ODDS AND ENDS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIV, Issue 10479, 26 June 1897, Page 4 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS.

He: "Mrs. Pecker can read her husband , ] like a book." She: "Yes, and she can shut, him up like one, too." " Things seem to be coming my way i» , : last," said the tragedian on the stage as Bβ dodged another oabbage. " Schyinaer's awfully afraid of germs." "Ishe ?" " Yes. He never writes a letter . without first boiling the.ink." She: "The count,you know, can trace his family back 800 years." Hβ: "Ah! Through the bankruptcy court records, I suppose." Manager: " I thought I hoard some high words in the theatre just now." Usher: "You did, sir; very high, sir." "WW- . were they over!" "A lady's hat, sir." < ■ Poet: " Let me tell you, sir, that poee cost me a week's hard labour." Editor (who has read it): "Is that all? If I'd M, the passing of the sentence you'd have got" month." Author: " You havo no idea how m»»y stamps I use posting my manuscripts v> various editors." Critic: "Very likely. 1 ■;& think there ought to be excursion-tickets fl» manuscripts at reduced rates." Old , Party: " Why are you crying, OJ little man?" The Little Man : "Please, air, I ]_l_loat m-me ball." Old Party: " Weil, well; don't cry. Here's sixpence to bay another. Now "tell me where yw lost it?' The Little Man: "Please, iir, troo de front) winder of yer house, sir. ; Mrs. Jones: "Do you remember thai night in June, Henry, when you first asked me to marry you?" Sir. Jones: "H y°? refer to thab first, last, single, solitary, and only occasion upon which I ever asked yo> to marry me, I do—and you never gave me another chance, either." ■ '