A CRUSTY OLD BACHELOR

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 11551, 15 January 1901, Page 3

A CRUSTY OLD BACHELOR

, . .. . . ... •' ' "It we can't. agree, ma'am, it's high time we parted company," said Mr. Barpabas ;jj l "My sentiments exactly," said Miss Patty Chickson, "and the sooner the better,' according to my way of thinking." _ Mr.. Buffington was a portly individual, . ' , with a Roman nose, iron-gray hair, and a , gtout, short figure. ' ' Miss • Chickson" was tall and spare, , with 'little spiral curls and the remains of a complexion, and with blue eyes that had . been passing bright 20 years ago. . ■ "There's an end to all human endurance, ' observed the gentleman, sternly. "Sir," said Mr,,Chickson, "I have put up ! with your eccentricities until forbearance has ■ . ceased to be a virtue." "A month's : notice," said Mr. Buffington, savagely, flourishing his , yellow silk pocket handkerchief. * "You are quite at liberty to, go. at the end of 24 hours, for all I care!" retorted " 'Hiss -Chickson, with dignity. " Madame, I take you at your word," said K" the gentleman. "Sir, I shall congratulate myself if you will," said the lady. 'V J'" . Mr. Barnabas Buffington had lodged with - Miss Martha Chickson for 10 years. He was rich and eccentric; she was poor."and proud. As young people there had been certain love passages, • which ; had never blossomed into full perfection—and when Mr. Buffington came home from China and .found his • old pastor's orphan daughter .trying to gain » scanty livelihood by letting apartments, he engaged her entire second floor at once and paid his way like a rajah. ' / "Poor girl! poor girl!" said Mr. Barnabas Buffington. " But how thin' and old-maidish shii has grown! I really can't imagine how I could ever have fancied her a divinity. What fools young men are, to bo sure." " Poor dear Mr. Buffington ! how stout and Vulgar he has become!" said Miss Chickson.' How the dreams of one?s youthful days so alter!" Mr. Barnabas Buffington was not perfect enough to be canonised, and. Miss Chickson had her petty . peculiarities. The . consequence was that little collisions : were inevitable. . •' > ,»'■■■

And one day there came a longer measuring of wordy swords than usual,, and Mr. Buffington and Miss Chickson formally parted:

