AN ENTERPRISING BURGLAR.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXII, Issue 10014, 28 December 1895, Page 2 (Supplement)

AN ENTERPRISING BURGLAR.

A solicitor, who formerly carriocl on tin extensive practice not far from tho aristocratic precincts of Great) Saffron Hill (says a London paper), tolls an amusing burglary story, A client of his who hod " got into trouble" sent for him, and at thocloso of the interview the lawyer inquired after a mutual acquaintance, and was answered as follows :—

What's boootuo of Tiny? Tiny Davis, you mean, sir? Why 1 hadn't you heard about it Has got jugged, pore chap !—and precious lucky they didn't pinch mo, too ! You know, sir, it was like this. Tiny and mo was partners. Well! there was a honso out in Avenue Road—Singeon's Wood way —where old If (naming a well-known banker) lives. Tiny happened to be passing that way one morning, and lie sea into tho dining-room—whilo they was all at breaking. Plate ! it was a fair perisher—pore little Tiny used to my as his mouth took and watered at tho sight of it 1 In that ouo glance through tho window ho see as the sideboard was lined with silver—and a fino groat urn—lifo-size—all silver— on the breakfast table.

Tiny says to himself, " Strike me pink, I must soo into this 'ere matter, or bust I" Ho'd got his slap up togs on—you know what a toff he used to be—so ho hangs about till most of the family had gone out, and then ho walks in and ring's the frontdoor bell, and n.'lis tho slavey il sho could give him a glass of water, 'cos lie fools faint! Sho was pretty fly, though, sho was—and sho calls another maid, who fetches it, while the first one kep' a' eye on Tiny—which ho had to drink all that beastly water when it come. However, ho couldn't get on much with either of 'em, though they wore both nice-looking piece", but a bit haughty. So he thanks them, anil goes away, and tells me. Wo talked tho whole thing over, and a few nights afterwards wont out and had a look round tho piano. When the slop had passed on his beat, wo dogod inside the gardon, and Tiny kop' watch whilo I tried all tho windows— but old H— knows how to tako care of his property, and the windows was all barred and lined with shoot-iron, and Tiny noticed tho day lie called ft? tho front dour was all studded insido with them beastly broadheaded nails as snap a centro-bit like glass. So we watched tho slop out ol night again, and come away and left it.

About three weeks aftor Tiny came to my room in Short's Gardens, and says, '• Matey, I've been thinking about that job in Avenue Koad, and 1 think we can manage it—old 11 'a crib, you know"— he says—for I'd forgotten nil about it. " Oh," 1 says, " have you squared the si ivey, thon ? "--for the placo was so Btrong, it seemed to me as if it must be a put-up job if 'twas done at all. " Slavey bo handed !" says lie. "I've got a bettor plan than slaveys. Thoy've gone away— the blooiniti' lot of 'em. I happened to bo at Waterloo yesterday morning, and I seo their lugpngo—onough to fill :i l'ickforil— labelled Bournemouth. I hunt; about the booking-nllico till I hear old II ask for 'three Ill's is, Bournemouth,' and I see them all olT! Then I walked across the bridge, and took tho underground to Marlon)' Koad, and loafs about near the house. A butcher boy comes up, and I gets into talk with him, and ho tods mo that all tho family's gone to tho seaside for a holiday, and lam tlio liouso empty, 'cepting one slavey. " I called at Loir Btoilmann's on my way back, and told him what I couldn't do without lolling ; and we'll got a big ompty packing-case, and I'll get nisido—(l m only a li'tlo chap) with my tools, and you'll nail mo up in (lie box, and lix one of those 'ere cards—l'vo picked 'mil up in Bedfordstreet—on tho top, and hire a carl, drive to tlio liouso, and leave the case therefrom (he stores, see, from Mr. 11—. You can manage to get it off Iho cart and into the house. They'll bo suro to take it in if you gay it's things Mr. ll—ordered before ho wont awnv. Breitmnnn 'II find a make-up for you to look like one of them carriers, and if wo giro him a quid he'll write the label for us, so that it'll look O.K. You'll bo about the night arter tho case is left, and I'll break out and let you in quiet and comfortable."

