THE WIT AND HUMOUR OF GOLF.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXVII, Issue 11538, 24 November 1900, Page 6 (Supplement)

THE WIT AND HUMOUR OF GOLF.

■» In an article on " The Old Golf and the New," in Blackwood's Magazine, it is stated that the records of golf are scanty indeed; but they combine with tradition and living memory to show that it was for the most part the pastime of gentlemen, largely country gentlemen or gentlemen with countryhouses. It was by their patronage that the game flourished, greens were kept up, and the club and ballmakers supported. It was they who formed the clubs, maintained or made the rules and practices, and handed on the traditions. The matches these men played were unquestionably of the very keenest; the stakes were commonly some contribution to the supper— claret it might be, or the Malaga. Also, they only played the match by holes. What their score for the round might be i they neither knew or cared. Shrewd wit, caustic humour, and keen banter were part of the play. Even to-day the talk of a foursome of middle-aged Scotsmen has an acid flavour about it that you find in no other nationality. The nature of the game seems peculiarly favourable to the display of Scots wit. Which produced the other—the game the wit, or the wit the game— a difficult question. Some sav the game came from Holland ; if that be true, we incline to think it left that land in disgust, and came to a country where a congenial humour awaited it. That this special humour had full play among these olden golfers is beyond doubt. Indeed it was so much part of the game that the caddies had full license to indulge in it. " Man, major," said an old caddie to the gentleman who had been using strong language rather freely, " if you wad keep your tongue aff the ba' an' your een on't, you wad play better." And what a fine revenge was that of the wastrel-caddie who had been sent for the first time to the "lock-up" for drunkenness by a gentleman only recently promoted to the local magistracy. When he came out the bailie engaged him to carry his clubs. At a critical point of the match the bailie had a putt of a foot to save the hole. He missed it; and when all had expressed their feelings in the customary way, the caddie said in a loud voice, " Ay, there's mony a man been sent to gaol for far less than that!" Was it not another of these porters of the links who, after his employer had played nine holes of missed shots and putts, surrendered the clubs to another caddie with the remark, " Ye'll no mind, laird I made but a puir breakfast this mornin', an' I'm no in a condeetion to stand ony mair o't." _