ODD STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XL, Issue 12238, 6 April 1903, Page 3

ODD STORIES.

THE NEW M.P. The following story is told of a new member of Parliament: — One night recently his wife woke him and whispered, "There are burglars in the house." "You must be mistaken, my dear," said her husband ; " there may be a few among the Peers, but in the House—oh, no; the idea is simply preposterous." AN OMINOUS SYMPTOM. "A good wife is Heaven's greatest gift to man, and the rarest gem the earth holds,' remarked Mr. Jarly, the other morning. "She is his joy, his inspiration, and his very soul. Through her he learns to reach the. pure and true and hei loving hands loud him softly over the rough places. She is—" "Jeremiah." said Mrs. Jarly, solemnly, " Jeremiah, what wickedness have you been up to now?" SWALLOWED THE BOX. In Mr. Michael Mac Dona's "Irish Life and Character" he gives some amusing instances of Irish simplicity in dealing with the physician. One' story is of a dispenser who prescribed two pills for a sick labourer, which he sent by the man'r wife, in a small box, bearing the direction, "The whole to be taken immediately." On visiting his patient a little later, the doctor was surprised to find the pills had not helped him. He asked the man's wife if she had given him the medicine. ( " Shure, an' I did that same, doctor, said she; " but maybe the lid hasn't come off the wee box yet." The sick man Had swallowed box and all. OBEDIENT TO HIS WILL. Now when old man Goldrox lay on his death-bed he called his young wife to him, and said: • " I have one last request to make—one little boon to ask. It is that you do not. marrv again until my grave is green." "How can you sa'-say such th-things?" sobbed the poor young thing. It was then the 10th of November. # Much comment was occasioned when it was learned that old man Goldrox's will specially stipulated that he should be buried in a tomb hewn from the solid rockin the centre of a huge granite boulder, in fsetabout which no herbage of any sort had ever grown. Much more comment was occasioned when, on the Ist of December, the widow of Goldrox and young P. E. Cunious were seen returning 'from the . tomb, bearing between them an empty bucket stained with green paint. Real Torchon laces: Now opened, a splendid selection, from 2s 2d to 2s lid per yard. —■Smith and Caughey, Limited. •