LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXXI, Issue 9401, 6 January 1894, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

" Let me hate audience for a irord or two." —Shakesvere. I havk always been accustomed to associate the partaking of liquors with social jollity, good humour, the cementing of friendship, and so on. But it seems as if the liquor question were to introduce a rancorous feeling of spite and hatred into society which will do more harm than all the evils of the drink traffic. The intemperance of the temperance advocates has long been proverbial, bub it seems as if we were about to have something worse developed on the other side. The champion of "the trade last session was Mr. Fish. He is well known as having the most copious vocabulary of use of an man in New Zealand - At the Dunedin election he was defeated, and therefore some amount of bitterness is to bo excused. But he was presented by some admirers in Punedin with IS3 sovereigns, and one might have thought that this would have put him into such good humour that he would have had nothing bub blessings for all around him. I know that." if my fellow-citizens were to give me half of the amount I should invoke all possible blessings to descend upon them to che remotest generations.

Mr. Fish has had several _ gifts of purses of sovereigns before, and indeed an envious newspaper scribe declares, " We have seen those sovereigns before," as if the identical coins made their appearance year after year. But on receiving the money, Mr. Fish, instead of being gentle and kindly, excelled even himself in an abusive tirade. This was directed against the leaders of tho temperance movement* tie called the Rev. Mr. Isitt "a ruffianly clerical slanderer," a "reverend slanderer," engaged in "ruffianly dirty work," "a so-called minister of Christ, ' and "a surpliced slanderer." These epithets have a most fish-like smell. Such a speech is nob calculated to be of any benefit to the spirittrade, and if those who look after the interests of that business would take my advice they would throw such men overboard, to the fishes.

But Mr. Fish, who, it must be remembered, is Mayor of Dunedin, does much worse than this. He goes on to proclaim a boycott. I quote a passage from his speech : —

I say this: where you find men who are notoriously against you employed in establishments, do not deal with those establishments while those men are employed there. 1 say that this Is the oniy effective way ,in which to deal with them; touch them in that which they love better than all else besides, which they love as much as they hate drink—that is, tueir pocket. You have got here in the two papers—the Times and the Star —in the one Robert Noble Adams and iu the other John Wesley Jago. These men are the leaders of those who are seeking to take your lives. Well, you must buy your paper, and you must advertise in them if you want to advertise, but if you want job printing done, whilst these men are employed there never go near those places —neither the one nor the other.

Now, the two gentlemen named are not the proprietors or editors of those papers, and have probably as little to do with the policy advocated as I ; have, bub the principle of the boycott has -to; be carried out, and a motive is held out to their employers to discharge them. I do not know thab I would have troubled to hring this up had I nob seen symptoms that the fiendish spirit of Fish was beginning to permeate the trade, though nowhere else has it found such frank and coarse expression. If the trade does adopt this Fish policy then defeat for it is certain. The extreme temperance party are a very small number in the community. The vast majority of people, while desiring to see the trade regulated, and intemperance discouraged, will not permit glaring injustice to be done, or men prohibited from taking a glass of beer if they want it. Bub if brewers and publicans begin to boycott, if they insist that employers shall discharge any employee who takes an active part in the temperance movement, then they will become obnoxious to every man who has any respect for freedom.

I have a proposal to make which will seb straight ah this difficulty about the coming to the colonies of their Royal Highnesses the Duke and Duchess of York. The invitation to the colonies would have been accepted gladly, and would have been most pleasant to Her Majesty, to the Prince and Princess of Wales, to the Gorernmenb of Great Britain, and to the whole people of the grand little island, but for that interesting domestic event which is anticipated in next Slay. All these great potentates hold that thatis an argument why this wished-for visit which may have such grand consequence, for the colonies and the Empire, cannot take place. Bah ! To my mind it is the greatest argument why the visit should take place. Possibly the Premiers of these colonies, being shrewd men and knowing human nature, being aware that such an event was expected and desired, had ib steadily in view. Don't you see? How grand it would be to have the heir to the throne born in Australasia ! Never ! never again would there be a word about cutting the painter, about severing from the empire ! We should be all bursting with loyalty for ever.

If a boy, he would of course be Prince of Australasia. We have as much right to give a title as Wales. If a girl, why, we should ail be so fond of "the little darling that we should almost be inclined to rise in rebellion to prevent her being taken away from uti. We should endow her with a million of money as a marriage portion. We should have to borrow the money to do it, but then that is nothing. There might be some difficulties ot- detail as to the place of birth. New Zealand and - Australia would have to settle where the event was to take place, and the comparative salubrity of the different regions would be keenly discussed. If New Zealand gained, then would follow a contest between the South Island and the North Island. If Australia were settled upon, then a palace would have to be built on the border line between Victoria and New South Wales.

