TALL STORIES.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIV, Issue 10479, 26 June 1897, Page 2 (Supplement)

TALL STORIES.

THE MAJOR TOLD THE BIGGEST ONE. Therb were five or six of them sitting about the stove in the drug store, and they had been telling soma pretty tall stories. The druggist was a man of some humour and

nventiou, and ho concocted a mixture of great potency and line flavour, composed of Sp. Frumenti, saccbarum alba, cortex limonis, caropbyllus aromaticus, and aqua pura q.s. Thia mixture he proposed to administer to whomsoever should tell the biggest story, and the party at once began to stretch their inventive powers to their fullest extent. A toilet soap drummer was appointed judge; and the prize mixture, steaming hot, sat in an eight • ounce graduated measure upon the edge of the stove.

The Colonel told a war story of the Munchausen variety, the Squire related u hunting adventure that evinced a decided genius fur evading the truth, and the Postinastor made a strong bid for the prize with a snake story big enough to make thn sea serponb jealous. The others followed in turn; and the last man, the Major, entered the competition. The Major had in his mind ft remarkablo narrative about a dog that ho owned that did some wonderful things, am! he began his story this way ; " Lust Wednesday morning I got up a little later than usual, and went down to breakfast. Most of you have seen that brown setter of mine; he's » good deal smarter tlwn most men, Well, that dog was in the dining-room when I went) in. As I came in the door ray wifo, who was waiting for me, said;

"' John, when I went to wake you up this morning I found this five-dollar bill on the floor. You must have dropped it from your pocket when you undressed last night,' Then she handed me the bill, Now, that dog of mine was—" " Wait a minute," said the toilet soap drummer, " you needn't go any further with your story. The prize Iβ yours. I'm a married man myself, and that lie you've jusb told is one that you'll never improve on. I hereby render a decision in your favour."

Aβ there were no single men in tho crowd, not a voice was raised in protest againsb the judge's verdict.—Detroit Free Press.