Well, it seemed all right, so wo wont over to Bruit matin's, an I he'd got a packingcaso big enough to hold Tiny, an I ho makes mo up with corduroy* and a catdig m wai«teoat, 'xactly like them enrrior bloke®, and he writes the direction, ami {jets a Iturso and cart from a friend of his at tho Mews— only charges thirty bob for tho lot. And I nails Tiny up, and off we drive*.

TinyM got a meat pie, and fiask of gin, in with him, as woll as his tools, and I'd bored some holes in the sides, and knocked a knot, out ol the top of the c-«°e, so as to let him breathe, and he'd got some straw to lie on, " How d'ye feel?' 1 asked, as we was passing Lord',i Cricket li round. "Pretty well," says ho, "if'twasn't for this cussed jolting. Mind you're thote all light tonight."

Well, I drovo up to tho gate as nice as tuppence, and out came tho slavoy—sho wns a proper looking gal!—samo as Tiny said— a bit stand-ollish. " What's thi« ?' says she. " From the -stores for Mr. If ," I says. " Well," sho says, looking at me sharplike, " I've never hoard nothing about it, but I s'poso it's all right." Quite right, miss," says I,ami, between us, we gets it off tho cart and into the house.

" It'll have to stop hero," sho says, n; we dragged it into a half-empty room on the ground floor. " You and mo can't never get it, upstair?." "No, miss," says I, for tho placo would suit us better than upstairs. " Will you have somothing to drink ?" she says, and goes off to fetch it. She was u ronl nice gal, and if it hadn't been for Tiny a-lying therehut there ! "There's no pleasure without pain," as tho man said when his wife died and thuy charged him two p'un' ton for the coffin. I noticed while sho was out. of the room that the window was about live feet from tho ground outside, and not so strongly lasteuod as tho rest of them— ono bar across. Wo must havo missed it somehow tho othor night, so, thinks I, " I'll get up on that window lodgo to night, and Wait there till Tiny bursts out—he'll be surprised to seo me. Well! I drinks the young lady's health, and off I goes, leaves i ho cart id. Levi's, mid at a quarter to eleven that night 1 was standing in the pardon 1 gets on to that ledgo, and out with my jemmy, and with a couple of wrenches the fastening came away quietly, and I opens tlio window. Thou I hoars Tiny scratching away insido tho case. I'oro chap! ho was that cramped with laying insido so long ho couldn't use hi< tools properly, and ho Was making a awful row, too. I was afraid somuone would hoar him, and soinoono did, 100 1 for while I crouched down on that sill, a sweating away at t.lin bar (I'd shut down tho window again), the door opotied, and in como the slavey. "I thought I heard something," says sin to herself, and looks round, frightened like, and then alio goes out again. I listened, and opens the window, and whispers as loud as I dared, " D'yenr, Tiny 1 Keopquiot, there's hawks about!"

"Is that you, mate," says ho, "how'd you get in?" but 1 hoars tho slavoy coming back, and just gots out of sight in time. The window was open, but sho never noticed it, for Tiny went on mumbling, "Open this 'ere case, mate, I'm bo cramped—"

" Lawk* 1" yelled tlio gal, "it's thioves," and she bolts out of the room.

" (Jot out and slope, Tiny 1" I roars, for it was all over now, and then, just as I was getting off the lodge, back come that girl, and what do you think she done ? Sho'had a kottle full of hiding water in her hand, and she took and poured the blooming lot down that knot-hole—liko the girl done in the " Forty Thieves" at tlio Gaiety. Yell! I novor hoard such yolls as poor Tiny gnvo, ns I bolts across the garden. I had just time to lay down behind a bush as two poolers como running up towards tho houso, I could hear pore Tiny singing out all the way down Avenue Road, and whon I seo him at tho OKI Bailey artorwards his face looked liko a piece of half-fried tripe ! Pore Tiny! they give him live years, and co in pi i inon tod the slavey on her presenco of mind."