LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXII, Issue 10014, 28 December 1895, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

"Let me have auiliauce for a wnr.t or two."

—Shaketptrt. Tin are the days when everybody allows h:m«elf or herself to indulge in a little folly. It "as said of old that man could i).: live by bread alone, and neither can wo [■■ Hoik alone. he man whoso mind never travels ueynnd work soon loses his capacity tar doing work. At this season one should of some kind of amusement. lie i...>y gn to the races or to a church picnic. ! haw inanitc-ted my breadth of sympathy h goi.ig to both; and I must say that c was not much difference in tho be- }. lour of the people at those functions. There may have been a little uioro beer c i.-u'iicd in the c.is-: of the at lenders at) tir.: racecourse, and there may have b-cn a tie more injurious eating of ; os at the picnic, but on tho whole in ir.rrs were pretty well balanced. I h miked by both by having communion v.i'.ii my fellow-creatures.

1 have rea with interest- all about our M ti.iol examinations, especially about the gii:.» of the Grammar School, where the l'iipus. a.> obtaining a higher education, ~ro models for other schools. I read about how ilie lmils had more than held their P'-ico* in competition with the boys, and now certain ol tliem had excelled in Latin, in I'tench, .-in I in mathematics. But I -ai l lo Unscl:. how about the capacity to e.'ok a dinner? That is a real feminine iii'L'nuiph.-lmieiit. After all, ladies, although you have got the suffrage, although you are banded in leagues tor the purpose of advancing yourselves, and curtailing the power of the tyrant man, he has got something to say about your future, and may if he chooses leave you to construe J difficult passages iii Horace or Juvenal to your satisfaction, prefening someone who has some knowledge of the grammar of C'kery. 1 (to not see why tho cookery classes should be abolished, or why a young hdy should no: be summoned to the front

of the rostrum 11 receive a prize as the most rmmcil in baking or cooking. I do not thin 1: there would be much danger of overpressure in the cookery lessons.

Ti.osi good little boys, the telegraph I messengers, are not it seems by the laws ot ;vj service allowed to receive any reminder t:ut tins is the Christmas season. So far as ilieiik'io individual is concerned virtue must he its i.iv, reward. Ministers have determined that die boys shall be taught suitustraiiit and suit abnegation, and Clio w;i..,e gamut of what, in the jargon of m «iern metaphysical slang, is called a,truism. Any person who feels inclined to give half a crown to a telegraph messe.iger who may have toiled to his oliicc or house timing the year with messages of business or ot friendship may hand the amount to trie officer in charge, ami there it goes to form a prize fund, as a reward to those boys who obtain the greatest number of marks Lr punctuality, smartness, civility, and jeanline>e. Any particular boy therefore lull obi tin his quota if he has been distinguished tor those sublime and Christian virtues I have specified. They are tho only virtues recognised by the telegraph service. Strict adherence to truth is not taken notice of. By the aid of the abovementioned qualities a telegraph boy may ultimately became Colonial Treasurer.

I remark it as a curious fact, that the men who are out-screeching themselves 011 a certain aspect ot social imparity, are men who are notorious as never having touched the subjcct by uny attempt to ie?cue the fallen. They sit in their comfortable studies and write to the newspapers to baulk tho efforts of those who are true Christian.-. For instance, the Rev. Mr. Williams, in his letter of a few days ago, said:—" If, however, I could be convinced that Bishop Hiil actually supported the enforcement of a measure so brutal an J cowardly and tyrannous as these C. 1.1. Acts, hcwotil I go down in my estimation toa very >-.)n?iderabie extent." I doubt very much whether Bishop Hid, if he had been alive now, would have trouble very ranch about the opinion of a man who knows nothing practically about the subject, But the tbviuis reply which occur.- to me i> to say tint it the Kev. Mr. Williams did onetithe of the work in the rescue of the fallen I th it Bishop Hill did, then he would rise enormously in my estimation. That will be the .-entiment which will occur to every iiiizeii of Auckland when he reads the egotistical sentence of Mr. Williams.

Chri-tmas messages are occasionally ■:.ixc i or ob-cure, as miu'ht naturally be ipected during trie festive season. Hare i- one which arrived in Auckland by the «s. \\aiot.ihi, "A Portuguese boat, '•Vaifa.' 1 It was handed over to the " blind •,ifin ' of the Northern Steamship Com ;-anv> .-t iff, and as he was equal to deciphi rintj the K )'t:t r aSfone, or any other puzzle : i a "mull way, lie succeeded in the course of .1 top-noon in making the missive out to !>, "A pair uf >:ee.«e on board Waiotahi," ..i, i made a centre first shot. _ Another •■:'jally intelligible communication found •■■-way into the hands of Superintendent dies, of the Auckland Firo Brigade, l'wstiriorMs porkibus arnvabus Katiieri— ,:.errv C liri-tmjs." In due course a bacon ..din cauic CO hand !

"lii the mi'l't of life we are in death," v.' u'l !ly illustrated this week. A lady on pleasure bent, hailing from our western mburb, was on a trip South when it ( "L-urre l to her .it the la«t minute to teleI ■•■j'ic to town to a livery stable, Send up .. Lainou) cib at once, for Tarawera. .'.fur waiting some little time, and no cab • ijjivcii iutj, .-he appealed, in her anxiety ' : avoid irii-=* s in«; the steamer, to the owner : :t j.a-.-inj; vehicle to fjive her a lift to the '.'■at. Her" rifjut:"t was acceded to, and i n minute." after her departure a heartland . . JVC to her residence. It appears that sctivo and intelligent receiver of the *■ -[.li-,tie aiercajjn under stood the request II by " hearse and Cab lot I'urewa. W hen !:■; l.i'iy returns from her southern tour and .ud.i that a hearse has been landed on her, . .ere will be a bad (juarter of an hour fot Jincuody

Whatever oth'-r virtues the New Woman idiv have acquired with her enlarged -[jficrt-, courte-y i* not one of them. It has l.cen ino-t noticeable during the holidays, !'. the tramcars, especially in the open 'a:-. An open car would go past, with cwv ; at filled, vet women persisted in up into the car, and practically !m«t •• i men one of their xeats, and compnl,. I them to hang on by the guard irons .it, I -i ind on the fide footboard. In not a ?:tr> m-tanco did 1 see a woman have the n,i'i-y to thank the man for vacating his •eat j. «r her She ."imply took it at) a matter 'i i Hit. When it comes to voting and "thi-r matter.-, .-he babbles about equality of <exe«, but when it comes to a scat in a :'.linear, or Handing, she pockets nor rhei.ri'-s and Haunts the privileges of her •i;i ijfletixively before the "horrid male creature."

An amusing incident took place during 'l.e holiday*, the scerio lying in a wool •tore. One of tho bosses, who was working late, determined instead of going home in tiie heated night air, to take a siesta in the store, and mounting tier after tier of wool biles he triced his hammock to tho r.-i- f if the store. Wearied by h:s toil ot i'.-f previous night he slept well and long. In the meantime the workers had staited early on tho wool and shifted it. When he awoke in the morning and looked ovor his hammock and saw no bales of wool, and the flooring far below him, he nearly fell out of the concern with fright. It Was tn-'.'ewiary to tret a ladder to enable him to K'-l down. lie has now registered a solemn vow that he will not be got " by the wool in that fashion in future. iIEKCt'TIO