, I have, to strengthen tny contention, a neat, apposite case in point, or precedent, as the lawyers say. Edward 1., to gratify the national feelings of the Welsh people, promised to give them a prince without blemish on his honour, Welsh by birth, and one who could not speak a word of English. He then, in order to fulfil his promise literally, sent Queen Eleanor to bo confined at Caernarvon Ca3tle, and the infant born there had, of course, all the three characteristics. These old-fashioned people—the first Prince of Wales was born in 1284 — knew how to do things. By doing this, Edward 1., just 610 year# ago, made a great stride towards securing the loyal attachment of the Welsh people. Human nature is much the same now as it was then. We are still governed largely by names and sentiments. Caernarvon Castle was at that time to the majority of Englishmen a stranger and more outlandish place than Australia is now.

A number of blocks of land have been offered to the Government in this district, but no purchase has been made. As probably that has arisen from the would-be sellers not knowing how to set about; the business, a few hints may be obtained from tho way in which the Pomahaka purchase in Otago, wag brought about. The property was assessed at £2 5s 3d an acre under the land tax, and gave a poor return for that valuation. The owner, who I need not mention is a strong supporter of the Minister of Lands, offered it to the government at £3 10a per acre. Then in a local papier a leading article appeared, in *hich the beauty of the situation and the fertility of . the soil, and other particulars, are descanted upon," and it is represented that all the people in' the neighbourhood are eager to obtain farms on the block. This article also shows how suitable the block" is for cutting up and disposal by

the Government). This is the point) that interests me. II is now confessed and acknowledged that the article was written by the owner of - the land, and the editor of the paper has , formally , stated that all ho got for the "cheap ad." was a "glass of whisky and a cigar." This is the way in which newspaper men sell their birthright. It is not nowadays a mess of pottage (or porridge), but), "a glass. of whisky and a cigar." Thab is the modern equivalent. Whisky and cigars were unknown in the days of . Jacob. Bub look how the poor simple newspaper man is had. The owner 'of the land walks away loaded with Govern- j ment money the newspaper man who did the business has a 1 glass of whisky and a cigar. ,We * are ' driven to this conclusion, that the reason why the Minister of Lands does not buy blocks of land in the Auckland district is because tho newspapers cannot be gob for a glass of whisky and a cigar. "• V' :i '

"The agenb of the Auckland Scripture Gift Association," whoever that gentleman maybe, has sent me a communication in reference to my remarks last week respecting the surreptitious placarding of the fence of the Bayfield public school, Ponsonby, with an offensive placard against the public school system, and also tho surreptitious placing of offensive pamphlets on the same subject in the vestry and pews of the Ponsonby Baptist Church. My correspondent goes into an > irrelevant discussion On the merits of religious v. secular education in the public schools, which I did not discuss, and quietly ignores the charge of somebody being guilty of un-English practices. If I read his letter aright ho appears to approve of the placarding business, and of the furtive dropping of leaflets in a vestry and the pews of a church, without the consent of the church authorities. The whole tenor of his letter (which is too leaden in its composition for the Local Gossip column) is that "the end sanctifies the means" — a motto which, however fitting on the lips of the disciples of Ignatius Loyola, is rather out of place in the mouth of the agent of the Scripture Gift Association. In further justification of the sort of thing recorded in last week's Local Gossip, he quotes (Heaven save the mark) four verses from Montgomery's poetry. " Sow in the morn thy seed," I suppose means placard a public school fence ; and "At eve hold not thy hand," is authority, I presume, to enter a vestry or the pew of a church and "plant" a leaflet.

My correspondent has curious notions as to a social code of good manners, but if lie were ac dusk on the strength of Montgomery's poetry to come into my home unasked and dump his offensive leaflets down in my private apartments, I would feel inclined to assisb him into the street on the authority of the poet, "At eve hold not. thine hand." To show how little the agent of the Scripture Association has noted the signs of the times at the late general election, he states that the results were not adverse to the Bible-in-Schools party, and that "the very large majority of the parents in New Zealand are at the present period in favour of non-prohibition of the Bible in the schools." As to the handbills (which, by the way, he admits, are ten years old, and therefore, useless as regards public questions in 189-4), he is good enough to explain that " they have been distributed anywhere and everywhere as opportunities have offered. Of course, no person is obliged to read them." For this, much thanks.

. At the late general eU ition a friend of mine had made up his mind to ask " the senior member" if lie would bring in a Bill to prevent a man practising on a pianoforte with one finger, in order to get his notes, after ten ,p.m. • . Talmage has stated in reply to an inquiry made to him, that a man may ;be a Christian and play the cornet, bub .ib .is, doubtful whether _ the fellow- next- door Will' be one. '<> The man who prods the pianoforte till a late hour in his home may- be a Christian, but ib is doubtful .whether my friend next door is one. After standing tho musical torture night after night for a while, he at last ventured to look over the backyard fence and enquire, " Why is this thus?" The neighbour on the opposite side' relieved his anxiety, by replying, " Oh, sings halto in the hanthem on Sunday, and is getting his top note !" Mekcctio.