LADIES' COLUMA.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXV, Issue 9160, 15 September 1888, Page 4 (Supplement)

LADIES' COLUMA.

THINGS WORTH REMEMBERING.

On a first visit you leave one of your own and two of your husband's cards. A daughter's name is written underneath her mother's, on the same card. For calling or leaving cards the hours are from 3 to 5.

On no account must cards bo left in the morning—that is, before 2.30. Persons in the country can now send their cards by post if living at a distance and unable to make the call proper. A polite note should accompany them. Bachelors should leave their cards in person, though on very exceptional occasions they may be left by mother, sister, or friend. Every woman should keep a visitingbook.

A lady's visiting card should bo about three inches in length and two in depth, without glaze, and not too thick ; small clear copper-plate is the best for the name. Coronets, monograms, crests, and initials are never printed on visiting cards. The prolix " Mr." must never be omitted from a man's name.

A married lady only uses her Christian name, but if her husband has a father or brother living she would always use her husband's Christian name.

When a brother or sister reside together, the card bears their joint names. It is usually a lady's visiting card with the namo printed beneath her brother's. The same when a girl has no mother living, only a father.

Wedding cards must never be sent ; they are entirely out of fashion, so are memorial and christening cards. If a lady has a friend or acquaintance who is ill, sho leaves a card as soon as she can with the words " to inquire" written underneath her name. These cards cannot be sent by post under any circumstances. When people are not well enough to return thanks in person, they can do so by post—that is to say, they send cards with "to return thanks for kind inquiries" written underneath the name.

Cards or calls can be returned any time within a month.

After every entertainment to which a lady or gentleman has been invited, visiting cards must be left, whether those who have received invitations were present or not, and whether they accepted or declined.

Morning calls are the only social occasions when ladies receive their friends and acquaintances when no refreshments are offered to them with the exception of tea, cake, and bread and butter.

Invitations should be answered the same day, by return of post if possible. [At a recent concert given by the president and commissioners of the Centennial Exhibition 800 people never answered their invitations at all !] If by any unforeseen chance after accepting an invitation circumstances arise which prevent you fulfilling your engagement, you must at once let your hostess know, and explain your regret. It is perfectly distracting to a hostes3 not to know who is coming and who is not. Besides, it gives her an opportunity of asking someone in your place. An invitation to a wedding is issued as follows, printed in silver on note paper : — " Mr. and Mrs. Blank request tho honour of Mr. and Mrs. Dash's company at St. Peter's Church on Wednesday, July 25, at 2 o'clock, to be present at the marriage of their daughter and Mr. White, and afterwards at Varra Lodec for tea."

The bride and bridesmaids' bouquets are still presented to them by the bridegroom, and arrive at their destination on the wedding morning. The first to arrive at the church is the bridegroom, accompanied by his best man, and" he stands at the bottom of the chancel, waiting the arrival of the bride. When the person who gives away the bride is not her father he meets her at the door of the church, and escorts her to the building, but he does not accompany her in the carriage. Her mother in the proper person to do this in the absence of the father. After the bridal pair have left the church the next person to hurry away is the bride's mother, who goes home at once in order that she may receive her guests. This may be mentioned as almost the only instance in which it is good form for a hostess to precede her guests. Refreshments at a wedding breakfast are very elastic. They used not soar above tea, coffee, cake, and sandwiches, or they may include poultry, game, sweets, and champagne—in fact, nearly everything one would have at a ball supper. Guests depart directly after the bride and bridegroom. A widow cannot wear orange blossoms, either as a wreath or on her dress, or in her

bouquet. She must not wear a long bridal veil, except she wears it over a bonnet, and she cannot have bridesmaids or wedding favours. She must not continue to wear her iirst ring. A morning coat is now allowable at weddings for men, tho Prince of Wales having* set the fashion. A dinner-party invitation is always issued in the name of the host and hostess. So is that of a formal ball. "At homes" are sent out in the name of the hostess only. Luncheon invitations are given verbally, thus :—" Will you come and lunch with me on Thursday ?" or by a written invitation:—"Dear Mrs. Dash, —If you are disengaged, will you give me the pleasure of your company at lunch next Thursday at 2 o'clock ?—Believe me, yours sincerely, A Smith."

Afternoon tea-parties have lately become general with young people, friendly notes being sent on the following pattern :— " Dear ,— Will you come and take afternoon tea with me on ?—Yours very truly, Ann Dash."—"Queen Bee," in tho Australasian.

The latest marriage custom which has been introduced in the New World is the " secret honeymoon." To the " best man" at the wedding is entrusted the task of selecting a wedding tour, the direction of which he is forbidden by the dictates of honour to disclose to either bride or bridegroom. When the happy pair drive off from the wedding they have a sealed envelope handed to them, and upon opening this they first discover in" which direction their journey is to be. The practice is said to give great satisfaction and to work admirably. Its good points are that it throws an air of pleasing expectation over the honeymoon which would otherwise be absent, and prevents any chance of the bride and bridegroom wrecking their domestic happiness by squabbling as to the direction of the journey. As a drawback it may be suggested that it will give admirable opportunities of distinction for the practical joker Probably the next " society" drama will be founded upon the complications of a " secret honeymoon."