the Hkbai.ij Office, according to him the Hank of New Zealand honoured the day by displaying the German Hag, but surely he is mistaken. • The other banks displayed nothing but bare flagpoles. Nor were the insurance offices more remindful ot the day. This is-surely a pity. On Empire Day, of all days: in the year, the grand old Hag should fly from every building in the city. Next year I hope "Alexis" may be able to write in a different strain. Jt is not greatly to be wondered at that the ghastly stories fuun Chicago about not stopping the sausage-machines when men fall into the hoppers is affecting the orders foi American tinned goods. i<'oilnnately, this colony can supply its own preserved meats, without conversion, and will still have,a. little left. over for export. The prospect of an improving foreign market in the/ New Zealand meat trade is another instance, of it being au ill wind that blows nobody any good. Another local result of lie Chicago scanrials is the noticeable revival of the oldfashioned prejudice against "hustling." "These Yankees called us slow," announced an old citizen in my hearipg, " but I've always- said that it's belter to be slow than- —and he explained in detail what he meant, giving his audience, to understand why an old-time Maori would .11 joy American'bacon better than would the poor pakeha. In war discretion is the better' part of valour and in trade promptitude is the secret of success. In a shop window which I sometimes look into there was the other -, day a magnificent display oi American tinned meats, but when the papers announced the Chicago revelations the exhibits disappeared as if by magic and were replaced bv a very fine.show of New Zealand tinned meats. A tradesman who meets an emergency of this kind with such promptitude , is bound to succeed. ■,?: Should book-keeping be taught in the schools? I don't think so. There is too much of it as it is. More than halt the books I have lent have not been returned. An Important Correction : At 'le l'ouhia, 60 miles north of Gisborne. there are na- , turn! gas jets which, according to Dr. Wo ' tnanri, proceed from " deeply buried deposits of vegetation.". For vegetation read ■" New Zealand politicians." • ' Muicirto. - - ' o" m&K-VXA.*