ON THINGS IN GENERAL

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXVII, Issue 11319, 14 March 1900, Page 3

ON THINGS IN GENERAL

\ THE" GOOD OLD QUEEN. "There is something very touching in the almost frenzied demonstrations of loyalty jrith ■which the venerable lady, who occupies tie British'' throne has just been, rejceived by the Londoners. One feels that underlying all this exuberant enthusiasm is the solemn thought, which no one likes to utter, that wo cannot have our beloved Queen much longer. The Londoners seem to have endeavoured to smother this saddening thought by redoubling their cheers and other exhibitions of loyalty. Four score years is a great age, and no matter how we may shout, " 0 Queen, live for ever," God's laws pf life and death are inexorable, and to everyone upon this earth death cometli soon or late. The grand old lady has decided to brave the unpleasantness of a sea voyage, in order tc show her sympathy with the friends and relatives of her gallant Irish Soldiers. No wonder the soldiers love their (Queen, who suffers with them in their hardships, pains, and sorrows, and rejoices with fhem in their victories. Nor is it surprising that Tommy Atkins should say to his Comrades, "After Magersfontein," to quote gome lines by the Bishop of Ripon: —

Our duly must be done. And, lads, there's one thing more, It's proper should be said In tho ears of bravo men living, And over brave men dead. There's a lady at home in England, Who has lived now many years, And who. in her long lifetime, Has wept a many tears; But the heart she bears is English, And she is good and wise: In grief she remembered duty. And bravely dried her eyes. And never, not one one of us suffers, But she gives us of her heart, Didn't we hear how her voice kept trembling That day she gave ns our start ? And we'd like to see her happy In a peace that was nobly won; And so, for the dear old Queen's sake, God helping, we'll get it done. (Mates loq.): That's that's hit the nail, Tom, God helping, we'll get it done. KRUGER'S THOUGHTS. Kroger and Stoyn are now beginning to wish they had listened to reason, and regained the friendship of England and the independence of their Republics. Evil counsels, however, prevailed, and they are now learning the truth of tho saying that ho who draws the sword (save in the cause of righteousness and freedom), shall perish by the sword. In the hour of triumph Britain will remember mercy, but it would not by merciful to perpetuate a state of things in South Africa which would make a repetition of the present awful strifo not only possible, but probable. Mr. Kruger is probably beginning to understand that pride goes before a fall, and he is very likely asking himself. Why ever was I such a fool The British to defy ? I'll curse the year of 'ninety-nine Until i die. I thought that I could easy drive The British to the sea; I realise with anguish keen They're driving me ! This wretched year I've staked my all An empire great to gain. Now Chamberlain says, " Uncle Paul, You've lost i he game !" WHAT IS WASTE?

A lot of nonsense was spoken at the special taeeting of the City Council on Saturday night to discuss the water supply question. 'After scarifying the citizens of Auckland with the bogey of a water famine, threatening them with all sorts of pains and penalties if they used what the Council might bo pleased to think too much water, and turning off the supply at night, to the great inconvenience of many, there was very naturally a considerable saving. From this councillors argued that there must have been reckless waste. There may have been jvaste, but the existence of such waste is riot to be proved in this way. The people have been frightened, and indeed actually prevented from using the water they sequire, whereas, with our climate, in the height of the hot season, and threatened As we are with plague, people should be encouraged tc use water in every legitimate way. Here is an illustration which one Councillor gives of wanton waste: "He saw ■water running down Hepburn-street, and when he traced it to a tap, the woman who occupied the house told him she had allowed the water to run to clean out the drains." For my part I think that watei might be put to a very much worse use. The poor woman had to choose between plague, fever, or somethng of the kind, and death by thirst. She thought the former was the greater of the two evils, and so she cleared the drains. It i,3 a shame that citizens should be compelled to make such a choice. An eminent Sydney doctor tells us that the best way of preventing plague is (a get rid of dirt, and to be clean. A bar of soap and a bath are, be says, a man's best hope. How in the name of all that's sensible can we be clean and get rid of dirt without plenty of water —even sufficient to clear our drains—without being looked upon as public enemies? One councillor coolly stated that there was no necessity for any alarm, apparently quite oblivious of the fact that the alarm originated in the alrming reports of the Council and its officials. For councillors to talk about there being no need for atyrm is surely adding insult to injury. JOHN CHINAMAN AS A WITNESS. After two tedious days the Archhill Chinese assault case was concluded at the Supreme Court last week. Extracting evidence from some of the Celestials was like drawing teeth. One "John" told a very good story up to a certain point, but he seemed to have an aversion to proceed beyond that. Counsel wished to know whether a conversation that witness referred to was carried on in English or Chinese, and it took fullv five minutes to elicit the replv. At the first asking he wanted to tell the Court something about his vegetables— cipally cabbages, the interpreter said. At the second asking he went into some abstruse account of his genealogical tree. This annoyed counsel, who tried to negotiate the witness in English without the aid of the interpreter, but the result was disastrous. The aid of the interpreter was again invoked, but he got no nearer the goal than a reference tc witness - ' cousin. The Court next took a hand in the game, and it was not till then that a plain "no" could be dragged from the jjinQcent Chinee. The little incident caused one of the counsel to remark sottc v.)cc. that he presumed certain people wore pigtails because they were pig-headed.

A CATERPILLAR STORY.

Dog stories, gooseberry stories, and fish stories are common enough, but the imagination of the yarn-spinner, who at certain periods obtrudes himself on the public gaze to test his hearers' credulity, does not seem to have been able to discover any new subject on which to ring the changes. At last, however, a new story has come to light, and from no less a place than quiet, coaldustbegrimed Huntly. When the Ministerial party was visiting that district recently, the local residents made a feast in honour of the occasion, and all the magnates foregathered. It was during the proposing or one of the toasts —I forget which- that the story fell on the ears of an admiring audience. One of the bucolics was descanting on the hardships that the poor farmer had to undergo with a view of enlisting the sympathy' of the Cabinet members, and instanced a plague of caterpillars, which caused great havoc among his crops, they were there in then thousands, and threatened to leave not a blade of grass or an ear of corn on the farm. Being a resourceful man he made a series of observations of his unwelcome guests, and noticed that there ■was one caterpillar larger than the rest, who appeared to he treated as a sort of leader by the ruck, strange as it might sound. This set the man thinking, and he cultivated the acquaintance of the large specimen, and put him through one or two evolutions. Eureka ! Wherever the large party went the tribe followed—slowly, it is true, but surely. With a generalship that would have won him quick promotion on the veldt, the farmer coaxed and guided the chief towards a well or trench which was used for dipping sheep, and was at that moment full of the necessary fluid. After several marches the army of crop-destroyers followed their leader blindly, and to make a long story short, they all crawled in and were annihilated. But that was not the last scene, for the wily farmer cleared out the trench the following day, with the result that he had some hundredweights of caterpillar corpses, which he promptly distributed over his fields, and thus those who came to devour remained to fertilise. When the narrator sat down

amid loud applause the Right Hon. the Premier turned to his colleague, 'the Hon. the Minister for Railways and Telegraphs, and the wink that followed was audible at the further end of the banqueting hall. This General.