ON THINGS IN GENERAL

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXVI, Issue 10969, 25 January 1899, Page 3

ON THINGS IN GENERAL

INCIDENTS of the pensions COURT.

I have no doubt that the Old Age Tensions (Wis, now sitting, or about, to sit, in varians parts of the colony, will provide many amusing incidents and much food for reflection. In Wellington, the following dialogue look place between the magistrate and an applicant: —The .Magistrate: " Have tou ever deserted your wife." Applicant (stuidily): "No, sir, I had no-occasion." Magistrate: "Some do it without reason." Applicant (with righteous disapproval): "Yes, it is a great failing in New Zealand." Jlie Magistrate: " You're one of the pood old sort." Hut the merit of the "good old sorts faithfulness to his wife assumed a different aspect when it turned out later Oil that the applicant had been practically kept by his better half. One good old lady was astonished by the unexpected question, "Have you eve: failed to provide lor V our children?" "Why,'' she exclaimed, •'thy have been keeping me." Astonishjpent gave way to indignation whin later on they asked her if she had ever been in gaol. " She said she knew nothing of pri sons, and had never previous to the present occasion even been inside of a court in her life. An old man, in reply to a. similar question, as to bis prison experiences, replied with an air that ought to have left nothing further to be said, " No, sir, 1 have been a teetotaller for 36 years. Total abstinence was evidently in his eyes the one thing needful. Seek first to be a teetotaller, and all other things shall be added tratn you. This is very much like the recent utterance of the Primitive Methodist Conference on the question which practically amounts to Total Abstinence is Christianity and Christianity is Total Abstinence. SAMOA. The world is now anxiously waiting to know what steps our Minister for Foreign Affairs is going to take ill order to restore law and order and permanent good government in Samoa. What is to be New Zealand's foreign policy with regard to these islands -Mr. Seddon lias not yet declared, but now that there is a lull in his diplomatic conflict with the Austrian Empire, he will no doubt have time t;i give the Kaiser a bit of his mind. New Zealand's Premier and the Emperor of Germany are both men of great capacity for work, and both have a tendency to combine all the offices of State in their own persons. Nothing is too small or ton great for their versatile intellects. How the sparks will fly when these two meet in diplomatic strife, for when the Right. Honourable Richard Jchn Seddon appeal's ll]H>ll the stage Lord Salisbury and .Mr. Chamberlain must take a back seat. Besides, New Zealand is specially interested in Samoa, for woe we not nearly annexing the islands on our own account a few years ago, and making of them the nucleus of a little l'aciiie 1.111 pi of our own. It is hard to 101 l whether ill'. Seddon will play a lone hand, or whether lie will content himself illi sending down ttie Tutanekai to co-opcrjie with the British and American warships. SKKIN'i; THE FUN. the cxpl illations which have been given of the action of certain German officials in connection with tile fighting in Samoa are, at any rate, amusing, and that is no insignificant merit in these days. The Herman Consul did not lead (lie rebels. Oh, dear no! He merely r.-de in front of them, and they followed behind him. He. couldn't hdj: the rebels coming behind him. and it was not their fault if he would persist in riding before them. The mistake is due to the ignorance of the onlookers, who, in their simplicity, put two and two together, and thought the result must be four. They did not know that the German Consul was only "seeing the fun," and they might well be pardoned for not seeing exactly where tile joke came in. The fun might have been witnessed just as well if the man rode behind, and with infinitely less risk, when the bulleis commenced to fire; but the Germans don't seem to see tilings ill the same way as we do. For instance, they say they are quite satisfied with the working of tile Berlin Treaty, even though it has resulted in insurrection and bloodshed. If they are satisfied with the present stale of affairs. Britain and 'America are not, and the Germans will probably find tkit they have made a mistake, if they .are reckoning on Sainoan affairs becoming so troublesome that the British arid Americans will throw the whole mutter up in disgust, and let tiermany do what slit, likes with the islands. However, it must- be admitted that recent cablegrams "eeni to show that the Germans are inclined to meet the other i'otwis concerned in a reasonable way. "WHERE DO I COME IN "Where do 1 come in ?" is the query one would naturally expect to hear from a native of Samoa, when the question of the selection of a king arises, and one is apt to ask the question, " How do the Samoans regard the interference of another l'ower in choosing a king to rule over them ? In the coufse of a conversation with a lady who has lived the