ODDS AND ENDS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXI, Issue 9503, 5 May 1894, Page 4 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS.

Every mail longs to get rich, and then puts off until next month his determination to pave money. • When you hear a young man say that a girl has no heart you may be pretty sure that she has his. The average man may hesitate at a simple sum in arithmetic, but he'll settle the fiscal question off-hand. Before going ta war say a prayer ; before going to soa say two prayers; before marrying say three prayer*. i Vanity acts like a woman—they both think they lose something when love or I praise is.accorded to another. Re modesty in woman's dress, a lad) writer inquires : "Does the V at the back of the fasnionable bodice stand for virtue or vice ?" . " I has noticed," says Uncle Mose, "dab da man wot won't do nuffin' less'n he's paid fer it will do anyt hin', no matter how mean it am, peryidin' he do git paid fer it." . . * . '• " . A Continental journalist thus satirises what he considers to he the insular pride and self-esteem of Englishman :—" Inscription over Hades: ' Ici on parle . Francais.' Brass-plate on the door of heaven: *J. Bull.'" New Assistant: " Young lady in front wants to see some rings exactly like;the one she has on. She says she .thinks of having two alike, just for the,fun of the thing." Jeweller: Don't waste tinje on her. That ring she has on is an engagement 'ring, and she wants to find out what) it cost." Judge : "Am Ito understand, madame, that you want to withdraw your suit for divorce 2" Woman : " Yes, y'r honor." Judge: "But you have. charged that your husband neglected you, starved you, and maltreated you most shamefully." Woman: "If you please, sir, I.have just found out that the young woman I saw him with last week was his sister."