LATEST LOVE CURE.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXVI, Issue 9307, 9 March 1889, Page 2 (Supplement)

LATEST LOVE CURE.

RELIEF ASSURED TO THE TOR. TURED LOVER. A great popular want existing from time immemorial is for something that will cure a lover of a hopeless passion for a girl who says it can never be. No end of remedies have been suggested, such as travel, study, autograph-hunting, lecturing, baseball, horse-racing, Wall-street, chess, metaphysics, the hen-and-a-half puzzle. But, like the cures for seasickness, these devices have failed signally to give satisfaction. Are we to conclude, then, that it is impossible to relieve the pangs of despised love ? Well, no, not if a correspondent of the St. Louis Globe Democrat bears true witness. He reports thut an eminent surgeon of this city once relieved a man of love for a fair enslaver—a love for which he had no use—by cutting a hole in the poor fellow's skull just over the bump of amativeness, and allowing a leech to relieve that part of the brain of its excess of blood. A gratifying cure was effected. Temporarily " the fires of love were quenched." After a time, however, the patient had a relapse—he began to love the girl again. The leech was recalled, and once more he found himself not caring a picayune for " another," or, at all events, merely loving her like a sister. Several other attacks of the girl followed, but with constantly diminishing acuteness, until at length the man was permanently cured of her. This remedy has the merit of simpiicity. Any young gentleman who finds himself in possession of a small, but insignificant mitten at an expense of not over 4s can provide himself with an augur and & good working leech. A manual of phrenology, which will teach him where his bump of amativeness is, will cost him 25 cents more. Thus for the comparatively small sum of 5s he can Cleanse the stuffed bosom of the perilous girl Who weighs upon his heart. It is hardly necessary to point out that great care .should be exercised in using , the augur and in working the leech. If the augur should be inserted over the wrong bump, or, if starting right, should slip and bore crookedly, or if the leech instead of being kept strictly within the lines of the bump should be suffered to wander at will around the brain, the consequences might be unpleasant; might be worse than the mitten. However, the invention will doubtless be perfected before being formally placed on the market. It remains for the lawyers to decide whether it is not a palpable infringement upon a patent. The world was long ago informed that by means of ii surgical operation similar to the one in question a certain race of men not given to humour were induced to take a joke.—New York Tribune.