LOOKING FOR WARD.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXVII, Issue 8414, 15 November 1890, Page 2 (Supplement)

LOOKING FOR WARD.

Time, -Union Hall. Chairman of Employers' Committee (to Chairman of Union Committee, with great meekness): "We have come, gentlemen, to ask the privilege of putting more capital in our business." Union Chairman (gruffly): " You have deceived us, then. We supposed you had already put all your capital into your business. Employers' Chairman : " We kept a little back for an emergency." Union Chairman (haughtly): " Bring the money here—we will invest it for you." Employers' Chairman : "We haven't received from our employes the percentage coming to us for last year's business." Union Chairman : " That will be attended to in due time. We had more than the usual number of union balls and union picnics last year, and according to the rules of tho union the expense must bo borne by tho employers. Have you been informed of tho now holiday the union has created ?" Employers' Chairman (aghast): " A new holiday ! Why, the working-men have three holidays every week already, without counting Sunday and the Saturday threequarters holiday." Union Chairman (sternly): "It makes no difference. Tho working - man owns the earth now, and he can make every day of the week a holiday if he chooses." Employers' Chairman : " Isn't it a little hard to ma'.e us pay our men double wages on a holiday ?" ° Union Chairman : "I don't think it is. You see the working-man's expenses go on just the same 011 a holiday as on any other day, and he wants as much more to spend." Employers' Chairman : " But we have no holidays at all." Union Chairman : " You don't need any. It would only bo a temptation to spend money that belongs by right to the labouring mail. Any other complaints to make ?"

Employers' Chairman : " Your new rule requiring us to act as nurses for our employes when they are ill, furnishing medicine at our own expense, is oppressive. I haven't had a {food night's rest since the rule went into effect." Union Chairman : " Can't help it. It is the duty of an employer to look after the health ot his men. Anything more? Be quick about it (looking at his watch) ; our committee is engaged to dine together at Delmomcos at 0, and we have a theatre party arranged for the evening—a compliment from the Scene-Shifter's Union, who are running all the theatres in New York now. ' Employers' Chairman (hesitatingly): "I wanted to ask the union if—if I might be allowed to retire from business at the end ct the year." Union Chairman : " Retire from business? No We don't allow any man to retire from business while he has breath or a cent. What d'ye suppose the union is for? Now git!" From Texas Sittings.