ODDS AND ENDS.
She : " When you married me you ttM you were well off." He: "I wm, W* didn't know it." There are few women who belief! inputting off till to-morrow the worrying < which can just as well be done to-day. -
" Why, Clara, dear, what has happwid? It is not a month since your marriage. and I find you in tears already!" " Ah, Hill*! darling, George is standing as member the county, you know, and I've only jolt learnt from the Opposition what a really dreadful man I've married 1"
It is told of a Scotch clergyman tW , when he was a chilli, on going horai fa® , V church one Sunday, he was aaked the text / He replied: " Except ye pay the rent, ye " maun a' lea the parish." He had either - misunderstood the preacher, or had under* taken to revise the passage, "Except )'• t . repent, ye shall all likewise perish."
"I hope," the said, thoughtfully, ' thai , you won't hare anything more to say about [ the manner id which women hunt for bar- . gains and get cheated." " Why not? Don I' you think your sex deserve* it?" "fn> M' j going to discuss the point. E«n if " deserre the criticism, it does not c<"M ■ •, gracefully from a man who buys bii WT; , restorer regularly from a bald-headed hair* * ; dresser."
A gentleman, while walking along * road _, not far from the side of which there ran a • railway line, encountered a number of \ ■>: insane people out for exerciser With aaw . towards the railway lines, be said to one of % & the lunatics: " Where does this railway V to!" The lunatic looked at him soomfulljf 7. for a moment, and then replied: "Itdo** S go anywhere. We keep it here to W ' trains on," v
A little boy bad com* to school for to*| first) time. The teacher, to encourage tW' ' children to apeak, asked them simp" questions, inch as, "How many feet f>* w ., yon etc. The cautious little BMi ho»- • ever, listened without saying anything. /■ ■ last the teacher, noticing this, said to hw> ;, . "How many feet did you say yon had r. i. Afraid of committing himself, he «Wi , i " Please, sir, I didna say I had ony." s v
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Bibliographic details
New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIV, Issue 10509, 31 July 1897, Page 4 (Supplement)
Word Count
368ODDS AND ENDS. New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIV, Issue 10509, 31 July 1897, Page 4 (Supplement)
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