"Ten-year:? is quite long; enough to tolerate this state of things," said the old bachelor "I'm only surprised that I haven't turned him away long ago," said the old maid. . 5,0 when Mr. Buffington had trone away in a cab piled high with baggage Miss Chickson rang the bell for her maid. "Barbara," said she. ''Jos, ma'am?" said Barbara. <( Mr. Buffington is gone at last." a "So I perceive, ma'am," said Barbara. And won't he cotno back again, ma'am?" ii vo ,\ er "' Miss Ohickson, with spirit. 0!". said Barbara, rather surprised. 'It will be necessary for us to reduce expenses,' remarked the .mistress. "Offcourso, I cannot any longer afford to keen so large ft house as this. Mr. Buffington, 7 whatever were his faults, cannot at least be accused of parsimony." " Certainly not, mp/am," said Barbara. Of all .liberal, freehanded, kind-spoken gents" ....... , ;:v . Barbara, you will obliee me by holding your tongue!" said. Miss'Chickson. " Certainly, ma'am," said Barbara! " Get me a cup of tea," said Miss Chickson, " and when I have drunk it c I will go out to look for a cheaper house in a less aristocratic neighbourhood." ' Barbara brought up the . cup of tea. in a quaint little Wedgwood teapot, on a Japanese tray. Miss Chickson drank it in silence, looking sadly at the fire. Tea was, so to speak, Miss Chickson's inspiration. When she was low-spirited or : in doubt, or puzzled, or in any way thrown off her mental balance, she drank tea, and straightaway became herself again. Meanwhile, Mr. Barnabas Buffington, in the solitary splendours of a West End hotel, ■was scarcely less ill at ease. " I don't like this sort of thing at all," said Mr. Buffington to himself, one morning, a month,later. "It isn't homelike. There's 110 cat hero. Patty Chickson always kept a cat. There's something very domestic and cosy-looking about a cat. I'll ;go out look down the advertising columns of the daily paper and see what inducements they have to offer in the way of quiet, respectable homes for elderly gentlemen." So it came to pass that Mr. Barnabas Buffington sallied forth,' not house-hunting, but home-hunting. It was not a so readily-disposed of business as he supposed. This house was next to a livery, stable; that , one contained a young lady who was practising for an opera singer; tha third smelled as if . the drainage was defective the fourth was too splendid the fifth too shabby. /" "I don't know but that I shall be compelled to sleep at the stationhouse," gloomily remarked Mr. Barnabas Buffington, " for. come what may, nothing. shall induce me to go back to that noisy hotel, where the waiters don't'come until you have rung the bell 40 times, and the soup is served half cold." He was walking pensively along a quiet and shady little street, with both hands thrust deep down in his pockets, and the front of his hat tilted down over his nose,, when, chancing to look up, he perceived a gray cat dozing in the bay window of a modest-looking house, and on the doorway thereof was placed an unpretentious notice: " Board and lodginsrs at moderate prices." "I like the look of that place," said Mr. ' Buffington. " They keep a cat there—a : gray cat. It's not splendid, but it looks comfortable. I'll try it." He rang the bell; a neat little maid-scr-rant, in a white apron and frilled cap, responded to the summons. / " Please, sir, missus ain't at home, but I knows all about the rooms," said the little damsel. "I 'can show 'em, and I can tell you the terms." , Barnabas Buffington liked the'look of the rooms, and he did not object to the term®. There was a bright coal fire burning in the grate. "Missis wanted the rooms to be well aired," said the girl, courtesying at every.other word. "Your missis, my girl, is a woman of sense," said Mr. Buffington. " This settles the matter. I'll take the apartments for a month certain, with the privilege of renewal if I find myself suited." He took off his hat. unwound the comforter from about his neck, and sat down before the cheery shine of the grate. . " Go and tear down the bill at once," said ; he. "And leave the door open, so that the oat can come in. I am'partial to cats!" "But, sir!" hesitated the white-aproned lassie, "if my missis" "Never mind your mistress," said Mr. Buffington, cavalierly. " She wanted a boarder, and she's got one! What more would she have?" And, so speaking, he hailed a cab in the street and bade the driver go for his trunks and hat-boxes without delay. Miss Chickson and Barbara had been out selecting some new pie platters and pudding basins, and little Betsy was eagerly waiting for them at the area door when, they cairn in. "Please, missis," said Betsy, "the roo.n is lot. And he's sitting upstairs now, with the eat in his lap." "Who is?" demanded Miss " The new boarder, .ma'am." ■."What is his name?" ( "Please, ma'am, I don't know," said Betsy. Miss Chickson walked into her little parlour and sat down, fanning herself with her bonnet. "Betsy." said she, "go upstairs, present my compliments to this stranger, and tell him that I shall be glad of an interview ft once. lie may be a' burglar for what I " know!" "Yes," said Betsy. And away she tripped, returning presently. "He's coming, , ma'am," said she. ' And in stalked Mr. Barnabas Buffington! " Good gracious me!" said Miss Chickson. _ "It's Patty Chickson. isn't it?" said Mr. Buffington, : staring with all his eyes. " I might have known that it was the same cat. . However, ma'am," relapsing into a belligerent attitude, ' I won't intrude. I'll leave the premises at once." " Don't," said- Miss Chickson, faintly. ' (> Eh?" said Mr. Buffington. ' —I hope you don't bear malice," said Miss Chickson. "I'm afraid I was a little impatient.", "Don't mention it!" said Mr. Buffington. It was all my fault." "I was unreasonable," said Miss Chickson. (i I was a brute," said Mr. Buffington. 'I have reproached myself bitterly," falter- . Ed the lady. "I haven't had a moment of peace since," said Mr. Barnabas Buffington, sincerely. ' "Shallwe forget and forgive?" whispered • • -1" Chickson. ' - " L know a better plan than that," said . ■»!>". Buffington. " Let's begin the world on a new baflis." Chicks on 1 unt * erstand you saicl Miss

. "I like you and your ways,'' said ) Mr. Buffington. "I didn't know how much until wo separated. Let us settle down together for life, Patty Chickson. ■ . Let's be married." "At our age?" said Miss. Chickson. • "We shall never be any younger," said Mr. Buffington. "If you -really think people wouldn't laugh hesitated the spinster. ...." What ,-do we «are whether they do or not?" said the bachelor, recklessly. And the result of this conference was that Mr. and Mrs. Barnabas Buffington are now sitting, one on either side of the hearthrug, with the gray cat in the middle, as bar'monious a trio as one will often find. And the bill is taken down permanently.— Buffalo Inquirer. *