ODDS AND ENDS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXIII, Issue 10079, 14 March 1896, Page 4 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS.

There are two sides to every quesiionours and the wrong side. It is a slow baby that docs not know which of its relatives is most easily imposed upon. One cannot pat too ranch of a good thin?. When it reaches too much it is no longer good. Love needs no definition. Men aid women loved long before there were dictionaries.

Next to making a mistake, the easier thing in the world is to criticise goinebodj else's mistake.

Amy (at the football grounds): " Why don't they begin to play Dolly; "Tki surgeons haven't arrived yet." At least threw men on the average jury feel bound to disagree with the rest. to ?ficw that they've got minds of their own. Caller: "Is your mother encag&i? Boy : " Engaged I Get out. Sha wa! married to my pa before I was born.' 1 " Did you eay you wanted Shuke-perr works?" asked the bookseller. "X<\' replied the little girl, "I want) his play?. ' " I have always given our first mother Eve, credit for one thing," said Mr. Chug water. " She didn't hyphenate her nam* when she married Adam."

If we could bear our own disappointments with a small fraction of the equanimity with which we bear the disappointments of others, what a sweet and delightful world this would bo to live in I Little Billee (explaining): "In an affair of this kind, you see, a large man a? 3 great advantage. Now you take a small man like me—" Miss O'Farrell; "Oh, Mr. Baghot! This is so sudden !" Wife (to unhappy husband): " I w® o ' l ' not worry, John ; it doesn't do any g«>il tc borrow trouble." Husband: " Horn"* trouble? Great Caesar! my dear, 1 si"' borrowing trouble; I've got it to lend.' " Don't you find it—ouch I—pretty diffi; cult to make a living at this busine?* ' asked the disagreeable man. Yes, >' r said the dentist, applying the forceps again ;" I live principally—hold still Ifrom hand to mouth."

Lady (in a crowded tramway car! ; "Thank you, sir; but I don't like to deprive you of your comfortable seat." In'™" man (who had risen to offer a seat): the powers, ma'am, it was comfortable « c longer when Oi saw yez standin' I" Neighbour: "Bertie, your mother " calling you." Bertie: " Yes'in, I know it,; but I fancy she don't want me very ' ,a,i Neighbour: "She has called you s^' en times already." Bertie: "Yes, 1 know; but she hasn't called ' Albert' vet.' Master: " Pafc, I have a suspicion tW either you or I was drunk last nijlj'Pat: " Oi've a suspicion av thot konw rnesilf, sor." "Well, Pat, yon ra'C*" which one of us was it?" "Well, -°j\ Oi'il nob be castin' anny refaction, but " l do be eayin' thot Oi invied yez." "If any here present," said the officiating clergyman at a Western wedding ''can show just cause why this woman f 1 ' 1 this man may nob lawfully bp i°' ne together, let) him now speak, or fur tver hold his peace." The bridegroom casually laid a pair of larpe revolvers on the railing in front of him, and the cereQlODj proceeded. _