greater part of her life in Samoa, and is as wen qualified as anyone could be to speak on the subject of native manners and customs. it was staled that it wi iild be impossible to obtain the loyal submission of the Thole island to any one king. In former days the island was ruled by three great chiefs. each governing his own clan and independent id the others. The title of Malicta was conferred on the chief who ruled the Apia side, although his fellow chiefs considered themselves his equal in every way. Hence, if foreign interference were out of the question, toe three micro in Samoa at present would be Mabetoa 'I anil (the younger), the successor of Mali' loa Laupepa, on the Apia side of the island : lamsscse (the voungcr) in the Aana district, and Mataafa. over the Atua people. But ill view of the fact that outside interest is involved. it is unlikely that these little matters will be taken into consideration. A LITERARY OUTRAGE. The proposed Twentieth Century New Testament is meeting with s' mc very severe criticism, and bios even been retired to as "the greatest outrage on the Scriptures that has vet been perpetrated, and that is saying a good deal. At the, first glance the idea strikes one as quite harmless, even it unnecessary, but a little deeper consideration inches the " outrageous ilriracter of the undertaking painfully apparent. Many people were not a little nn :ry at the manner in which the Revised Version I.as in some | cases departed from the matchless force and j beautv of the Authorised, but what will these folk say when they we " Pilate s Hall" turned' into "Government House," and Joseph of Aramnthea spoken of its a "much respected councillor." This sort of thing is bid enough, but it is nothing to "Do not throw your pearls before pigs. Even the l'mdiital Son h.is not escaped. He is represented as "even longing to satisfy his ! hunger on the bean pods, on which the pigs were feeding." We do not recognise the Prodigal Son in this modern dress, any more than we would recognise Julius Ctesar in a bell-topper ••n-d frock coat. But after all, the up-to-date version may do good, for when we read the golden rule, as " Always, then, treat others as you would like them to treat von : that, indeed, is both the Law and the Prophets," we can appreciate the ptecioiisness of our heritage in the Authorised Bible. Let us stick to the old Bible , until a better comes along. The Twentieth I Century New Testament is not to be com- I pared with that of the seventeenth century. I AN EMPTY BOAST. i Our Australian friend* are not quite so ■ green as Mr. Seddon seems to think. It : will be remembered that a week or two ago our Premier, with that versatility for which he has become famous, gave nis brother Premiers in Australia the benefit of bis views on certain constitutional difficulties that had arisen in South .Australia and New South Wales between the two branches of the Legislature. Mr. Seddon was proudly thankful that bis Legislative Council never thought of encroaching on the rights of the House of Representatives, but always did as it was told. It was an example to the naughty Councils on the other side, whim gave Australian Premiers so much trouble. In referring to this speech of Mr. Seddon, a New South Wales journalist seems to have a dim idea that when it suits him the Premier of New Zealand has a bad memory and a magnificent " forgettorv." The critic dily asks: "Wasn't it officially announced only the other day that part of the Seddon policy was reform'of the Council, to frighten or bludgeon it into compliance with Seddon ' measures ? Recent memory seems tc ! have ' recollections of important Bills toed out of existence by New Zealand peers, and of the blusterous threats thereupon made by the

Premier of what be would do if that old Upper House didn't behave itself. The troth is that New Zealand isn't any better 1 other r mat6d Upper H ° USe 11 ™ any other colony owning one. It is more com or ably placed than Victoria and South i* 11 where the elective plan has been adopted for the Lords, with the natural result that their lordships claim to have a mandate, and insist on putting its big fingers into the legislative pie. In the nomineecouncil countries a, Government with a majority always has a ring through the nose of the other place ; and Mr. Seddon merely got compliance by giving an effective tug at the nng-rope to prevent the animal going contrariwise again." 6 LEAP YEARS. Leap Years, which are generally supposed to occur every fourth year, are somewhat erratic in their movements. For instance, 1896 was a lea P year, but the next leap year will not occur until 1904. The adjustment is, of course, made to provide for the odd live hours 48 minutes which are left over every year, and which in four years amount to almost 24 hours. As this is a little too much, a second adjustment becomes necessary, and when a year is so many hundreds, as 1900. it is not counted as a leap year, unless the number is divisible by four after cutting out the cyphers. Thus 1900 is not a leap year, but 2000 will be. The General.